Zombies are street legal in Minneapolis

A few years ago, a group of people dressed up as zombies for a protest march and got arrested for it.

When arrested at the intersection of Hennepin Avenue and 6th Street N., most of them had thick white powder and fake blood on their faces and dark makeup around their eyes. They were walking in a stiff, lurching fashion and carrying four bags of sound equipment to amplify music from an iPod when they were arrested by police who said they were carrying equipment that simulated “weapons of mass destruction.”

I know. We’re all on edge with the imminent threat of the zombie apocalypse, and it’s perhaps understandable that a police force under constant siege by the undead might be a little overzealous at the sight of live people simulating zombiehood, but still…we have laws, and the police should abide by them. Minnesota courts agree, and the seven fake zombies have been awarded $165,000 for their unjustifiable arrest.

Now, on to the pressing and important questions: are the police required to read their Miranda rights to real zombies before shooting them in the head?

I also wonder what sociological consequences this will have. Will our streets soon be full of lurching, reeking, groaning corpses? Southern California gets panhandlers, and wouldn’t you know it, Minnesota gets zombies.