Friday Cephalopod: Black Friday

Vampyroteuthis would like you to know that it is forgivable that you visit Walmart or any of the other greedy big box stores today in search of bargains; however, the retailers who exploit their workers and gin up scarcity and treat the desperate poor as targets are going to someday find themselves dying cold, dark, hypoxic deaths, and the grim clammy bleak squid of their conscience will rise up to drag them down into oblivion. Live humanely while you can. They wait.


  1. borax says

    There is a part of me that wants to crash the local Walmart and hurl squid while yelling “Pay your employees”. The part of me that would have to go to court has better sense.

  2. says

    I have never shopped on black friday. But this year I see less of a protest from the employees, unlike the last year. If the shops want to be open as much as they want, it is up to them and I do not think that the anyone ought to dictate terms to them. Then again, oversight is required because greed is something that is difficult to resist… and without the oversight, some of these ‘marts’ will employ deploy slaves to advance their profits.

  3. tbtabby says

    Against my better judgement, I stopped by Target today to pick up a few things I needed….and it was a lot more orderly than I was expecting. True, it was more crowded than usual, especially around the electronics and toys, but there was still plenty of elbowroom, and since most of the shoppers were feeding the Christmas beast, the grocery aisles (my actual destination) were clear. I was still a little nervous, though, worrying that the rush could start at any minute and wanting to get done as quickly as possible. I kept getting the impression of being on a mountain pass and wondering if the pebbles bouncing down from above were just my imagination. I was fortunate that my local Target’s shoppers weren’t as bad as the person responsible for this, or these obsessed psychos.

  4. carlie says

    That is the only thing I’ll give Walmart credit for, that they finally realized how bad the pr was from store stampedes and have done a lot to keep that from happening again. Staggered deal rollouts, guarantees of getting a sale item or raincheck for it, line armbands, online matching sales, and the extension of time into Thursday evening seem to have helped a lot. When I drove by it this morning, the parking lot was less crowded than even usual for a Friday. I don’t know how bad it was last night, but it had to be at least spread out more.

  5. rpjohnston says

    Starting at 8 pm yesterday helped quell the hordes for my Target, I think. I was working in the backroom last year so I can’t really compare, but my job was mostly leisurely this year. I worked the 4 am to 12:30 shift so most of what I needed to get done actually was one before guests woke up. Tonight’s shift will probably be terrible, though, since I’ll be back to my regular job in logistics.

  6. Azuma Hazuki says

    If I weren’t basically alone in the world I might have been more upset about working Thanksgiving and today. Losing everything is oddly freeing, sometimes. Even in the idiot rush of greed and obsession that is Black Friday, one can still bond with others.