You wanted the evil cat? You can have her!

I was just busily transcribing all of the scores from the final exam onto the grading site, when Evil Cat decided that prowling my desk was exactly the right thing to do, and she flung all of the papers in my tidy stack into a scattered mess on the floor.

I got my revenge, though. She’s usually pretty cunning about avoiding photography — probably to make it difficult to identify her in line-ups, or to get her photo on wanted posters — but for once I acted quickly while she was gloating atop my wrecked work, and got a closeup.


So now you know. Beware. If you see her, contact the FBI, Interpol, and Homeland Security.


  1. wzrd1 says

    You’re fortunate. Our cat likes to wait until I have the bills sorted and stacked. He then takes a flying leap onto the papers and skates across the room on them, spreading the stack from one end of the room to the other.

  2. Ogvorbis: A bear of very little brains. says

    My high school English composition teacher had a large Persian cat. Who, on one occasion, decided that the piles of papers — term papers, to be precise — looked a little bit too much like a litter box to pass up. Luckily, not my class. Luckily, this was back before the days of word processors (I think I was the only one my senior year who did a term paper on a computer) so they were either hand written or hand typed and another copy could not be ‘printed out’ at the push of a button.

  3. davidnangle says

    That baleful eye looks more like it should be gracing the cover of a Peter Benchley novel.

  4. Becca Stareyes says

    My cat thinks my home desk lamp is the best source of warmth in the house, so of course he wants to sleep under it while I’m at my desk trying to use it to see what I’m doing.

  5. arkhilokhos says

    My cat thinks *I’m* the best source of warmth in the house, so she wants to sleep on me constantly, preferably in the middle of my chest or on my upper left chest while I lie on my back. I’ve been trying to explain to her for over 22(!) years now that this interferes with my ability to read or watch TV, but so far no luck.

  6. Gregory Greenwood says

    You wanted the evil cat? You can have her!

    Yeah – you know no one is buying that, right PZ? It is obvious to everyone that your cat is far, far worse than merely evil; she is cute and adorable. Indeed, so cute and adorable that she has sunk her figurative claws into your heart to such a degree that you secretly find her antics endearing, and only grumble about them to keep up appearances and maintain your rep as a poopyhead.

    You love the little mouse serial killer, even if you don’t want to admit it…

  7. Akira MacKenzie says

    She’s not evil. She’s just making sure gravity still works!

    At least that’s what my keep tells me when he pushes something of a table.

  8. magistramarla says

    We woke up a couple of mornings ago to find that the two girls were covered in soot. Surprisingly, we also found that the 14 year old boy also had dirty feet. The only clean cat was my husband’s 11 year old spoiled boy, who is usually the leader when it comes to trouble. The three trouble-makers had managed to open the glass door to the fireplace, and the girls had rolled in the soot, ala 101 Dalmatians.
    We gained the newest kitten this summer, when she was found hanging by a front paw in the fence at our community pool. When she was brought to the lifeguards, our grandson, one of the lifeguards, said “My Grandma can help her!”
    She was recently spayed and her right front leg was amputated at the same time. Being a tripod has not slowed her down at all, and she can manage to get into all kinds of trouble with our 18 month old girl cat.
    Life is a little crazy in our house with four cats. My German Shepherd is very, very patient with them.

  9. PDX_Greg says

    PZ, as you are a man of science. I am surprised to have to explain this to you, but here goes: one does not need a cat to scatter papers onto the floor when one possesses a quadcopter drone. Any altitude below 2 meters above the desk surface will prove 100% effective. Note that the noise of the drone is usually sufficient to scatter any cats in the room as well.

  10. tmink128 says

    It’s a tremendous honor to earn the trust and respect of a cat. I cohabitate with three of them (no one owns cats). It’s not easy to become part of a cat’s family

  11. davidc1 says

    Hi Doc ,i have 4 of the sods ,i am getting over shingles on my face and head ,i was lying on my bed and one of my kittens thought it a great idea to use the top of my head as a scratching post.

  12. davidc1 says

    Also the little sods bring live mice inside and lets them escape .I have got 2 humane mouse traps baited with peanut butter on standby .

  13. davidc1 says

    Another also ,i have only managed to read 10 books this year ,every time i settle down with a book one of them appears and demands attention.

  14. shouldbeworking says

    One of my daughter’s cats decided that a lab I was marking would make an excellent source of dietary fibre. I had to tell the student that the cat ate his homework.

  15. Mobius says

    Obviously your cat is giving you the evil eye. You need to immediately seek the help of a certified psychic.

  16. blf says

    The mildly deranged penguin offers cat flying lessons, featuring trebuchet-assisted takeoffs with a choice of landings: Mediterranean Sea, sandy beach (kraken and sundrying long pigs only during season), rocky beach, sharp rocks, forested hills, fields of various aggressive vegetables (including peas at no extra charge), and random (all of the above plus villages, villagers, yachts, and anything else she can aim at).