Maybe I was too quick to dismiss Branson’s scheme. It turns out that Alex Jones has a dating page. I’m thinking perfect partnership!
Modify previous post. You board the plane to find it full of leering, lecherous conspiracy theorists.
I may have nightmares tonight.
How would they know if it isn’t a false flag operation by the Ancient Reptillian Illuminati FEMA New World Order Liberal Fascist Federal Reserve Aliens and they aren’t going to crash the plane and kill all the people who know the truth? Huh? Huh?
Hmmm, PZ claims there will be no marching morons.
I wouldn’t stretch that point too far though.
Can you imagine what would happen if two Alex Jones fans got married….and reproduced? I don’t imagine very many institutional review boards would allow an experiment like that. There are some things humans don’t need to know.
It reminds me of the old, discredited “genetic scapegoat” theory for the benefit of sexual reproduction. (IIRC, it roughly states that by mixing genomes, sex eventually produces a “genetic scapegoat” in which many deleterious genes get combined together, which then gets “crucified” by natural selection, thus eliminating lots of deleterious genes in one fell swoop).
Imagine a recombination of all the most ludicrous conspiracy theories in one individual, who then goes and walks into a speeding bus because he is convinced that red lights are part of some vast government conspiracy, thus eliminating many conspiracy theories from the population in one shot!
(Well, the theory is discredited….)
Speaking of “marching morons” though, a degree of intellect is actually required for conspiracy theories. It takes a fairly agile brain to follow and keep together all the byzantine threads that most conspiracy theories are woven from. “Too dumb to fool” is a trope for good reason, after all.
GIGO.
I don’t understand how A leads to B. It’s all just bizarre talk to me.
#3
” thus eliminating many conspiracy theories from the population in one shot!”
Be careful there – if too many conspiracy theories get eliminated, people at bars will be reduced to only talking about sports!
It’s creepy, but at least passengers can opt out of receiving invitations.
Alot of freethinkers and skeptics come from families that believe in all kinds of weird stuff. They are also not limited to the unintelligent or uneducated. I’m reminded of the Toynbee phenomenon creator who was very creative and clever in his way while being a paranoid kook. There is also a local professor who is sure aliens built the pyramids.The unibomber was bright too. Being wrong while being vigilantly dedicated to maintaining your beliefs is not something intellect alone can save you from. There are cultural and emotional aspects to things like belief in the power of prayer, UFO abduction cover-ups, racism, sexism, etc. Whatever it is that makes the human brain such a fallible organ, I’m afraid we all have it. No one is born immune.
The NFL pulled the strings behind the scenes to get Wes Welker signed in Denver because they want to run with the “Peyton Manning wins another Superbowl after coming back from horrific neck injury” feel good storyline….
Alex Jones has a dating service? But there’s already a dating service for people like this. It’s called their family tree. ಠ_ಠ
Being intelligent often means you can construct better self-rationalizations for your false beliefs, and compartmentalize them out of other activities more easily. It may also make you less likely to listen to opposing viewpoints because you think of yourself as the “smart guy” in the room.
Brilliant.
+1
Let us hope membership includes a free visit to the spay/neuter clinic
FEMA? The fuck? They clearly don’t mean the governmental agency, and my Google searching hasn’t yet turned up anything useful. I doubt it is…
FEMA Federal Emergency Management Agency (US government)
FEMA Foreign Exchange Management Act (India)
FEMA Farm Equipment Manufacturers Association
FEMA Federation of European Motorcyclists Association
FEMA Flavor and Extract Manufacturer’s Association
FEMA Fire Equipment Manufacturers’ Association, Inc.
FEMA Failure Effects & Mode Analysis
FEMA Federation Europeenne du Modelisme Automobile
FEMA Facilities Equipment Maintenance Applications
HMMM.
. . . or maybe they DO mean the governmental agency? The hell?
Eristae:
You got it. The first time I heard the FEMA conspiracies was just after Hurrican Katrina and New Orleans flooded. Basically, they believe that FEMA is a front: if a natural disaster strikes, the government will swoop you up and put you into “FEMA re-education” camps where they will brainwash you into believing [insert liberal boogeyman of the day here]. (I think the conspiracy theories sprang out of the reports of black mold and other assorted grossnesses that were found in the FEMA trailers that were given to victims of Hurricane Katrina.)
One day you will wake up in a concentration camp and be surprised.
FEMA runs the Gulag in the USA. They are in charge of the concentration camps.
Right now there aren’t too many people in them. But any time the government wants, they can herd millions of people into them. They are there and waiting.
Lunatic fringers spend vast amount of time worrying about just when and why they will be picked up by FEMA and taken away.
How did Ayn Rand and Nathan Branden meet without this site?
Actually, I ought not to have posted that. Rand and Branden had many grotesque beliefs, but properly speaking, they were not conspiracy theorists.
My mom believes that the rapture is happening in her lifetime, and loved to speak in tongues whilst cleaning house. My brother is a libertarian. My dad thinks lawn mowing jobs are only for boys (cut to my sad 11 year old entrepreneurial self. Dad gave my brother the job I had gone out and gotten). So yeah, it’s not all about what your parents believe, in my own experience. My parents credit my “failure”(lack of belief) to “too much freedom”. Which is patently silly, considering how sheltered I was. I mean, I totally believed that T Rex ate watermelons.
Paradox –
why does Allan West advertise on this page.
Doesn’t seem to fit his audience. Does he know what this blog is about?
Ooh, ooh, what Raven said. I heard they were phobic of trains. Trains are used to transport the prisoners, you see. Just like the jews! Not the jews that secretly control the one world government, mind you. The good ones, that all got killed because they fell out of favor with the secret masters. Or something.
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Yakizus- That would’ve been pretty fun if it was true. Maybe they pulled the melons into their mouths with prehensile tongues like the one in the Jurassic Park book, or Yoshi…
Does anyone remember the Steve Jackson game “Illuminati”? I would pay money to see people from that group playing the game.
madarab @24 I not only remember Illuminati, but I played it a few times. I even won once. Hail Discordia!
As for Alex Jones : He probably thinks Illuminati is a piece of disinformation put out by *them* to discredit sound evidence-free theories.
__________________________
Speaking of conspiracy theories: I wonder what the 9/11 troofers will make of the piece of landing gear found in NYC the other day. How’re they going to fit that one into their conspiracy matrix ?
DLC:
It was put there by the lizard people so the sheeple can’t figure out the really real truth. Duh.
Rachel Maddow produced an hilarious segment on Infowars, Alex Jones and Glenn Beck. She covers Inforwars pickup line. “Have we met somewhere before? No, seriously, who sent you?”
Excerpts from the Alex Jones dating site are shown: “I live in FEMA region 9.”
http://www.nbcnews.com/id/26315908/#51683482
Even conspiracy theorists need love.
If you’re inclined in a conspiratorial direction, being smart just means you can come up with more elaborate theories with more elaborate rationalizations for how it all works. My mother’s family is both exceptionally bright, and prone to Alzheimer’s with a distinct paranoia component. My mother has believed some truly innovative things about the connections between the Zodiac killer, the Unabomber and the anthrax letters for years now (and even has her own special decoding of the Zodiac ciphers to prove her theory), while her little brother, my uncle, has started popping up on some right-wing conspiracy sites just recently going on at length about how the Illuminati are controlling our teenagers through pop-music lyrics.
I’m really looking forward* to what weird things I’m going to believe about the world in a few decades.
*Not really – would any of you in Alzheimer’s research please hurry up? I like my mind.
There was this MAD TV sketch spoof of dating site ads called “Lowered Expectations.”
This is what it reminds me of.
They did those sketches on Almost Live, I think, I’m not sure where they came from originally.
Hah. That’s what you want us to believe – so we can’t ever prove you’re working for Mr. Burns (whose eye is on the dollar bills as we all know).
What next? Are you gonna tell us Bielefeld exists?
Yoshi was awesome. ♥