1. itwasntme says

    Looks like fun. Maybe possible for a couple from Cirque du Soleil, but not me, alas.

  2. Sven DiMilo says

    Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a coiling body-length translucent penis emerging from the side of your head, kid.

  3. CortxVortx says

    “It is at this point that they whip their dicks out.”

    This surpasses Monty Python’s “The Whelk” skit. High-school biology class would be booked up if we had these kinds of lectures.

  4. gorobei says

    We, the banana slug contingent, are saddened by our cousins’ attempt to gin up some press about their size.

    Try banana, you’ll never go back! (oh, this rhymes in the original)

  5. Rheinhard says

    Hey c’mon guys, admit it — you’d like to be able to get your penises to extend to half your body length too, wouldn’t you? (Not to mention the ladies – size matters, right?)

  6. Ivence says

    Nature documentarys should all be narrated thusly. Forget the boring old “drone drone drone.” Nature is exciting, wonderous and plain fucking wierd and to wrap it up in false dignity cheapens nature itself and the sheer joy to be had from discovering.

  7. MAJeff, OM says

    (Not to mention the ladies – size matters, right?)

    Size may matter, but there’s a certain point at which it turns into, “What, exactly, do you expect me to do with that?”

  8. gwyllion says

    OK – that was very very odd- i live here and i NEVER knew abut this – whew i have new respect for the slimy little guys – i was beautiful and awe – ful!

  9. Jim B says

    Considering the messy co-mingling of their penises, when they retract are they guaranteed to get the sperm of only the other, or can they get their own? If so, is there some mechanism that prevents them from fertilizing their eggs with their own sperm? Or do they just live with this dark secret?

  10. Esme says

    This is now my second favorite nature video of all time, second only to the video of the octopus strangling the shark at an aquarium

  11. Helioprogenus says

    So what prevents a slug’s own sperm to impregnate their own eggs if it gets transferred with the donor slugs sperm?

  12. Helioprogenus says

    Sorry Jim B, I didn’t see your post before practically asking the same question. You know, great minds……

  13. Big City says

    So what prevents a slug’s own sperm to impregnate their own eggs if it gets transferred with the donor slugs sperm?

    Um… Jesus?

  14. Esme says

    Helioprogenus, the same thing that keeps a flower from pollinating itself: it’s a hermaphrodite, but it does not reproduce asexually.

  15. Sven DiMilo says

    Penis evolution (thanks, PZ Myers!)
    Penis dimension* (thanks, Ken Cope!)

    *The Fluorescent Leech + Eddie + FZ + orchestra = !!!!!!!
    “The penis can be a very useful organ.”
    “And very exciting, too, once you get to know me!”

  16. says

    My niece walked over and said, “What are those things doing?!” and I had to pretend slugs make beautiful art for people to look at, because who wants to explain hermaphroditic slug sex to a 9 year old?

  17. Stephanurus says

    There was a poster printed some years ago called “Penises of the Animal Kingdom”. Anybody have a copy?

  18. North of 49 says

    What a great way to start Sunday surfing — no, seriously. A beautiful, jaw-dropping spectacle.

    I’m curious, though: isn’t dangling from a branch out in the open pretty risky? Or do night-flying birds not eat slugs?

    Also, what’s to prevent a slug-eating ground animal from waiting below the branch until the happy couple have their cigarette and drop off?

  19. mus says

    “Spineless Slimy Dick Heads” my ass, isn’t the scientific name of these guys Limax maximus?

  20. me says

    Yes, all nature documentaries should be narrated in this style.
    “Whipped their dicks out.” I lol’d.

  21. Kerlyssa says

    Just because they’re hermaphrodites doesn’t mean that they can’t use their own sperm. That’s not asexual reproduction, even if it is damn weird. I wonder if they do impregnate themselves sometimes?

  22. Muffin says

    “Terrifying” and “beautiful” aren’t mutually exclusive, but personally, I think these are neither. There’s certainly animals with beautiful penises – wolves come to mind, for instance -, but leopard slugs just don’t “do it” for me. :)

  23. Jadehawk says

    Dr Manhattan anyone?

    hmmm… that’s the million dollar question

    what’s more terrifying: a body-length, prehensile, penis coming out of your head; or a blue, radioactive penis…

  24. Beery Swine says

    Maybe they oughtta be called Jupiter Slugs. Didn’t Minerva come from his brain?

    As for the title of this post, well, I guess beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

  25. tim Rowledge says

    Well, PersonalFailure, in the case of my 9 year old nice (hmm, actually maybe coming on for 11 now I guess, time does fly) I think I’d sit back and let her explain it to me. She’s the one that dissected a deceased chicken instead of letting it be disposed of, supervises the sheep tupping, takes an interest in pretty much all things scientific and will make an … interesting…. partner for some lucky person when she gets older.

  26. says

    If only I’d known that all I had to do was post a movie with flamboyant blue penises to get MAJeff to come out of retirement.

  27. Alyson Miers says

    Someone has a Visual Comparison Fetish, I see.

    But I do agree; those are some gorgeous willies!

  28. Red Skeleton says

    My penis is far more terrifying and twice as slimy. Where’s my show segment?

  29. Cafeeine says

    There is a down side to this.
    I’ll never be able to use “Spineless Slimy Dick Head” as an insult any more, as it would seem more like flattery.

  30. Holydust says

    it’s sad, but I find the slugs really ugly and the entwined phalluses totally pretty. it looks like something i’d hang from my rearview.

  31. octopod says

    Hey, this isn’t terrifying. What was terrifying was that morningstar penis on that beetle a couple of weeks ago! This is just pretty…

  32. Numad says

    “Not to mention the ladies – size matters, right?”

    Size provides good rules of thumb for knowing when to run away.

    Welcome back, MAJeff!

  33. Dust says

    Numad noted: Size provides good rules of thumb for knowing when to run away

    Or when to point and laugh!

    D’oh! That would be mean!

  34. Procyon says

    ‘Mucosus invertebratus caputithyphallicus’?
    I always thought it was Limax maximus.
    Perhaps this mating ritual could serve as proof of intelligent design. I think the Discovery Institute should add this to their extensive experimental repertoire. I can see the headline: “Design dickheads prove dickheads designed”

  35. vertalio says

    Yeah. I saw this once with the duller slugs here in MA…gorgeous, in a twirling, slime-encrusted penis sort of way. They touched “mouths” together near the end of the…um…act, resulting in a slime thread between their mouths, that grew a tiny bubble, and then I think an even tinier something that may have been a slug polliwog passed between them, sucked in by the second before they began swinging (yeah, baby!) so they could touch the newel post and trail off on their separate ways.
    Does anyone know if that’s possible? The embryo/infant passing thingie?
    As if they weren’t weird enough already…

  36. says

    Nah, that’s not a scary penis. If you want something truly horrifying, check out the penis of the bedbug (and a few other genera of bugs), which is effectively a sword. The male impregnates the female by piercing her side with his appendage by what is known as “traumatic insemination”, and his sperm migrates to her genital tract. Repeated copulations damage the female through injury and infection, leading to her premature death. Thus she is less able to reproduce with other males, ensuring his sperm is more likely to achieve success.

    In response, females have evolved a groove down the side of their exoskeletons to direct the penis to a particular reinforced region known as paragenitalia, where the penis will do less damage. There is evidence that increased protection against infection resides in this region.

    This is a classic case of sexual conflict in evolution and indeed, the penises of such species evolve at quite a startling rate.

  37. Blind Squirrel FCD says

    What tim Rowledge said at #48. No better time to teach about sex and its myriad variations as long as you can do so without acting uncomfortable about it. In fact 9 years is a little late, IMHO.

  38. Numad says

    “D’oh! That would be mean!”

    Not to mention counterproductive, as you may just be contributing in pushing more people to inject silicone in inappropriate bodyparts!

  39. Ichthyic says

    Not to mention counterproductive, as you may just be contributing in pushing more people to inject silicone in inappropriate bodyparts!

    hmm, I’ve always wanted one of those big-bulging foreheads…

  40. mayhempix says

    I had no idea leopard slugs were Catholic.

    But then again we all knew that Bill Donohue was a dickhead.

  41. Bacopa says

    Makes me glad I breed one of the few snails that has distinct males and females. But larger female malaysian trumpets can reproudce parthenogenicly.

    Most fishkeepers hate the trumpets, but I love them. Their borrows keep my purple sulfer bacteria and denitrifying bacteria alive.

  42. says

    I have little to say about the slugs. I just want to welcome MAJeff back!

    The slug weenie bell thing would make an interesting rear-view mirror danglie. Especially when Grandma asks about it.

  43. Urmensch says

    Margaret Morgan,
    Those are really beautiful slugs; I’ve never seen them before.

  44. Mena says

    Apparently winter isn’t the only thing that is too long in Canada…
    (although I do blame the long winters for stuff like that video)

  45. says

    Speaking of elegant slug sex, this is a photo I took of red triangle slugs, Triboniophorus graefii, doing the humpy bumpy in our garden (north of Sydney, Australia).

    I’ve got some SEM images of a Triboniophorus penis. (As one does). It’s covered in what look like small spines. Hermaphroditic and into a little S & M.

  46. SWAT says

    Send that to Ray Comfort. Since there is little hope that he’ll understand sex at all anyway, you can do it for shits n giggles knowing he’ll lose sleep over it.

  47. says

    The hugs of slugs, the tricks of dicks,
    Hermaphroditic bliss;
    To climb, make slime, perchance to dance,
    Much closer than a kiss.
    Their bed, a thread that’s slung or hung
    From branch, or jutting rocks,
    Where they display a gay ballet
    Of intertwining cocks.
    This sex may vex the prude, as rude,
    Or deviant or odd;
    To spin as sin, we know, would show
    A very boring god!

  48. says

    You know, when your penis is as big as you are, it really calls this question to mind: Is this a slug with a large penis, or is it a penis with a small slug?

    Damn these deep philosophical questions. Now I’m going to be up all night.

  49. Ray Comforttttttttt says

    Has this been forwarded to Ray Comfort?

    So how did two hermaphrodite slugs evolve simultaneously ? Hmmmmm, yeah ,see? gotcha gotcha.

    Isn’t it awfully nice to have a penis?
    Isn’t it frightfully good to have a dong?
    It’s swell to have a stiffy,
    It’s divine to own a dick.
    From the tiniest little tadger
    To the world’s biggest prick!
    So three cheers for your willy or John Thomas.
    Hooray for your one-eyed trousers snake.
    Your piece of pork, your wife’s best friend,
    Your Percy or your cock.
    You can wrap it up in ribbons,
    You can slip it in your sock.
    Don’t take it out in public,
    Or they will put you in the dock …
    And you won’t

  50. puseaus says

    And the board of the Tentacleton-foundation proudly presents this year’s slimy winner. A little squishy, perhaps, but with the mind to penetrate any barrier of uncertainty!

  51. Muffin says



    That picture seems to be private.

  52. Rrr says

    Wow, that was amazing and beautiful :-D

    My niece walked over and said, “What are those things doing?!” and I had to pretend slugs make beautiful art for people to look at, because who wants to explain hermaphroditic slug sex to a 9 year old?

    9? That’s more than old enough. :-D I was lucky to have access to science books by a very young age so I was well aware of human and animal reproduction. Seeing something as awesome as this back then would have been neat. I have to encourage you to give your niece lots of books about science, space, biology etcetera. She’ll thank you for it when she grows older.

  53. says

    At 51/2 I was the best doctor on the block.;> If I had only known it would be ten years before I would be allowed to practice medicine again.

  54. Longtime Lurker says

    And to think, the homophobic patriarchal set invokes “Natural Law” as a pretext for gay-bashing…

  55. Sili says


    I hate hate hate hate hate slugs of any and all kind.

    At least the commentary was amusing.

  56. CortxVortx says

    1) Welcome back, Dr. MAJeff!

    2) Just when you think it couldn’t get funnier, Cuttlefish weighs in FTW.