Ken — you’re backsliding

The moment an Evangelical Christian compromises, they’re on the road to hell. Ken Ham of Answers in Genesis had that moment when he could have said he’s going to stand by his principles and insist that every employee of his organization must abide by his rigid religious articles of faith, and he wavered and wobbled and decided that in the absence of a large enough population of fanatics in the region, he’d allow some positions to be filled by lukewarm Christians.

We are a Christian organization, and as a Christian organization, we employ people who are Christians. We actually, for the seasonals, we actually have a more abridged Statement of Faith, the fundamentals of Christianity, not our detailed one for all of our full-time managers and others. So for seasonals, I know there’s a lot of young people who still aren’t necessarily mature in all their thinking in lots of areas, but if they can sign the tenets of the fundamentals of the Christian faith, they can… work here.

An abridged Statement of Faith? The Devil loves it when you abridge your faith. Satan just danced along on your principles, kicking out a word here, chopping out a phrase there, cackling as he tricked Jesus into making concessions.

The bad news is that the rest of us are going to have to put up with Ken Ham joining us in Hell now.


  1. Andrew David says

    Because the “Were you there?” retort is for Christians who are “mature in all their thinking.”

  2. tbp1 says

    Some of the comments at the linked article are pretty funny, especially the one wondering why they can’t make do with the staff they have, given that 8 people took care of millions of animals in a constantly heaving boat for a year. How hard could it be to run a theme park compared to that?

  3. Sastra says

    Actually, I think this is a pretty smooth move from their standpoint. “Lukewarm Christians” constantly surrounded by propaganda and True Blue Christians are far more likely to convert than nonchristians, temporary visitors, or employees who already agree. It’s a ministering opportunity.

    Of course, this is working on the assumption that creationist Christianity and its adherents are more appealing to the lukewarm, than the other way around.

  4. davidc1 says

    I am looking forward to my spell in Hell ,just think of all the great Historical figures you will be able to chat with .

  5. rietpluim says

    What tenets, exactly? The reformed church in The Netherlands schismatized over the meaning of baptism in 1944, during World War II, at the peak of the Jewish persecution. Apparently, the question of pouring water over somebody’s head was very urgent to them. So it is fair to say that the meaning of baptism is a true tenet of the fundamentals of the Christian faith. Except that Christians do not agree on what that meaning is.

  6. kurt1 says

    Listening to Ken Ham for all eternity sounds like hell to me (5 minutes is more than enough already). So maybe he just gets recruited by satan to punish the wicked or something.

  7. ashley says

    I’m sorry to break this to all of you but it’s possible that Ken Ham was lying (and then lied again when another blogger highlighted this topic). Please see my link which follows in a moment.

  8. unclefrogy says

    I am not worried about seeing hammy in hell I am pretty sure we will not be in the same circle of hell, I am just an ordinary unbelieving sinner not a two faced lying minster of the church.

    uncle frogy

  9. Rich Woods says

    @unclefrogy #10:

    That reminds me of the joke which starts with the question, “If you could take one item with you to Hell, what would it be?”

    A: “A blanket, because I’ll need to keep myself warm. There’s no way I’ll get anywhere near enough to the actual fires of Hell with all those fucking priests in the way.”

  10. jrkrideau says

    We are a Christian organization, and as a Christian organization, we employ people who are Christians.

    Is that actually legal?
    I do not know the status of Ham’s organization in the US but it seems highly illegal in Canada unless you are an actual church.

    Does anyone know if a Canadian church can discriminate against non-Christian janitors?

  11. Crudely Wrott says

    My inner cat just coughed up a surprisingly large and convoluted hair-ball upon hearing the likes of Ham speaking of “maturity”. (Though it (the hair-ball) was actually quite fascinating and strangely beautiful, once I had regained my composure enough to examine it in detail. Pity that I don’t have the skills to provide a detailed drawing.)
    Reflecting on the unique experience, I realized a boon: it beats having to drain my keyboard and wipe my monitor free of the beer that otherwise would have flown out of my nose. Cheaper, too, as my kit suffered no interruptions or failures. Not to mention the cost of the lost brewski.
    Yo! Kitty!!

  12. chigau (違う) says

    Crudely Wrott #14
    If I put
    My Inner Cat Coughed Up A Hairball
    on a t-shirt and sold alot
    do I owe you a bit of money?
    (hypothetically. I’d never actually get off my arse)

  13. Crudely Wrott says

    @ Chigau (who I have learned to respect and enjoy)
    You only owe me money if your conscience demands it or If I copyright the phrase.
    I probably will not do that.
    So, I guess it’s up to you. =)
    (non-hypothetically, I’m not getting off mine, either.)
    *gives Vulcan hand sign backed by a smile*

    PS: Just fooling around with a silly notion but, wanna do it?

  14. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    @chigau & Crudely Wrott:

    Someone needs to spiff up a t-shirt design that says:

    My spirit animal is a white woman.

    Actually coined by a friend of mine, but it certainly deserves its own t-shirt, as long as we’re all sitting around thinking about things we’re unlikely to be bothered to do any time soon.

  15. chigau (違う) says

    CW & CD
    I have recently learned that it is possible to make iron-on thingies in your own home.
    The days of making a bundle on specialty t-shirts may be over.