Queensland, Australia is currently threatened by a major cyclone, and everyone is bracing for the impact. There isn’t much we can do right now but watch and wait, and be prepared to help however we can. But there are things that are pointless to do.

I thought this was the silliest, most useless web source I’d find for this problem: it’s a set of specific instructions on how to pray during a natural disaster. Yeah, everybody in Cairns right now — all you need to do is get on the internet, read a few hundred words telling you what to pray for, and then get on your knees and start begging God based on an 8-point checklist.

But wait! There’s an even more stupid way to waste your time! You could do like Catch the Fire Ministries (Aussies are not surprised that that organization comes up when the word “stupid” is mentioned) and even before the cyclone makes landfall, you can start pointing fingers and blaming the atheist prime minister and the gay Green party leader who have caused the catastrophe. Prime Minister Gillard has failed to pray for God to turn the cyclone away.

Maybe someone should send those prayer instructions to the PM. Or better yet, send them to Daniel Nalliah! He seems to have a special in with god … maybe he should be using his persuasive powers to get his god to send his cyclone away. If he doesn’t, I think we should blame Nalliah for the cyclone, since he’s not using his prayerful powers to help the people of Australia.