An accident at a fair in Indiana has killed five people. But the big news is that God saved a couple of country western singers from the duo Sugarland from risk!
Whatever it was, members of Sugarland can thank stage manager Hellen Rollens for saving their lives by making a spur-of-the-moment decision to hold a prayer circle just before the stage collapsed last Saturday at the Indiana State Fair.
Looks like God was listening. Here’s what happened.
Sugarland’s manager, Gail Gellman, credited Rollens with keeping the country pop duo from walking down the ramp at the last second, just as a 70 mph gust of wind from an approaching storm caused the stage to topple over onto the crowd, killing five fans and injuring dozens of others.
“Everybody was standing in a prayer circle getting ready to go onstage, and [as Rollens] was walking down the ramp, the stage fell. So her decision to hold them for literally a minute saved every band member and crew’s life,” Gellman told the Associated Press.
Actually, don’t you suspect that this Rollens character frequently asks the band to waste time in prayer circles, so this was nothing exceptional? Wouldn’t it have been more impressive if God had spoken in warning to Hellen Rollens, so that she’d run out to warn everyone else and tell them to get away from danger, so that 5 people wouldn’t be dead?
Since this God is clearly an evil bastard who cares nothing for human life, and since the members of Sugarland must be agents of an evil, monstrous being who casually swats down their fans, I hope you’ll all join me in boycotting the insensitive wicked minions of this cruel god. Boycott Sugarland!*
*This is admittedly no sacrifice on my part since I’ve never heard of these dull-witted wankers before, and just the phrase “country pop duo” sends me fleeing.