Colonoscopy phase II: Completed!


I did it. I drank all 4 liters in 4 hours.The cat was clearly hoping to gnaw on my dying flesh, but all she got was a couple of dead soldiers.

I have to say…it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. God help me, I was even beginning to sort of half-like the flavor by the end, and was a little disappointed. There were all these warnings about how I might feel nauseous and it’s OK if I took a break…but it was relatively easy, didn’t even feel a twinge. Also, a bonus: I haven’t eaten in 24 hours now, but I’m so full of fluid that I’m not hungry in the slightest.

The worst part was just the volume. I slosh when I walk now.

The next step is to just get through the night. I’m supposed to drink another liter of water after midnight and before 6am, to be hydrated for the procedure.

Comments

  1. Cuttlefish says

    I think I live-blogged mine in verse.

    Not the slightest bit tempted to check, though.

  2. blf says

    Not hydrated per se… lubricated. So have some uisge-beatha — two litres over the space of six-ish hours should not only see you well “lubricated”, but also dead, after which the procedure does not seem so terrifying (and, in addition, as a bonus, possibly making the evil cat grin & return to the dimensions from which she came).

  3. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    I see the devil cat is inspecting her work. Beware overnight.

  4. jrkrideau says

    It is a wonder that poor cat has survived with the brutish PZ in the household.

  5. ouzelumbird says

    Uhmm… not to put too fine a point on it, but if that’s your entire description of Part Deux… if you “slosh when you walk”… errr… how does one put this? It appears that something… a very important thing… has been left out. Or… has not been left out? This is a bit tricky, but I think *cough* y’all know what I’m getting at. Yeah… well…. soooo… *shuffles feet, concerned* good night, and…. good luck. If your scope team is good, you’ll nap through the procedure and wake up happy =)

  6. imback says

    Stay no more than ten steps away from the bathroom now, and ask the trophy wife to use a different bathroom, to which she will gladly go as the outflow could get noisy.

    My wife and I did concurrent colonoscopies, each claiming our own bathrooms. It worked out since we were fasting together and flushed out together, misery loving company. After the morning procedure we enjoyed eating lunch out at an Italian restaurant, relief loving company too.

  7. Matrim says

    When I had one done the stuff I had to drink was pretty awful. Really had to fight not to vomit when doing the final bit. Also the constant shitting until I was completely empty was less than fun. The colonoscopy (it was actually a combination colonoscopy and endoscopy, was getting it from both ends) itself was relatively nice. I obviously don’t remember the procedure, and midazolam is always lovely.

  8. raffo says

    When I had mine I only remember falling asleep and then waking after it was done. I was pretty hungry, so I had a nice lunch.

  9. tacitus says

    The colonoscopy (it was actually a combination colonoscopy and endoscopy, was getting it from both ends) itself was relatively nice.

    I had the two-for-one special too, the only issue being they must have installed the bite block incorrectly because I must have been biting into my lower lip the whole time — it was painful for the next few days.

    The purging was a cinch, though, mostly because it coincided with a bout of the stomach flu, so in the final few hours, there was nothing left in there to come out. The doc said I was as clean as a whistle.

  10. Matrim says

    @9, tacitus

    When I was a teenager I had a scope procedure that was pretty bad, either they didn’t give me enough midazolam or it was ineffective because I remember the procedure in a sort of muffled way. I mean, you’re always supposed to be awakeish so you can follow basic commands, but the midazolam is supposed to knock out your short term memory. Every subsequent procedure has been pretty restful.

  11. marinerachel says

    I talked to my stepdad about the experience because the prep sounded gross but doable. What I thought sounded horrifying was the subsequent uncontrollable, hours and hours of diarrhoea. His explanation was: “At first it was fine. I wondered when it would start. Then I wondered when it was going to stop!”

    It’s all for a good cause, though.

  12. madtom1999 says

    Many years ago I was a long distance runner. I also had (undiagnosed*) lactose intolerance. I was eating 12k calories or more a day and had a transit time of less than 2 hours – and that was for food! Timing was critical for running but mostly manageable.
    I had many tests and one doctor said the lab could find nothing wrong with my stool sample. He was rather taken aback by my considerable laughter until I pointed out that surely the fact that is was more liquid than my urine ought to be a bit of a concern.
    All I can say is keep clean and keep moisturised!
    * Self testing revealed I cant drink cows milk but goat and sheep is OK???

  13. mareap says

    My instructions from Gundersen Clinic told me to use a large bore straw to bypass my taste buds. Are they the only clinic telling people this?

  14. Chakat Firepaw says

    @madtom1999 #13

    I also had (undiagnosed*) lactose intolerance.

    * Self testing revealed I cant drink cows milk but goat and sheep is OK???

    Goat’s milk does have slightly lower amounts of lactose than cow’s milk but given that sheep’s milk, (which has the same amount as cow’s), is OK it might be less lactose intolerance and more a milk allergy. One of the go-to things to attempt with a milk allergy is to switch to goat’s milk because it doesn’t have the most common proteins¹ that people are allergic to. I presume sheep’s milk would also have a different protein mix.

    1: It, however, does have more of some of the less common ones. I have the hyperactivity reaction and trying goat’s milk had me literally climbing the walls.

  15. dianne says

    @13: Are you sure it’s lactose that’s giving you the problems and not something else in the milk? Also, have you been tested for celiac disease? Celiac disease can cause the surface of the intestines (where most of the lactase lives) to get sloughed off and cause a lactose intolerance that can be treated by stopping gluten intake. (Yeah, and you’ll be trendy.)

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