This year, Skepticon is hosting a prom on Saturday night — there will be dancing and music, and all that usual stuff. In addition, they’re selling off tickets to dance with various speakers, so if you’d like a slow dance with Matt Dillahunty, pay up $20 to get on his dance card, or if you want a fast dance with Surly Amy, cough up $10.
It’s a nice fundraising idea. But you may be wondering why I am not on the roster of eligible dancers.
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I don’t dance.
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If I did dance, it would be with my wife, who will be there with me.
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If anyone tried to part me from Mary, I would cry and make an embarrassing spectacle of myself.
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Mary is a wild animal who would not take kindly to strangers getting between her and her man. You really don’t want an ugly scene.
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Somebody has to play the role of the dried-up old chaperone, and that’s me.
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I’m giving the last talk of the day, immediately before the prom. I suspect no one will be at my talk, because they’re all off primping and preparing for the really interesting event of the night, so I’ll be sullen and resentful.
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The real reason: I remember high school dances. It would be so humiliating to be sitting there with no dance requests while all the pretty people get up and dance, dance, dance. Urgh, argh, I’m having ugly flashbacks just thinking about it.
So I’ll be there, but I’ll be holding down a table with a cup of punch in my hand. You can join me and we can have a pleasant conversation — maybe I can recap the talk no one will have listened to. Or we can just sit and make cruel, cutting remarks about the beautiful people who are dancing.
So sad. I’m starting to tear up.
Hope people have fun at this! Was looking forward to it, then a birthday party came up.
“Or we can just sit and make cruel, cutting remarks about the beautiful people who are dancing.”
Ha Ha. I do like you PZ.
P.S. Coming from a reserved Brit,that’s pretty effusive.
Aaaaargh no fair no fair no /fair/, why does this have to happen in the Skepticon /after/ the one I was able to attend?
There is so much pouting and sulking going on here, you have no idea.
They’re your priiiiiivate dancers… their dances are funny… cause they’re only wearing one shoe…
Can we dance with Mary, then?
HEY!!!!
What is this???
$20.00 to dance with Matt, but only $10 with Amy?????
Male Chauvinism if I ever saw it…..
You’re making me wish I could be there (eh, wrong continent). But psha! If I can’t dance with PZ I shan’t dance with anybody ::flings end of scarf over shoulder dramatically::
jstackpo, fast dances are $10, slow dances are $20.
You can dance if you want to. You can leave PZ behind. Cause PZ don’t dance, and if he don’t dance, well he’s Professor Poopyhead…
;)
If I can’t dance, I don’t want to be part of your evolution. (Actually, I can’t dance BECAUSE of evolution. I come from a long line of Catholics who have been selectively breeding a sense of rhythm out of their members for decades.)
All their members, or just the legs’nfeet?
Too right, UnknownEric. We wrong-continenters will just have to paint our respective neighbourhoods red instead.
PZed’s not your pirate dancer, a dancer for booty,
He won’t do what you want him to
PZed’s not your pirate dancer, a dancer for booty,
And only a sea shanty will do
PZ,
If you don’t want to dance, why not have a “critique” card or somesuch? $10 to listen to an idea and give two points of feedback, $20 to listen and give three points, plus constructive feedback? Or $5 to listen for five minutes and just go “ah, ok” and “mmm-hmm”, with each “quite true” an additional $1 (h/t to Terry Pratchett)?
shikko #14 has a good plan.
Kinda like Lucy’s Psychiatric booth.
If I needed any more proof that the American school system is evil… prom. *shudder*