I’m sure you’ve all been waiting for the 2019 Hater’s Guide to the Williams-Sonoma Catalog. Wait no more!

One thing (at least) mystifies me. Williams-Sonoma is supposed to be marketing all this high-end, “classy,” useless stuff at an extravagant price, so why is there all this kitschy Star Wars junk for sale? This cheesy plastic Stormtrooper Toaster for $49.95 just screams that the owner is someone with no taste at all.

Even the stuff that is all crystal and chrome and plaid is an announcement that someone is low-class sucker, for that matter.


  1. drken says

    I was in Williams Sonoma today and they had an R2D2 pressure cooker on display. I definitely know a few people who would love to get one. They also have a “Han Solo in Carbonite” cast-iron roaster, which even the author of the “hater’s guide” had to admit was cool.

  2. blf says

    The mildly deranged penguin once tried an R2D2 pressure cooker. It worked, but even so cooked, robot suit is still inedible.

  3. leerudolph says

    Maybe they thought the Jesus toaster was too sectarian.

    Give Jesus a glass of water, and he’ll drink a toast to you in wine!

  4. wzrd1 says

    @3, I want a Cylon toaster/pressure cooker.
    I’ll make my own coffee, if I’m to die of food poisoning, I far prefer to die by my own incompetence.
    Given that my wife and I endured some really, really lousy tasting, highly bitter crackers in our soup this past weekend and after checking the date on the box, it turned out to be a box missed from discarding after a mid-summer bug bombing of our residence, yeah… :/
    Fortunately, most acetylcholinesterase inhibitors tend to degrade quickly. Otherwise, we’d have been doing the Funky Chicken on the floor or something equally unpleasant as our final acts.*

    *I had extensive nuclear, biological and chemical training, both in an operational environment and in treating those injured in said environments. Which, obviously, after departing such a role, put me on the survey team to ascertain any potential level of contamination…
    For, no good deed goes unpunished.

  5. Akira MacKenzie says

    Yes, that’s what I need! I gaudy and awkward looking kitchen appliance that sears the insignia for a despotic (albeit fictional) regime into my daily toast! TAKE MY MONEY!

  6. Ragutis says

    Do they make a Millennium Falcon waffle Iron?

    Holy crap… they do!

    I was just having a laugh, but now part of me is a bit conflicted.