This post features grisly female spider violence, so it may not be to everyone’s taste.
It was lunchtime, and a dame has got to eat. Today, the only item on the menu was mealworm, though, and it was going to take a little wrasslin’ to overcome its struggles. This one was relatively easy; a demure little lady could just stroll up to the big lug, loop some silk around its neck, and give it a few venomous kisses. All he could muster was a little shudder as the poison killed him.
But this one…oh, this one wasn’t going to lie down easy. The minute he landed in the web he was frantically trying to escape, bucking and twisting, struggling to break free. Unfortunately for that worm, he was in the den of a couple, a big hungry momma and her skinny little consort.
“I’ll get it,” he squeaked, and leapt upon the lunch-to-be. He bit deep, but then discovered he had to cling tightly to his victim as it gyrated. “Help!” he cried.
Big Momma casually walked over and started tying up the worm. Wrapping, wrapping, wrapping, and her silk just happened to entangle her husband, tying him tightly to the worm, who continued to spin. “Hey!” he yelled, flailing about.
“Shut up,” she said, and gave him a bite. He stilled quickly, the poison killing his little body faster than it could the worm. “I’m busy.”
Cold. Remember this, next time you take a dame to lunch. Stay out of her way, and let her dig in first.
Ha! Joke’s on you Myers! I was put of heterosexuality years ago!
Susan Montgomery says
“grisly female spider violence”
I’m really disappointed. I was hoping for a lost L7 song.
How about this?
chigau (違う) says
PZ, you might be enjoying this a wee bit too much.