“A surprising amount of death of small vertebrates in the Amazon is likely due to arthropods such as big spiders and centipedes.”


See? This is why we don’t invite mygalomorphs and scolopendrids to any of our parties. They tend to eviscerate and decapitate and consume innocent visitors and splatter fluids all over everything. The Araneomorphae are much tidier, wrapping up their victims in silk and then neatly puncturing them and sucking out their guts. It’s the difference between an axe murderer and the gangster who lays down plastic before executing his enemy. Who would you rather have at a social event?

Comments

  1. says

    If you’re worried about spiders, then along with the wall, we should build a large national bathtub. Without me there to help them get out of it, the spiders will collect in it and can be dealt with humanely by somebody else.

  2. beardymcviking says

    Would a large national bathtub really work? Won’t the babies just fly across? (Do you guys have flying baby spiders as a common thing in America?

  3. says

    Well, one of the popular justifications for the wall is that houses have walls. Houses also tend to have bathtubs, so it’s good to have a bathtub. A NATIONAL bathtub. The way my bathtub works is that the spiders get in and they can’t get out, so I have to go sucker them into a cardboard tube I keep for just such an occasion, and then I poof it out the window where it will immediately be run over by a steamroller or something.

    Wait, where was I? Oh yeah, the national bathtub. If the flying baby spiders are a problem, then we just have to make the shower curtain higher. I believe that takes care of it. No questions: I can’t hear you over the helicopter.

  4. beardymcviking says

    Got it :)

    So Kip, is a shower curtain still a shower curtain if it’s made of steel slats?

Leave a Reply