I grow concerned for your craniofacial integrity

I’m going to do it again. You’re all about to facepalm once more, just as you did yesterday. By now, you should know this blog and be conscious of the need for deliberation and caution when putting your hand to your face.

I was sent this example of science proving atheism wrong. Perhaps you should gently place your hand on your forehead before you start reading, to forego the possibility of slamming your palm into your face with great force.


So…this clever calculation is contingent on the premise that there has been 6 billion people on the earth for 3 billion years, and, tragically, that every drop everyone drinks stays in their body and disappears when they die. Hey, I’ve been visiting pubs here in England, and I’ve noticed that every pint I take in is followed a little later by a pint flowing out to, eventually, the sea. Which has led me to a complementary calculation that similarly disproves atheism.

Let’s assume that 6 billion people have been hanging out at the pub every day, and right after last call they stagger to the pisser and evacuate two liters of urine. By that calculation, there ought to be roughly 10 times as much water as we observe on the planet, and we ought to be completely submerged and swimming in pee. We are not, therefore we can conclude that there must be something wrong with my estimates, and since I am an idiot, I will assume that it can’t possibly be a failure to recognize an important concept like physiological homeostasis, and must be because one parameter, the length of time, must be fudged by 6 orders of magnitude to fit the innumerate presuppositions of bronze-age goat molesters.