The Superbowl is in Minneapolis this weekend, and I’m happy to say I’m staying 150 miles away from that mess. Various outlets are busy trying to inform the influx of visitors about Minnesota culture, and this is one absolutely essential point.
Be ready to experience first-class passive aggression. If someone says your old school Ron Jaworski Eagles jersey is “interesting,” they are not a fan. If someone says, “I’m not mad,” they are, in fact, mad. If you get to a 4-way stop at roughly the same time as another driver(s), your best bet is to just abandon the car, get out, and walk to your destination, as who gets to go first will never be resolved by conventional means.
The 4-way stop thing? Totally true, unless one of the people was born out of state, like me, and exasperatedly cuts the friendly waving short and accelerates right on through. What they don’t say about the passive-aggressive stuff is that everyone is going to be very polite to all these East Coast people, but deep down…they hate them. Especially the Philadelphians. No, wait, especially the Pats fans. We hate them with a white hot passion. They will be boorish and crude and impolite, and all the natives will be seething inside, regretting that they left their Viking axes at home, or there would be some churls waking up in Hel with their brains draping their shoulders, I tell you what.
If it’s any consolation, this Pats fan is staying home.
As for the four-way stop thing….. (Of course John Prine is from Illinois.)
From Seattle:
You go, no you go, no you go guy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O41BMCNLtNc
(Just giving the URL, because I’m afraid it’ll embed.)
I know right where this intersection is, too…
Wait, that 4 Way Stop thing confuses me. Is there no general right before left rule in the US? Or only not in that state?
In Germany its clear, right drives before left, even if the actual Handling of the rule is more fluid. I always thought this was a world wide constant (besides Nations that drive on the left side and have a left before right rule).
@ Turi:
No, the right-hand rule is in effect here–it’s just that a lot of people are idiots. Or maybe too polite….
@Turi1337,
In the video linked in @1, John Prine identifies the fundamental flaw in the four-way stop.
Hell, people around here don’t even know how to do roundabouts, much less four-way stops. I have had people stop in the middle of the damn roundabout because there was someone at the leg they were approaching.
I do hate the “interesting” remark. When I say “interesting” I mean “that statement was of interest to me”. If I don’t want to continue the conversation, I’ll say “huh”.
We do have some pretty awesome museums, libraries, parks, and trails.
Thanks for explanations @4 and @5 :)
Too barbaric.
“We only get one life. Wasting someone’s time is the subtlest form of murder.” -Lindy West
From the sound of it, Minnesotans sit atop mountains of very subtle skulls.
Aren’t you implicitly ignoring those years you spent at Temple in Philly? You should stand for bird of prey justice against the Machiavellian machine of sideline videotapes, deflated footballs, deceptive offensive substitutions, and faked hand injuries. It is possible Belichick has developed a remote transcranial magnetic mind disrupter that discombobulates opposing players via his specially crafted pushbutton remote. The Eagles hopefully incorporate effective countermeasures into their helmets.
Much worse than I assumed:
https://chicago.suntimes.com/sports/fans-blaming-the-patriots-belichick-and-brady-for-eagles-players-being-sick/
We’ve gone from remote mind manipulation to biological warfare.
But this is proof of Belichick mindray:
https://youtu.be/QGOthgcFAe0
Try as much as you want, but you’ll still never beat Portland when it comes to passive-aggressive four way stops: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8aIfarMPmPQ
When I was in USA and have seen 4 ways STOP for the first time, I laughed myself silly. When I first saw two drivers stop there and wave at each other like windmill I nearly concussed myself with facepalm. “Right before left” is such a simple rule to follow, yet so incomprehensibly complicated for ‘muricans.
Last summer I was walking through a mall parking lot near Seattle. Between me and my destination there were two cars trying to back out of spaces opposite one another and another two cars, also opposite one another, looking for spaces. They were either waiting for the parked cars to leave or just trying to let them out.
So, same problem as the four way stop. No one would make the first damn move. And I didn’t want to be walking through this shit when someone finally got up the nerve to go and forgot to check for pedestrians. So finally, I just yell at the top of my lungs, “RED CAR, GO! YOU ARE FIRST!”
It not only worked, the driver of the red car thanked me as she backed out of her space.
I’m in Canada and even I can’t wait for this Concussion Bowl nonsense to be over with for the year.
This is all far too polite and considerate for me.
/England
Nothing about the Philly fans cutting the blood eagle on the Pats fans? I am disappoint….