Shopping for baby apparel?

Hoping to start the kid off with a properly snarky elitist attitude? Then shop here. I know what my grandchildren would be wearing, if I had any (and no, that’s not a hint to my kids — I’m in no hurry).


  1. Dick the Damned says

    Hey, if you survive kids, then grandkids are a doddle. (Hint. You make the parents change the little buggers. Well, if you’ve still got any authority over them.)

  2. fastlane says

    Oh man, those are awesome.

    I’m glad I have friends with babies…so I don’t have to.

    (Last year, I got them a jumper with Star Trek font that said “I just boldly went.”)

    I see a couple new ones from this site this year.

  3. ehuitema says

    When I have a child I certainly will get one from here. What a great way to outfit a child!

  4. David Marjanović says

    “Schrödinger’s diaper: isn’t full until you check it” – Week saved! On Monday!!!

  5. alexandra14c says

    Oh those are wonderful!

    I normally hugely object to putting babies and children in clothing that labels them, but those are exactly perfect labels.

    Especially “blank slate”. No picking their personalities for them before they can control their own bowels.

  6. Active Margin says

    Spectacular! I have two friends having babies in the coming weeks, and I was unsure what to pick up for a gift.

    Problem solved. Thank you for this, PZ.

  7. atheistpolitic says

    I think I know what to get my neighbors (3 and 1.5 respectively) for the holidays. The younger one is DEFINITELY getting a “Shrodinger’s Diaper” shirt. The elder… Not sure yet. There are many that might work for him.

  8. jentokulano says

    The 1st one could be written better but man those are awesome. Too bad they weren’t around 20 years ago…

  9. phere says

    Oh my fsm! I thought thinkgeek was bad enough! These are just too cool! Parents are such suckers, sigh – myself included. Hey, at least it’s not amber teething necklaces.

  10. carlie says

    I wish these existed when my kids were little. They would have gotten the “control” and “test” shirts.

  11. rtootie says

    Ive got some other great ideas! You guys can have the rights to them.

    1. “This diaper isnt big enough for both me and RICHARD DAWKINS!”

    2. “OK so maybe PZ MYERS doesnt eat babies–but he damm sure eats something”!

    3. “What do I have to do to get some peace around here? Will somebody get that damm atheist a pacifier!” (you could substitute “atheist” with “liberal”.)

    4. “Daniel, who? But I thought you said that was Santa Clause?”

  12. Moggie says

    I’m thinking some of these would have fairly short-term appeal. How many times would you have to try explaining the Fermat gag to people before you got sick of the whole thing?

  13. nmcc says

    Why don’t we club together and buy a load of these to send to Richard Dawkins and Jerry Coyne to give out to their Hitchens cult members?

    We wouldn’t even have to think up a clever slogan. It could simply say on them: I’M A BIG BABY.

  14. John Morales says


    rtootie/nmcc: you know your trolling is truly feeble when even I can’t be stuffed to diss it.

  15. carlie says

    Moggie – isn’t that the point with t-shirts with sayings on them, to feel smugly superior to anyone who doesn’t get the joke? ;)

    I think the Fermat one is funny even if you don’t know what the equation is – it’s just “hard math”.

  16. nmcc says

    John Morales – Comment 22

    There’s nothing ‘trolling’ about it, mate. Are you seriously telling me that, as a ‘critical thinker’ (I’m assuming that is how you’d describe yourself, for obvious reasons), that you don’t look at Dawkins’s and Coyne’s websites and feel that there’s something deeply, worryingly wrong with what you see there in their adulation of Hitchens? Not a single dissenting comment among many hundreds, if not thousands? Coyne even re-enacting scenes from Hitchens’s life and so on? For gawd sake! Can beatification be far behind?

    And for a man who had the deaths of 10,000s on his conscience, who extolled the benefits of cluster bombs because of the number of people a single bomb could kill, who drank and smoked himself to death, who responded to the news that The Dixie Chicks had criticised Bush with the words ‘Fuck those fat slags’, who frequently criticised other people’s marital situations when he himself left his pregnant wife to shack up with someone else, and so on… and so on…

    I find it sickening. Especially when I consider that if it wasn’t for the fact that Hitchens espoused atheism (very badly, in my view) the now bug-eyed loon and quasi-religious zealot, Dawkins, wouldn’t even give, or have given, him a second thought – alive or dead.

    Incidentally, Coyne even has the lack of self-awareness to post a video of North Koreans mourning the death of Kim Jong Il and asks, indirectly: How can people be so unthinking in their adulation?

  17. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    There’s nothing ‘trolling’ about it, mate.

    Sorry, rtootie was trolling. And you are on the wrong thread for discussing Hitch to, which is also a form of trolling. Take your concern to a Hitch thead.

  18. rtootie says

    John Morales at #22,

    #19 is funny and you know it.

    Something I know about You is that You would have hit back if You had ANYTHING. Why did you even comment at all?

    NovaC at #26

    Thanks for the new word “canard”. Its new to me any way. The cool thing is I will remember what it means because I had to look it up myself.

    Now I have a new word for you: “differentiate.” Think please. How does your criticism apply to my joke? The question is retorickle but I would still love for you to try to answer it.

    Maybe “canard” is a new word for you to.

  19. says

    Retorickle! Best troll ever!

    Also, I’m upset that the softer sciences have such crappy ones. “Blank slate,” really? Also we get the least interesting, most pointless and anal part of linguistics– sentence diagrams. Meh!

  20. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    #19 is funny and you know it.

    Nope, not funny, and not even close. You aren’t funny, except for your lack of cogency and overt egotism. Try silence. That makes you sound intelligent…

  21. janine says

    Fine, rtootie, you find your comments to be fine comedy. I guess I would also if I shared your bias.

    But as it stands, I think you are an idiot. And a sockpuppet.

  22. Crow says

    Awesome. My wife and I are expecting our first child in July and these are right up our alley (we both have BA’s in Philosophy).

    I posted the “My parents are empiricists” bib and even got a ‘like’ out of my super Xian mother-in-law. I’m certain she doesn’t know what empiricism is. She’s just happy she’s getting a grandbaby.

    “I do not think that word means what you think it means.” -Vizzini

  23. rtootie says

    This comment is in refrence to comment #24.

    PZ Myers has tolerated me nicely so far. In some cases my my ignorence speaks for itself and he dont need say nothing at all. I think I now know why my idea that Myers types up most of the atheist testimonies himself is a dumb one. But he does promote free speech and let me talk.

    Its not that @nmcc said any thing about Myers in his comment but for some reason I feel like I need to point out that PZ MYERS was truthfull about some of Hitchens mean words. I think it was called “The Force was Dark in Hitchens” or something like that. Any way I think it would be wrong for me not to say this in his defence because even if I dont think what PZ Myers thinks it dont make him all bad.

  24. rtootie says

    Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls

    Your kind of like these driverless spaceships in an alien movie I saw not long ago. These small ships could attack the soldiers on the ground but they could also fly around the mothership and crash into missles.

    I also notice that your like me and might show up any time. Just pop in and pop out. Like a bunny coming out of a hat only you dont need a hat. The question is do you need a magician?

  25. David Marjanović says

    There’s nothing ‘trolling’ about it, mate. Are you seriously telling me that, as a ‘critical thinker’ (I’m assuming that is how you’d describe yourself, for obvious reasons), that you don’t look at Dawkins’s and Coyne’s websites

    Stop right here. I, for one, don’t look at their websites.

  26. rtootie says

    Janine at #34

    I dont know why but THAT was a sexy ass comment!

    Too bad Im married and women dont go for guys who they think are dumbasses.

    Its official . . . you win.

  27. 'Tis Himself, OM. says


    If #19 is funny then you should be able to explain the humor. Because all I saw in #19 was a conservative asshole being a conservative asshole. Now you may think being a conservative asshole is funny but I doubt you’ll find many people, including most conservatives, who would agree.

  28. janine says

    ‘Tis Himself, millions of people find Rush Limbaugh funny. Attempts at explaining the humor has not made it any more funny for me.

  29. John Morales says



    Its official . . . you win.

    You were never in the game.


    There’s nothing ‘trolling’ about it, mate.

    Specimens like you are no novelty around here, and railing about Dawkins, Coyne and Hitchens cultists on a light post about baby clothes is nothing but trolling.


  30. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    Like a bunny coming out of a hat only you dont need a hat. The question is do you need a magician?

    Like I said, not funny, not even amusing, just stoopid, and there is a difference. Typical of godbots and RWA types.

    I’m an old fart, and have been busy with other things, like a balky hard drive and having film festival.