Unfortunately, one of them is the awful “With God All Things Are Possible”, which has nothing to do with Ohio, or reality, for that matter. Go vote for anything else. For some reason, the motto “40,948 Square Miles” really appealed to my inner Aspie, but you could choose something more conventionally innocuous, like “Beautiful Ohio” (which will make it stand out from all those ugly states), or “The Buckeye State” (it’s the only state that would use that!). Just do your best to spurn the godly choices.
Pharyngula
Evolution, development, and random biological ejaculations from a godless liberal
Good Spaghetti Lord — one of the options is “Ohio — State of Perfect Balance.”
I’m afraid that the God-ly plate will win because all of the secular responses are going to be spread out over too many entries. If you really want us to effect the poll against the religious motto I think you have to have us all vote for the same one.
I agree that “Buckeye State” makes most sense to me. I’m pretty sure it’s either the traditional motto or one of the most traditional.
Well, if I have my way, you can look forward to “Rubber Capital of the World” plates sometime soon.
Had to vote for “Glacier Grooves.” Cause they’re cool, and they either piss off creationists or send them spinning BS explanations for how we had an ice age that lasted a couple of decades or so.
“With God all things are possible” could be considered true so long as “Without God all things are possible” (for certain meanings of “all” and “possible” with both slogans). Best you can say, God doesn’t stop you from doing anything, any more than my garden fairy does.
Glen Davidson
I went with Annie Oakley.
Of course, “With God All Things Are Possible”, because there are no limits to magic, except in the real world, of course.
I met a client on site today who spotted my Darwin tetrapod on the car. He’s a devout Xian. He talked to me about it, & explained how he’d had a revelation which was like the one in Exodus 30 something or other. He had seen the Bible Bogey yadha, yadha yadha….
This guy is no fool – he’s an accountant, & quite wealthy, but how can you have a meaningful conversation with people like that? Off the topic of belief in religion, he’s perfectly rational, & a very pleasantly mannered man.
But going back to the stupid slogan, why don’t the believers ask why the Bible Bogey, (for whom all things are possible), allows all the disease, crop failures, & violence against innocents?
Went with the Toledo Museum of Art. The Redhead studied there for a short period.
Apparently with God a unicorn-powered submarine quadracycle is possible. Or any of Escher’s building interiors. Or a pine bark beetle choir singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I don’t suppose they’d go for “Heart of the rust belt” would they?
Being Australian I’m not familiar enough with any individual US state to pick something appropriate, so I went with “Home of Astronauts”. I had to worry about the inclusion of “Perry’s Victory”.
I went with Glacier Grooves, ’cause it’s groovy.
BTW, you can vote ten times a day per IP address, unless you’ve got a way around that. The final design will be a background made up of multiple phrases, so lots of them have to be ahead of the god one to keep it off the plate. So go and vote for ten different ones every day at work, ten more at home, ten at the coffee shop, and don’t just vote for one repeatedly. Although rubber capital of the world does have a nice ring to it. Please, don’t let them put god on my next license plate!
“Ohio. It exists.”
Ha! I somehow got on a teaparty e-mail list a few months ago and just got an e-mail about this encouraging me to vote for “with god all things are possible” so I was coming here to ask you to post this! =) Thanks for helping us not have to pay for that hideous message to be printed on our plates.
Hey, let’s all go with Sastra’s suggestion. “Buckeye State”
I liked “Home of Astronauts”, but knowing that I can vote 10 times a day allows for lots of good non-godly choices.
A bit of websearching indicates that Ohio adopted that silly yaweh-motto back in 1959. How depressing. Has delusional behavior not improved any since ?
In order to push it off the options many more people will need to vote for many different options, not just one. If you vote for the same one 10 times, the god one isn’t that much closer to falling off the bottom. We will all need to vote for different ones. I’m afraid it’s rigged in favor of getting the god one in. But then again, this is the Internet…all things are possible.
There’s no option for “I once had a week-long romance with someone from Mason (albeit while we were in Florida) so Ohio makes me fondly remember being seventeen”.
Took me four submissions to fit that all in the “What Does Ohio Mean To You” box.
What about “Round on the ends, high in the middle” ?
“Rubber Capital of the World”
I don’t know why they say this, because the best selling brand of condoms, Trojans, are made in New Jersey.
How about, “With God all things are permitted.”
I went with the .com option because I’m an internet programmer by trade.
Astronauts!
When you vote in the poll, you are shown a sample Ohio plate with the tag number AAA0000. Your choice of mottos appears below the number.
Therefore I was compelled to return to the selection page and enter my vote for “Werewolves of London”.
(Sadly, that was not displayed, or I’d be linking to a screen cap here.)
There’s no Trader Vic’s in Ohio.
Ooh, ooh! I’ve got it!
“Four Dead”
Brownian gets +1 for the Crosby, Stills, Nash and possibly Young citation.
It may sound strange, but “With God All Things Are Possible” is logically correct:
p and non p implies q, whatever q is. That is just the main effect of contradictions: Assuming them allows to infer everything.
The quoted motto seems to be of that type ;-)
(Naturally this includes the possibility of the existence and non existence of the Flying Spaghetti Monster simultaneously – just as it should be.)
When I saw the What does Ohio mean to you option at the bottom my reflex response was “Not much”. I say that having lived in Ohio for 36 of the last 38.5 years. Ohio had an ad campaign for a number of years, I think through most of the 90’s where the slogan was “The Heart of it All”. The way this state’s been run over the last couple of decades I’d say we’re heading for a massive coronary.
“With fuckin god all things are fuckin possible” is the state motto. Dumbest ass state motto ever.
I voted for Serpent Mound because it’s a reminder of when Ohio was still cool, back when the mound builders built it. Also, it’s got serpent in it. With serpent mounds all things are possible.
I went with “Serpent Mound”. ‘Cuz it sounds dirty.
Considering the song was written by Neil Young, I should remove “possibly” from my post #25.
I thought Brownian was referring to Kent State.
I had to write in “Home of the Rock N’ Roll Hall of Fame”.
I still think New Hampshire has the best: Live Free or Die
He was. He was also referring to the CSB&Y song “Ohio”.
With God All Things Are Possible*
*Unless He doesn’t want it to be possible. For some reason what He wants always corresponds to whatever is possible without God.
With God All Things Are Possible*
*But don’t jump off a tall building without a parachute, because we don’t really mean it.
With God All Things Are Possible*
*”All Things” refers to the set of things which really are possible and does not include anything impossible.
I live in the neighboring state if Indiana, and we have gov’t issued plates that say “In God we Trust” on them. It is so obnoxious, and my understanding is that the plates cleared criticisms because a court decided that it was OK because the plates don’t name which god. Like we don’t know which fucking gawd you pious cretins are referring to. They’re popular too, I can’t stop at a light without being behind some ass that thinks it’s necessary to advertise their disconnect with reality to everyone else.
Don’t do it Ohio. Keep your BMV out of the religion-promoting business.
“With God, All Things Are Possibly”
I suppose if you wanna get technical about it, I was referring to the song that refers to Kent State.
Of course, it’s the Zevon that’s going through my head right now.
As I entered my choice I realized one was missing – Dumb. As a outsider I’m influencing Ohio’s plate. Weird. I guess if God helps you then Minnesotans should determine your plate motto.
Brownian rightly noted:
There is, however, a London.
I had a TA from New Hampshire who was pleased that I knew that motto. (Which I know thanks to Bill Bryson’s “I’m a Stranger Here Myself”, and now New Hampshire and “strange and pugnacious” are forever linked in my brain.)
Oh, everybody’s got a London these days.
mikedillon #36 wrote:
It doesn’t matter to me which “God” they might or might not be referring to. The fact is that they’re stating that US citizenship is predicated on believing in (and trusting in) God. Any God. We’re sooo tolerant and open and inclusive and united together.
Unless you’re an atheist. Then ‘you’ are not part of “We.” Singled out and stigmatized.
So-called “Ceremonial Deism” is a load of dingos kidneys. It’s only ‘ceremonial’ if it refers to something which is strictly a matter of ceremony or habit and considered symbolic — like Cupid or the Goddess of Liberty. My understanding is that there are actually quit a few people who believe in “God.” Ceremonial my ass.
I like “The heart of it all.” Because Ohio is vaguely heart-shaped, and also in the midwest.
I appreciated the suggestion “Woody Hayes”, but prefer a longer version:
I went with Wright Brothers (Air Force!), then Iroquois for Beautiful River. I’ve got some Indian blood in my family tree, and my tribe was one of the Nations of the Iroquois. After that, Edison, because my great grandfather knew him well.
Had to look up Trillium; at first I thought it might be some kind of mineral. Perhaps from the planet Trill (DS9 and the Dax symbiote)?
I remember years ago when I lived in Iowa and there was a lot of discussion on which motto to put on the state license plates. One of the top contenders was “IOWA — A State of Minds.”
Cooler heads prevailed, I think, but I don’t remember what was chosen anymore. (It wasn’t “Idiots Out Wandering Around” — I’d remember that.)
I thought since it’s for a license plate, the traffic related one would be appropriate…so I voted for “1st Traffic Light”.
But with the ’10 times a day’ thing…I can see voting for some of the others…
–W. H. Heydt
Old Used Programmer
Unfortunately, not only has that not been true since the late ’70s, it also was only one Ohio city – Akron – where I still (unfortunately) live. It’s ludicrous, quite frankly, that “Rubber Capital of the World” was one of the choices.
I went with
‘cos holy cow, how relevant is that? Plus, that slogan is unassuming and kind of milquetoast, just like Ohio.
jasonmartin:
No.
Every time I see a NH plate* I’ve got to brace myself ‘cos I know, I just know, that the world’s shittiest driver is behind the wheel. New Hampshirers may enjoy livin’ free and dyin’, but I wish they wouldn’t try to take the rest of us with ’em.
*I live in upstate NY, so I see them pretty often, especially down in the Catskills.
I have a sudden craving for a Pina Colada.
*Because God as defined by any religion you choose is an impossible creature, so if she/he/it/they really did exist, then the impossible would be possible.
As a native of Ohio, I had to submit a new one, which I expect will soon be leading all the others:
“Round On Both Ends, And Hi In The Middle” (which, for the less literally minded among you, refers to the shape of the word “Ohio” itself, and is a bad joke all Ohioans are subjected to at some point).
What if a ton of people wrote in “With Krishna all things are possible” or “In Perkunas We Trust”?
Back when I lived in Oklahoma, the plates said “Oklahoma is OK.” That wasn’t because of a poll, though. It was because nobody at the License Bureau knew how to spell “mediocre.”
We can write something in. We should all write in “In reason all things are possible.” Let’s see how the religious like them apples.
I was tempted by “Serpent Mound” because both serpents and archaeology are wonderful things, and also tempted by “Rubber Capital of the World” as amusingly prophylactic, but I had to choose “1st Traffic Light” because the image of drivers fuming at a red light while the car ahead celebrates that invention is too deliciously ironic.
“With God All Things Are Possible”
It should be changed to “With God Everything Is Permitted.”
I voted Wright Brothers, but I’m going back and voting again for Rubber Capitol Of The World.
In terms of actually voting something up over teh Gawd-could-do-it, I’d suggest “Buckeye State”, as it is well-known (to Ohioans) and an old stand-by.
Get the fuck out. You heard me, Ohio.
Some of the ideas are neat for values of “less stupid things to put on a license plate if you must”, but many are incredibly local. “West Side Market”? People from Hocking to Licking will be wondering why the hell they are in the West Side Market state. Appalachian Plateau is still provincial on a larger scale, and also less provincial in that it has a life outside Ohio.
We should. That, or “The River Burns”.
Yeah, just about.
There damn well should be.
Historical, and possibly timely. Keep watching the Police State v. Occupy.
Ohio has a habit of not listening to reason. Or bad examples.
It certainly is. Ohio – get back to the salt mines.
Always a good choice. Also, Ohio – hello in Japanese. (Yeah, it’s a slight stretch.)
“Ohio, because flat is the new black.”
Cosmic Snark:
Also, the “1st electric light bulb” bit just isn’t true. Sorry, Ohio, the Brits beat you to patenting the light bulb.
Since we like to talk about Hitler here, I chose Jesse Owens, the black athlete who embarrassed him.
I went with 17th State, largely because, well, who really cares when a state joined the union?
Well, more accurately who cares what order states came in…
Obviously the statehood of some states was particularly contentious and of historical import, but… Ah, hell, you all know what I mean.
If you don’t vote for “Rubber Capital of the World,” then you have no SOLE.
Also, you have no Halibut. Or Grouper!
Had to go for Wright-Patterson AFB. It was a really decent place to be stationed for four years. The O’Club has one of the best bars in the AF, and the fitness center has a great year ’round pool where my kids swam for the swim team.
Ohio. Because think of the damage John Kasich could do if he were somewhere important.
I was going to suggest “Inspiring Campus Law Enforcement Since 1968” but I can’t improve on Brownian @ #24. However, I’ll challenge one of F.’s suggestions with another Baby Boomer classic: “Smoke on the Water.”
(Actually I went with “Buckeye State” because it is the traditional state motto and it’s also more likely to garner votes.)
magicmandoneit: I’m guessing another anatomical reference would be more appropriate. Unfortunately there are a number of states ahead of Ohio in the competition for the coveted title “Asshole of the U.S.”
Audley: I live in New Hampshire. As a born-and-bred Masshole, I feel confident in stating that a good number of the shitty NH drivers you see are ones who, like me, moved north of the state line.
Coragyps: I’m somehow reminded of the joke that the “N” on University of Nebraska football helmets stands for “Nowledge.”
Oh Hell It’s Ohio
How did everyone miss: “Ohio: Rubber Capital of the World”? Maybe not everyone has the same juvenile sense of humor that I do.
I went with “Tecumseh” because I’ve admired him since I was a kid. IIRC, his was the first actual biography I ever read, at age 8 or so. I could live with “Rubber Capital of the World”, though my interpretation of that probably wouldn’t be what they had in mind.
“Home of Astronauts” has Geek appeal.
Hey! Quit pharyngulating the DMV website. How can a Canuck vote if you Ohioans (Ohiotes?) keep voting? My choice would be “Can I buy a consonant?” . My second choice would be for Tecumseh since he was on the same side as my British ancestors. Remember next year is the bicentennial of the war of 1812.
Since it had a write-in spot for, “What does Ohio mean to you?,
I replied :
ASS PONYS
Ohio’s finest band (& the best falsetto in rock).
May I suggest that you too vote ASS PONYS.
Wouldn’t that make a great license plate?
.
. . . . . . OHIO . . . . . .
. . . . . x x x x x x x . . . . .
. . . ASS PONYS . . .
–
–
(Sadly the ASS PONYS are no more. You should listen to WUSSY now.)
I would have voted for “God helps those who help themselves” if it had been up. I’ve always thought of that as a tongue-in-cheek variation of “with God all things are possible, as long as they were possible anyway”.
Ms. Daisy Cutter:
I wouldn’t be surprised. Either that or they’re the ones who live close enough to Beantown that the Massholery has rubbed off.
Massholes are the bane of my existence. *shakes fist!*
shouldbeworking
Hey, give the Canadians a whack at it. Ohio once was part of Quebec. (Among other things.)
It’s Ohioans. But I think I’d prefer Ohiotes. (Even more than Ohioites, if on the off chance this is what was intended.)
With God All Things Are Possible. And Yet, Here You Are.
I am torn between:
Come see the flaming Cuyahoga River
Punching college football players since 1978
Shooting college students since 1970
The smell between Pennsylvania and Indiana
Home of the Reds but not the Commie kind
How about “I brake for hallucinations.”
I succumbed to my inner Beavis & Butthead: He said rubber! Huhuhuhuh!
Oh I forgot:
Big Butter Jesus – He’ll be back!
Since apparently even Canadians who’ve never been to Ohio get to vote too, I went with “Home of Astronauts”.
And if Ohioans do put that on their license plates, I’m definitely going to find some excuse to visit!
OHIO
Only Handle It Once
I can’t tell you how many times I heard that while building my house with my father in law.
But, Chimp!
Then how does one follow the carpenter’s maxim: “Measure twice, cut once”?
F:
Ohiorrhoids.
As a botanist, I went with the state wildflower, white trillium (Trillium grandiflorum). It’s science and nature and much better than many of the other options. Plants for the win?
I voted for “Iroquois for Beautiful River.” I like that one word says so much.
You guys realize this poll is a huge scam, right?
It’s obviously been reverse engineered by a team of lawyers to guarantee a “God” choice and make that choice robust enough to withstand any litigation:
A. There’s only one “God” choice, so everyone who intends “to vote for God” has all their votes concentrated into one candidate; there’s no possibility of splitting (and diluting) a God-related choice. (Also, if more than one God candidate won, and they had 4 different God slogans sprinkled over the license plate, litigation might be more successful. As it is, the 10 slogans will be peppering the background, so the winning “God” slogan will in fact be repeated all over it multiple times.)
B. The other 9 secular selections provide excellent cover for the single God slogan. When “God” is inevitably chosen one of the 10, and they’re sued for it, they can say “look, it’s just one of 10.”
They apparently weren’t content with In God We Trust, because that’s so ubiquitous, even Atheists don’t associate it with God anymore– it’s like E Pluribus Unum. They want to up the stakes to remind everyone who the fuck everyone should be worshiping. They’d love to go with a “Jesus” slogan. But even they know they couldn’t get away with it (at least until Pres. Rick Perry appoints 2 more supreme court justices). So, they go with “With God All Things Are Possible,” because it refers to religion without referring to religion.
They’re smart sons of bitches. The structure of this poll is no accident.
Then how does one follow the carpenter’s maxim: “Measure twice, cut once”?
“Measure it with a micrometer, mark it with chalk, cut it with an ax.” –my dad’s motto.
As for the god thing, “with god you can take a surfboard through a revolving door…”
With God, all things are possible.
So if you pray hard enough, you can violate the First Law of Thermodynamics?
I think not.
As a long time resident of Iowa, I don’t remember any slogans on our plates except “A Good Place To Be From”. Jus’ jokin’.
But we do have farmers driving slowly down the highways in rural areas looking at their neighbors’ fields. So #45’s slogan above can be accuate at times.
“Burn on, Big River, Burn on”
Ah, those christians, burning their hands on testable hypotheses again…
With god all things are possible.
Not all things are possible.
Therefor: no god
I suggested “Separating Pennsylvania and Indiana.” Accurate, noncontroversial, and not remotely snarky.
I voted for “state of the first light bulb”, though I doubt it is really true.
QFT and hilarity.
I vote in favor of the “With God, everything is possible” text.
It will look great on photos of car crashes and reports of drunk driving.
LOL. But I also haz a sad, now.
I have lived just east of Cleveland, Ohio for all of my 56 years. Ohio currently makes a large number of license plate designs available at extra cost, including one with the slogan “In God We Trust”, and another one “Choose Life” as a slap against abortion rights. The obvious secular choices are “The Buckeye State” (although I’ve read those trees are now in decline here due to climate change), or “Beautiful Ohio”. Most of the proposals are too regional, as F pointed out at #57. I think petzl20 at #87 has it correct. Our Governor Kasich wants to throw some red meat to the Republican base/Christian Nationalists in Ohio by putting that loathsome slogan on all of our license plates.
An an Ohioan, I am embarassed by our state motto: “With God all things are possible.” I voted for “The Buckeye State,” but I wanted to write in “Cleveland Rocks!”
This is a conundrum. However, the OHIO was about carrying large stacks of plywood, or 2×4’s, roof shingles or whatever so it worked.
With all of our failings in SC we do have a secular humanist license plate.
In Reason We Trust
I used to hate Indiana’s “In God We Trust” plate because, unlike every other elective plate design the state offers, that one is subsidized by the taxpayers.
But I’ve come to realize that it serves a useful purpose, and it’s well worth all the money they steal from our schools to pay for it.
It’s a warning sign, you see: if a car has an “In God We Trust” plate on it, you can practically guarantee that the driver thinks only of himself and his own selfish desires on the road just as in life, and you can avoid being involved when (not if) he does something stupid.
I’ve had this same idea for years here in SC. I avoid them on the roads when I see them.
If they have truck nutz and a McCain / Palin sticker, triple that.
“Left Lane Is For Passing Only”
Ohio drivers are the worst for hanging out in the passing lane, refusing to move over and let anyone else through. Put this on the rear end of every vehicle, and maybe, just maybe, some of them will get the message.
@phein39: you must be from Michigan. Unlike Michigan law, Ohio law allows you to hang out in the left lane as long as you’re driving at or above the prevailing and lawful speed: http://codes.ohio.gov/orc/4511.25 .
Ooh, I’ve got one:
“Ohio: Birthplace of Presidential mediocrity.”
So, I went to their Facebook page and commented about why that religious phrase was being considered for a government document and I received this reply –
Ohio Bureau of Motor Vehicles wrote: “As you know, the website is intended to give all interested persons an opportunity to express their views on which slogan, phrase, or fact they think best describes Ohio. The choices listed were suggested by the Columbus College of Art and Design committee that designed the new license plate along with suggestions from other sources. This list is not exclusive; anyone may suggest any slogan, phrase, or fact they may favor. Final selections will be made after all suggestions are considered. The slogan you object to is the official motto of the State of Ohio; see Ohio Revised Code section 5.06. The BMV does not intend to remove it as one of the many choices available for selection. Thank you for your comment; it will be considered during the final selection process.”
“With God, 12+3=2 Is Possible” is what I suggested.
@106:
Translation: Take your comment and kindly fuck off.
I don’t read it that way. If it is the official motto, then it’s the official motto; what do you expect the OBMV to do?
Alberta’s official motto is “We love ignorance so much we will dry-hump it like a dog when company’s over”*, and yet I wouldn’t expect the folks who run the registries to remove it as a poll choice, no matter how much they agree with me that it’s dumb.
*Or something like that.
@108
Yep, pretty much ;-).
Some of the follow up comments were entertaining as well…if you define entertainment as; the same tired crap you hear from “purssicuted” Christians everywhere.
I went with Annie Oakley, since I’ve had a 40 year crush on her.
I occasionally ask god for am even number, greater than 2 which is not the sum of exactly 2 primes. No Luck.
I meant to comment yesterday, but I got distracted. Since “Use condoms Ohio!” wasn’t an option, I went with Rubber Capital of the World.
Oh, there’s a write-in option. I added “Use Condoms Ohio!”
As an Ohio resident for all but the first few months of my 68+ years, I’m wondering why I’m enjoying this thread’s slams and put-downs of the place I call “Home”. Maybe because, in spite of its many faults, it seems to grow on you — which suggests the first of several write-in candidates:
OHIO: It Grows On You
OHIO: State of Denial
OHIO: State of Delusion
and my favorite…
OHIO: Last to Follow
Tossed in a vote for a serious one, (The Buckeye State), and a write in for a used slogan from Ontario, (Keep it Beautiful).
I am dimly, vaguely aware of having read a long time ago that the first recorded traffic accident between two automobiles in this country occurred in Ohio, between, as it turned out, the only two licensed drivers in the state. So how about:
Any Ohioans around who can confirm or deny it?
#116 — I thought that was Kansas, but I read it in an insurance ad 30+ years ago so my memory could be faulty.
My wished-for slogan: “It’s like a less-sucky Indiana”.
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