My university has closed the campus, and we’re supposed to shoo everyone off towards home, all because of a little blizzard. It’s like a Snow Day!
Unfortunately, getting kicked out of work just means I have to go home to Morris. In a blizzard. With everything shut down and locked up tight. Well, I hope I don’t get lost in a whiteout and freeze to death while trying to find the door to my house…
2:37. Made it home, covered in snow. All that wind also blows the snow in through every crevice — took my coat off and shed snow on everything. Afraid to go to the bathroom now.
3:10. Have discovered that the cupboard is bare. Should have stockpiled food yesterday. Too late now — the car is a chunk of ice, and there’s no way I’m walking outside.
3:28. Darn. Wife is snowbound in Willmar and will be spending the night there, so I’m going to be home alone. There goes the cannibalism idea. May have to carve out a chunk of my own thigh to survive.
Wait! The cat!
3:48. Took a long hard look at the cat. I’m not that hungry. Back to palpitating thigh for tenderness.
4:01. CAAAAABBIIIIIIIIIIINNNN FEEEEEEEEEEEEVVVER!!!!
4:32. I’m feeling better now. I found the Narwhal song, and I’m playing it over and over. I won’t go insane now, no sir.
“Narwhals, Narwhals, swimmin’ in the ocean causing a commotion ’cause they are so awesome”. They are the jedi of the sea!
4:5B. sed5r hiujok pl[5678yhiu 9 ojm89uhiy ghe45e drt cf.
5:05! Wait! I found everything I need for waffles! And some hot cocoa mix hidden away in a cupboard! I’m saved! Waffle orgy at my house tonight! Sanity…restored!
I’m still going to be singing that Narwhal song for a while, though.