Yell at ’em until they believe!

Wow. Glenn Beck really is an authoritarian tool. Watch this clip; he’s ranting at the microphone at children, insisting that they must learn that their rights come from god.

Push them. Well, they’re going to cry, I’ll hurt their feelings. PUSH ‘EM!, because if you don’t do it now, it’s going to be much worse when they’re pushed and they’re shoved and they’re shot. Push them! Teach them! The need to know the truth and the need to be pushed up against the wall once in a while so they know they can defend themselves. They know they can survive. They don’t run around like little girls crying at the drop of a hat. Push them!

You’ll be relieved to know that his tirade is directed only at little boys. You little girls out there are free to laugh at his magic god and recognize that your rights represent privileges and responsibilities conferred by your fellow human beings.

And I hope that the rest of you all see that bullying kids into guilt is also a bad thing. You don’t want to be like Glenn Beck, do you?


  1. unclefrogy says

    there is no way I am going to listen to that man deliberately!

    for me it was always good cop and bad cop in my entire experience of church. Some preached scarey anger and danger and some preached duty and love of god. Maybe some gods love but it could never completely counter the mean bad cop preaching.
    uncle frogy

  2. mikeyb says

    Push’em over the debt limit, so we can start to feel what it’s like livin’ in the next great depression, then maybe Jesus will come.

  3. tuibguy says

    So, if I push my son he will know that he can survive being shot? I am missing something here. Is there a way to make his skin kevlar by yelling at him?

  4. says


    Is there a way to make his skin kevlar by yelling at him?

    No, no. By traumatizing him emotionally and mentally, he’ll build up an amazing web of protective scars! It will work, really truly, but only if you get serious about abusing the shit out of him.

  5. F [is for failure to emerge] says

    I think the evidence shows that little boys cry just like little boys. Dude has some serious denial going on there. Humans cry about things. It happens. Maybe even if they’re shot.

  6. anuran says

    No One writes:

    Fuck you Glenn Beck… *asshole*

    Sorry, but I wouldn’t screw him with a borrowed shmekele

  7. sundiver says

    Wait a minute, isn’t this the same blowhard who gets all snivelly and whiny about things that upset him? Wonder how long he could take the abuse he so willingly advises others to dish out? Beck wouldn’t know truth if it bit him on the ass. Then again, maybe truth wouldn’t want to get too close to that festering pile of camel snot and that’s why the poltroon remains so abysmally ignorant.

  8. MJP says

    In this country, the people who yell the most about “liberty” are usually the most authoritarian.

  9. bargearse says

    So according to Glenn Beck assaulting your kids is all AOK as long as you’re doing it for the little tykes’ own good. Only the boys though. I shudder to think what sort of advice he’d give on parenting girls.

  10. jaggington says

    Push your children around, yell at them, to show them that they have no rights other than those afforded to them by the all loving, all forgiving, compassionate god?

    God loves you and I’m going to knock you around until you understand this.

  11. ludicrous says

    What does the research say? Were Glenn Beck and his ilk all beaten and pushed around as kids? Or did some get that way on their own?

  12. says

    @ ludicrous

    The logical answer to your question, is that his outburst is a statement that he was abused as a child.

    (If he has become as he is without suffering what he suggests, why would he suggest it – rather than suggest a non-abusive upbringing?)

  13. stevem says

    What sickens me, even worse than this attitude of his, is that he has an audience. That there are people who actually listen to him and take his advice. And not just us, who listen to him and laugh AT him, but so many buffoons who laugh WITH him and follow his “teachings”. The fact that he has an audience and gets paid to shill his brain-warp is what sickens me. He can be as brain-warped as he can be, that doesn’t bother me (well, maybe a little) but that other people appreciate his addled babblings, boggles my mind.

  14. says

    Shorter version, for those who do not want to watch the video: “Beat your kids, hard, until they vigorously profess whatever nonsense you want them to profess. Then beat them again to make sure the lesson sticks. Repeat often.”

    Because, apparently, the best way to brainwash children is to torture them into conformity. Which sheds a very uncomfortable light into Beck’s own devotion to the Mormon Church.

  15. says

    Don’t worry. Beck has apparently threatened to move to Canada. Canada, with its government run medicine, and stricter gun control, and other “commie” stuff. I suspect his child rearing methods would be more likely to get him in trouble up here as well.

  16. stillacrazycanuck says


    The Supreme Court of Canada has ruled strongly against assaulting children. For example, using ANY object at all constitutes criminal assault. The days of using a belt, or a spatula/wooden spoon, etc are (in theory) behind us.

    Of course, most abuse probably happens behind closed doors and/or in families where no-one dares report the abuse. However, I think our CRTC would have some very strong things to say of any broadcaster dared air Beck’s child-abuse advocacy.

  17. w00dview says


    In this country, the people who yell the most about “liberty” are usually the most authoritarian.

    QFMFT. The American Right have utterly stamped out and strangled the true meaning of the word liberty where now it is simply a meaningless, feel good soundbite of a term. It is exactly the same thing that they have done with the word “family values”. Without newspeak, they would be nowhere near as effective as they are.

  18. coffeehound says

    @ 17,

    Because, apparently, the best way to brainwash children is to torture them into conformity.

    Well yeah, to grow up to fight the conformity of socialism. Or something.

  19. says


    No, the most disturbing thing about that clip is a man with a large amount of influence advocating beating children.

  20. Ogvorbis: Apologies Available for All! says

    This is not all that unusual. Reminds me of many of the families I knew out in Western Maryland back in the 1980s.

    When I was in high school, I had some odd friends. Actually, considering how odd I was (and still am), maybe they were pretty normal compared to me. One of my friends was a kid with whom I carpooled my senior year while taking calculus (the class started an hour before regular classes).

    His family belonged to an independent Bible church (which, I guess, differentiates it from those independent “Gone With the Wind” churches). I picked him up early one morning, and I remember walking into the kitchen (I had been there enough that I was no longer company and, according to his mother, I no longer needed to knock) and being quite surprised. A group of a half-dozen adults sat in a semi-circle around his sister; his little sister sat, exhausted, in the middle. Around her, scattered on the floor, were her clothing — trousers, dresses, skirts, underwear, bras — books, albums, her life. Two of the men continued to talk at her as I stood, speechless, in the doorway. My buddy ran through the kitchen, grabbed me, and said, “Let’s go.”

    As we settled into VW Microbus, I turned to him and asked, “What the hell was that all about?”

    “Mom found a Michael Jackson album in her room. She told the church and I guess they’re trying to save her,” he answered.

    “Why didn’t you stop it?” I asked.

    “Are you kidding? My room is full of D&D books, Pink Floyd albums. Do you think I want that happening to me?”

    They had arrived the previous day, after church. They had been churching her the entire night. I guess they figured they would just yell at her until she believed the right thing. Whatever the hell that actually was. Is.

  21. ck says

    Daz wrote:

    So an adult beating the shit out of a child is “teaching them to defend themselves.”


    Yep. Push someone around long enough like that and you’ll probably find a large number of them either take a knife to themselves, or to their abuser. If they gut their abuser, then it proves that they’re weak and are unwilling to take responsibility for their life. If they kill themselves, it proves they’re weak and would never have survived in the real world. If they just take it, it proves they’re weak and you need to push them around harder next time.