What have the boys been up to?

You may have been fooled by my youthful vigor and childlike exuberance, but I’m actually an old guy — I’ve got entirely grown up kids who have moved out and have nothing to do with me anymore. They’re so old that they aren’t even threatening to move back into my basement any more! I’m just going to mention what the two boys men have been doing lately, so maybe you can help them out.

My oldest son, Alaric, is currently working as the deputy campaign manager for the DFL candidate in District 15B, Zachary Dorholt. You want to vote for him, if you’re living in that part of St Cloud. If you don’t get to vote for him, you could always donate. He’s our sensible candidate, unlike his right-wing opponent, who has sworn to be 100% pro-life and never, ever under any circumstances raise taxes, no matter how dire our fiscal situation.

They are having a fundraiserat 3:00 on Sunday, 18 July, at 3335 West St Germain in St Cloud. Show up and tell my tall skinny red-haired scion that I sent you, and he’ll give you a free hug! So worth it.

My middle son, Connlann, is at Fort Benning, Georgia. He’s in OCS, in the army (I know! How dare one of my kids do something that I would never do!), in Crusher Company. They’re torturing him by doing things like throwing him in the water and making him swim with a rifle.


Now this is even more important than helping my oldest son’s candidate win an election: could everyone do everything they can to end the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq before he graduates in September? Thanks.