Pssst. Wanna read some porn? The short list for the Literary Society’s Bad Sex in Fiction award has been announced. You can also read some longer excerpts, if the short quotes in the first link are insufficiently repellent.
I almost liked this one.
She gave a yet deeper, moaning sigh. Like breathing in he saw the word he had said shiver and expand inside her. Her arms moved now, and flexed: out of here, Venus de Milo. He watched the death-life fill her growingly. She grabbed and caressed him with more muscle, more zest, than ever before. Her long lean arms were spider arms, while her kisses roved and dug.
‘I see it,’ he said. ‘You are the female praying mantis, devouring her mate.’
‘I am. You are. I shall eat every shred of you.’
‘Mouthful by mouthful.’
But nah. The author is just trying to trick me with the spider allusions, but there’s no substance here.
Actually, all of the choices are out of date and obsolete. They’ve all been superseded by one brief tweet on Twitter.
2 minutes of erection is enough to conclude the coitus and fecundate the female. Anything beyond that is perversion, degeneracy and socialism.
— Julia Song (@realjuliasong) November 27, 2019
Mmm-mmmm. Now that’s bad sex.