A very devout Catholic was trapped on an elevator for a while, and after it was working again, rushed to church to thank God. Then, something unfortunate happened:

He seems to have embraced a stone pillar on which the stone altar was perched and it fell on him, killing him instantly. We have found his fingerprints on the pillar. We are now investigating the case further.

Now, you see, if he’d rushed off to thank the elevator repairman, that wouldn’t have happened. Given his bad luck, the repairman might have been a demented homicidal maniac who would have clubbed him to death with a spanner, but no altar would have fallen on him. Therefore, religion is bad for your health.