It’s not even Halloween yet!


And already the War on Christmas nonsense is starting up. Why, I remember they used to wait until after Thanksgiving before they’d put up the Christmas lights and install Santa in the shopping malls and start complaining about how the atheists were out to destroy Christmas, and every year it came earlier and earlier.

I’m a traditionalist. I’m going to wait until mid-December to put up my Christmas tree and subvert the holiday.

Comments

  1. Wowbagger says

    They put up huge ornaments on the streetlights here in Adelaide (Australia) a couple of weeks ago. But I suspect it’s more about getting people in the spending mood than it is about getting them to think about Jebus.

  2. woodstein312 says

    It’s even stranger when you live, like me, in the South Pacific. No snow, not a fir tree in sight.. and yet the sales pitches are the same. Sigh

  3. says

    Good idea to wait with the tree, because otherwise you’ll have pine needles all through the hall… but I like to start working on presents now. I make most of mine, so I need a run-up.

  4. says

    Oh, and the Christians are starting their own war on Halloween here… seem to think there’s something wrong with it.

  5. says

    Already? Meh. The Christians stole it from the pagans and every liberal democracy has made it a secular holiday. Traditions change for the environment it’s in. The sooner that people start realising the secular nature of the national holiday, the quicker we can break away from segregation and become a true multicultural society.

  6. BobC says

    Christmas is an offensive word because it reminds some people of genocide.

    It’s better to call your tree a Santa Claus tree which is for celebrating Santa Claus Day.

    Using the word Christmas is not just offensive. Saying Merry Christmas, instead of Happy Santa Claus Day, is sucking up to the Christian retards who believe in Jebus.

    Some people say Santa Claus is a myth, but at least nobody has been murdered for Santa.

  7. Arnosium Upinarum says

    OT: Michelle Bachmann says that “Hardball” interview was all a “big mistake’.

    No, it wasn’t.

    A “mistake” is an error, something that happens to trip you up when you attempt to do something.

    This liar made no “mistake” when she was interviewed by Matthews, and she didn’t make a “mistake” when she lies to deny what she actually “said” or “meant”.

    Both of those activities came out mistake-free. She meant what she said. Both times.

    When one lies, one attempts to succeed in sounding as if one means what one says. She succeeded, with no mistakes. Both times.

    She is a deceitful woman and should therefore not be retained in her position representing her constituents. She lied to them, twice, and meant exactly what she said, twice. Liars enslave those who are lied to.

    Never mind that her statements are mutually contradictory. That’s just something ELSE that happens when you LIE. What else has she lied about? Can her word be trusted?

    Vote the bum out.

    “I believe that it is better to tell the truth than to lie. I believe that it is better to be free than to be a slave. And I believe thatit is better to know than be ignorant.”

    HL Mencken

    (Coincidentally, in PZ’s quote box just now)

  8. Anders says

    I would like a “scarlet A” screensaver but having a hard time finding one…suggestions?

  9. Luger Otter Robinson says

    My local supermarket has just started selling Easter buns. Usually they wait till Boxing Day (the day after Christmas) to do so.

  10. Christopher says

    The War on Christmas is big business for groups like Wildmon’s. Keeping the faithful paranoid about persecution is a cash cow that keeps on giving. If Christians weren’t paranoid that someone somewhere was undermining their faith and marriage, they might stop giving to people like Wildmon, Bill Donohue, and James Dobson.

    Heh – just like the ‘Perpetual War’ in Orwell’s 1984, designed to keep the proles under control and (ahem) ‘happy’.

  11. Confused says

    I’m going to wait until mid-December to put up my Christmas tree and subvert the holiday.

    Revert, surely? It’s not like the original midwinter festival was a Christian affair.

  12. says

    OT Arnosium Upinarum @ 7

    The RNC announced today that they are pulling all financial and logistical support out of Bachmann’s re-election campaign, she’s on her own.

    Vote Tinker Dinker Dude

  13. says

    Masks of Eris @12: I wonder if there are any Christmas tree desecration videos on Youtube?

    I heard a horrific story where some godless atheist biology professor from Minnesota, chopped down a pine tree, a literal death sentence. Then dragged it into his house, then wrapped electrical wires around it and hung weighted objects from its limbs, then made it stand in a stress position until it DIED.

    AND THEN, dragged it’s lifeless corpse out into the street where everybody could see the desecrated carcass, and then it was disposed of like a worthless chunk of trashy resinous wood.

    it reminded me of scenes from Somalia, or Fallujah.

    But what would you expect from a godless liberal atheist?

    Somebody call Uncle Bill Donahue, this has got to stop, BEFORE it gets to You Tube.

  14. Anders says

    Arnosium Upinarum @ 7

    Sure she made a mistake, she was honest in her stupid opinion in the wrong place at the wrong time…

  15. davem says

    My local supermarket has just started selling Easter buns. Usually they wait till Boxing Day (the day after Christmas) to do so.

    In the UK, for several years, they’ve been available all year round. There were complaints from the Christian community, but Lord Mammon prevailed.

  16. BigBob says

    God doesn’t like christmas trees.
    Remind your christian friends of what it says in the book of Jeremiah:

    Jeremiah 10:2-4 (King James Version)
    2 Thus saith the LORD, Learn not the way of the heathen, and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven; for the heathen are dismayed at them.
    3 For the customs of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe.
    4 They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not.

    Heathen, see.

    Bob

  17. llewelly says

    Mammon! Mammon!
    Onward, Upward, Onward, Upward, with the Glorious Retail Revolution!
    Sell all that may be Sold!
    Buy all that may be Bought!
    Consume all that may be Consumed!

  18. says

    I’m sorta like PZ here. My tree will probably be going up fairly late. Not as late coming down (I think we finally got everything back in the closet by April last year, as compared to September the year before), but pretty late all the same.

  19. firemancarl says

    Yep, they’re putting up the stuff in the mall in Daytona Beach already. Ugh. Now my girls will wanna ride that silly train for hours……

  20. says

    Kel,

    The Christians stole it from the pagans

    Shhh! We are trying to keep that a secret! Not very sporting of you to reveal such privileged information. Are you really Geraldo, incognito? There are still, oh, a few hundred people in the world who don’t know Christmas was first (and as far as I’m concerned, still is) a pagan holiday. Why spoil their fun?

  21. humbert dinglepencker says

    Here in Denver some of the stores have Hallowe’en goblins and ghosties standing next to Santa and his elves. Spooky, indeed.

  22. says

    Anders @ #8, anything that can write to the root window can be used as a screensaver. See the file “README.hacking”, which is to be found in the Source Code distribution of XScreensaver — can be downloaded here.

  23. says

    Here in Denver some of the stores have Hallowe’en goblins and ghosties standing next to Santa and his elves. Spooky, indeed.

    Yeah, those elves are not to be trusted.

    I finally got a Christmas tree for the first time last year. A little black one, and I decorated it with black ornaments. I’m quite looking forward to putting it up again.

  24. says

    I’m an atheist and I wholeheartedly support the “Put the Christ back in Christmas” folks. Western society has taken what was once a relatively insignificant religious holiday and perverted it into a festival of insincere good will that’s more greed than God, more marketing than magic.

    Are we, as a society, better off that people can guilt-trip each other into giving presents? Are we better off that we force you to put on a happy face and pretend to be nice to that asshole whom you were hoping would fall down a manhole last week? Does worshipping at the altar of Mastercard and Visa make you a better person?

    Let the Christians have Christmas and get it away from the rest of us.

  25. Stwriley says

    When confronted with rampant idiocy in “defense” of Christmas, I always fall back on a few lines from that paragon of professorial disdain, Tom Lehrer:

    Christmas time is here, by golly,
    Disapproval would be folly,
    Deck the halls with hunks of holly,
    Fill the cup and dont say when.
    Kill the turkeys, ducks and chickens,
    Mix the punch, drag out the dickens,
    Even though the prospect sickens,
    Brother, here we go again.
    A Christmas Carol Tom Lehrer

    And for good measure, here’s Tom’s original recording, with lyrics.

  26. bo says

    … well this is awkward.

    as an athiest, and democratic socialist, i hate to admit the following…

    i love christmas, and we put our tree up in early november. its obviously not because of the ‘reason for the season’, and certainly not the orgy of capitalism that takes place. its just, something about the cold weather, the camaraderie amongst my family and friends, the lights and the smells of candles and whatnot. i just, really, really like the holiday season.

    my name is bo, and i like christmas (hiiii bo!)

    we all have our own personal hypocrisies, no?

  27. Cactus Wren says

    Someone’s already hawking a t-shirt with the message “I will not apologize for saying Merry Christmas”.

    You know, I liked “Merry Christmas” when it meant “Merry Christmas”. I don’t like it so much now that I have to wonder whether the speaker really means “Fuck You”.

  28. Lana says

    We celebrate all holidays – including Cinco de Mayo and Chinese New Year. But we haven’t even bought our pumpkin yet so I’m not even close to thinking about Christmas.

  29. flatlander100 says

    You’re putting the tree up in mid-December? Slacker! The tree should go up Christmas eve, like god intended, and not a moment sooner. So it was when I was growing up in Brooklyn in the 1940s… my Dad and I went out Christmas eve eve to pick a tree from the street venders a block away, the trees leaning against the side of a building, and a fire buring in an oil drum to warm up at.
    Things are so bad now, I have to buy our tree two weeks ahead of time… and that’s pushing it, most lots closed here by then, or closing… and store it in a shady spot outside until The Eve. It’s downright unAmerican how early trees go up now.
    I blame Bush.

  30. says

    There should not be a war on Christmas. I’m not sure if this economy can handle fighting yet another war. Afghanistan, Iraq, the Middle Class, Drugs, Mainstreet, etc. We have enough wars as it is.

    Why can’t people just give it a rest and enjoy Christmas for the secular holiday that it is.

  31. says

    My favorite seasonal greeting is “Jolly Holidays!”

    Just my quiet way of saying “Fuck Xmas…”

    With a big, happy smile…

  32. Sastra says

    Evolving Squid #26 wrote:

    I’m an atheist and I wholeheartedly support the “Put the Christ back in Christmas” folks. Western society has taken what was once a relatively insignificant religious holiday and perverted it into a festival of insincere good will that’s more greed than God, more marketing than magic.

    Well, I’m an atheist and I’m wholeheartedly against the “put the Christ back in Christmas” idea. I’d rather work on replacing what you call “insincere good will” with sincere good will. You can pick any good idea and point out where the execution falls short. That doesn’t mean the idea itself is inherently bad, and should be trashed.

    If you don’t like the commercialism, then plug in the deeper values you would like to celebrate, do it that way, and put the “magic” and meaning back in.

    I’m also in favor of using the word “Christmas.” It’s actually MORE subversive of religion that trying to replace it with “Winter Holiday” or whatever. The more often the word is used without any implied religious meaning, the more secularized the holiday becomes. You can celebrate Halloween without being pagan; you can celebrate St. Valentine’s Day without being Catholic; you can celebrate Thanksgiving without having to “give thanks to God” like the Pilgrims.

    I would like to see the Christ in Christmas become as important to the holiday as the Estre in Easter. Eventually, this “war on Christmas” will end up universalizing it for everyone, not stamping it out. That’s what they’re really afraid of: too many people being happy without Jesus. And then they try to call us the Scrooges.

    Celebrating friends, family, fellowship, food, charity, peace, and good will is not an exclusive Christian idea. The Religious Right wants to co-opt everything wonderful in the world as being “meaningless without God.” I’m not going to bend over and let them get away with that.

    Someday I hope that there will be little “Did You Know?” blurbs on Fun Facts about Christmas in newspapers which merrily inform readers that, believe it or not, the part of the word Christmas which has the word “Christ” in it once referred to a supernatural deity in an ancient superstition.

  33. tsg says

    as an athiest, and democratic socialist, i hate to admit the following…

    i love christmas,

    […]

    we all have our own personal hypocrisies, no?

    What hypocritical about having a celebration with family? Do you do Independence Day, Memorial Day, Thanksgiving (or, if you aren’t American, any other secular holidays appropriate for your country)?

    My whole family is atheist and we do Christmas every year. We just don’t sing “Happy Birthday” to jeebus.

    The “Christ in Christmas” folks are just pissed off that the holiday they tried to make so popular became so popular but no longer holy. People took the parts they liked and junked the stuff they didn’t. For us it was the oogie-boogie myths that were abandoned. We made it secular.

  34. bo says

    @38

    thats a good point. having grown up in church (not my choice :/ ), its hard to view christmas as being secular. my stepmom still puts up “happy birthday jesus” signs.

  35. Jamie says

    Yes weeks ago here in Canada they had all the cool halloween decorations out, and next to them the christmas decorations as well, they used to wait until November first to put it all on display. If I had my way we wouldn’t put the christmas tree up till christmas eve, but my husband likes to have it up a couple weeks early.

  36. The Petey says

    Can we have a published list of where the braindead fundagelicals are boycotting so I know where to shop?

  37. David Marjanović, OM says

    God doesn’t like christmas trees.
    Remind your christian friends of what it says in the book of Jeremiah:

    Jeremiah 10:2-4 (King James Version)
    2 Thus saith the LORD, Learn not the way of the heathen, and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven; for the heathen are dismayed at them.

    Interestingly, this sounds like astrology is unkosher, too…

    Evolving Squid, do you really need an excuse to party? If not, why not party at the same time as everyone else? That has a lot of practical advantages, after all… I, for one, like kurisumasu, the Japanese celebration of love and materialism. :-)

  38. says

    It always used to be considered improper even to mention Christmas before Bonfire Night ….. Like many things, that changed sometime. Nowadays, the shops start stocking up for Christmas at the end of the school holidays.

    Oh, and stwriley — big thanks for the Tom Lehrer link!

  39. Karatex says

    I can’t wait… soon we will be entering my favorite time of the year… watching the bottled fury of people when I say “Happy Holidays” to them.

  40. withheld says

    My friend the Recovering CatholicTM had a Yule party last year. He decided to put up a tree, because the Christians stole that symbol from the pagans, so he wanted to steal it back.

    Also, scooter at #14… You win.

  41. raven says

    How can it already be time for the War on Xmas?

    We haven’t even finished the War on Halloween!!! The War on Halloween was always my favorite War holiday. The fundies always claimed it promoted satanism or something. Not being able to distinguish between make believe and reality and all.

    They’ve been rather subdued about their wars lately. It might be penetrating their thick skulls that most people just laugh at them and then ignore them.

  42. Brad D says

    Mark (#49) That poll requires a text comment with each vote, and then after submitting asks for a login. I would help, but that exceeds my laziness quota.

  43. says

    Bah, I still put up a tree. It’s more about tradition that religion (obviously) for me. It brings up most good memories from holidays in the past. I have no problem gloming off their religion holiday as an excuse for cooking some good food, drinking too much and giving / getting presents and most importantly getting together with family and friends.

    It’s pretty entrenched, might as well take advantage of it. No one in my family (except the crazy catholic Brother in law) ever does anything religious during that time anyway.

  44. Notagod says

    I’m a traditionalist and its the solstice holiday. Those new age christians are trying to replace the earth’s yearly journey around the sun with a fantasy. Keep the tradition pure I say, kick the christmas idiots out.

  45. archgallo says

    Some people from a very religous village here in the Netherlands are warning other people from their village not to celebrate Halloween, because it it a pagan holiday from Satan. I quote, “It is gambling with God’s enemy. And, spiritually seen, gambling with your eternal life.”

  46. Patricia says

    We celebrate Samhain in the old way, by remembering our loved ones that have passed away. The kiddies used to trick or treat in my town, but they all go to the mall now.
    It was great fun, I always put on a witch costume, painted my hands and face green. I can scare the bejebus out of the tikes.
    Christmas, bah humbug. We celebrate the solstice like proper heathens.

  47. tsg says

    How can it already be time for the War on Xmas?

    We haven’t even finished the War on Halloween!!!

    I’m still hungover from War on Columbus Day.

  48. Jadehawk says

    Oh, and the Christians are starting their own war on Halloween here… seem to think there’s something wrong with it.

    yup… some local church sent me junk-mail about their “Harvest Celebration”. On October 31. Screw them. (on the bright side, because of this I found out that Thanksgiving is NOT a thanksgiving like it’s understood in Europe. The Pilgrims-and-Indians story is apparently all there is to it)

    and I’m not putting any Christmas stuff up this year, because Christmas is a family holiday for me, and all family is 8000miles away. but it’s family tradition to put up “advent” stuff at the beginning of december, and the actual tree on the 23rd, and then keep it until mid-January.

    I can’t stand how early the holiday (i.e. super-spending) season starts now (i don’t know whether it’s as bad in Germany, but I suspect it is)

  49. tsg says

    yup… some local church sent me junk-mail about their “Harvest Celebration”. On October 31. Screw them.

    That’s it. I’m printing T-Shirts that say “I will not apologize for saying ‘Happy Halloween'”.

  50. says

    You want early you should be a small business, I’ve been preparing for holiday shoppers since September. Even if I wasn’t an atheist I’d be tired of it already, but I also like being able to pay bills so I’m working on making christmas stuff. I do have a bit of fun with it though, this year I’ve started making xmas platypus ornaments.

  51. kmarissa says

    bo, don’t worry. I’m an atheist as well, and I love Christmas, too. I’m a dork about holidays generally speaking, and get far too excited about each one. Right now the apartment is draped in black cheesecloth and fake cobwebs for Halloween, and in November the classic autumnal décor comes out, and right after Thanksgiving, it’s time to pull the four or five boxes of Christmas decorations out of storage. I don’t see myself getting very far into December without a fully-decorated tree.

    I don’t see anything wrong with celebrating any and every holiday that I choose in the way that makes me happiest, regardless of whether such holiday has a religious component in the minds of the majority of the US population. Plus, I love to decorate. It’s just kind of my thing.

  52. lisag says

    my fiance’s dad had the best quote in responce to somebody on the tv complaing about xmas being stolen by the godless heathens. he poundedhis chair and snapped at the tv “damn right we stole your holiday! and if you don’t stop complaining about it we’ll steal the rest of them!”

    which sparked off a discussion about how best to go about completely secularizing easter–and coming to the conclusion we needed to get a christain to tell us all their holidays so we could steal those too.

  53. Laser Potato says

    All my (immediate) family ever puts up for Christmas is the freakin’ tree; it’s a big waste of time, energy, and taste to do any further decoration. It’s just a 7-foot plastic fir with chintzy 20-year-old ornaments (the older ones broke) we’re too emotionally attached to to throw away and a hideous disco-ball star made for aluminum trees, yet when it’s all set up and lit it’s the prettiest thing you ever saw. Go figure.

  54. says

    I celebrate Xmas by throwing the pumpkins away, they last longer if you don’t slice them up.

    It’s a time of peace.

    I work in the retail industry, we do not get time off around Holidays.

    It’s a joyous time, I help pack the rosey cheeked children into the van with my beloved wife, and the brightly wrapped gifts, with love and seasonal merrymentia, and they go over the river and through the woods to the midwest and Gramma’s house they go.

    Then I get’s me some whiskey and a few porn tapes, and walk around nekkid all week, scratching my balls, crawling off to work, then back home to scream obscenities at the cats and ferrets because they are secretly Republican, and hopefully when the cherubs have returned to Home Sweet Home, I haven’t punched too many holes in the walls and thrown up in the closet.

  55. Hap says

    Considering how well war has gone for the Republicans lately, I wouldn’t be starting (or trying to finish any) if I were them.

  56. Nec_V20 says

    You may not know it yet but sadly Christmas has been cancelled.

    It was released today that Rudolf met with a tragic accident earlier in the year whilst training for this years festive season near the Canadian border.

    Palin shot him.

    BTW being a computer-techie I always get Halloween and Christmas mixed up, after all oct31=dec25.

  57. Mark A. Siefert says

    Here’s a t-shirt idea: “Happy Holidays! (Because the Christian Right doesn’t own the fucking month of December!)

  58. Sauceress says

    The winter solstice is certainly a time for celebration for most in the northern hemisphere, as is the summer solstice in the summer hemisphere….especially when the 25th sees temps often around the mid to high 30s in my neck of the woods(Celsius)..in between the monsoonal troughs!

    Ho Ho Fucking Ho
    http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=B5CXYrSiCUk

  59. Jenny Ashford says

    I’m a Christmas-loving atheist too. I live in Florida, so we don’t get any pretty snow or anything, but it’s usually lovely and cool, which I like, and I get to see my family, some of whom live far away. Me and my hubby exchange nice gifts and always buy something special to cook for the holiday. Plus we have cookies sometimes and sip hot chocolate. I sometimes put up a tree, if I’m not too lazy, a few weeks before the day, but since Halloween is really my favorite holiday I decorate the tree with my collection of Halloween ornaments. ‘Cause nothing says “Spirit of the Season” like a bunch of glass witches and mummies hanging from a plastic evergreen.

    I send cards out too, but I always pick ones with secular designs (usually snowflakes or cute snowmen) that say “Happy Holidays” or “Season’s Greetings.” I’m not against saying “Merry Christmas” to people if they say it to me first, but since the wackos started this whole “War on Christmas” brouhaha I always feel like there’s some other meaning behind it, so I’ll only say it to people I know aren’t really religious.

  60. Patricia says

    Well I’ll be damned, I saw you the last time I was at Sturgis, Scooter. You were doing the same tasteful things in the Buffalo Chip campground.

  61. Brad D says

    Yeah, we’ll start seeing the “Jesus is the reason for the season” billboards/bumperstickers soon here.

    If I had the money (and nothing better to spend it on) I would put up a billboard stating, “The Earth’s tilted rotational axis is the reason for the season.”

  62. snibwig says

    @lisag (#66)

    Funny you should mention stealing Easter! It’s ANOTHER pagan holiday that the christians stole to make christianity more platable to northern european pagans(funny how that works out, huh?).

    The name “Easter” actually comes from the Saxon goddess of spring/fertility if I remember correctly…

    This came up on a quick search: http://www.religioustolerance.org/easter1.htm (no idea if the site is credible or not, but the article matches what I’ve heard)

    Really we’re just stealing Yule and Easter back from the christians.

  63. Patricia says

    The Grouchy Old Bastard and I celebrate the first new minute of light of the new year. It’s fun as hell. If you are at an office you can do a countdown, and then holler and toast the event.
    The Old Farmers Almanac lists the sunrise/sunset times.

    Halloween is pagan, and so is christmas. *pffft*

  64. Wowbagger says

    Funny you should mention stealing Easter! It’s ANOTHER pagan holiday that the christians stole to make christianity more platable to northern european pagans(funny how that works out, huh?).

    Is anything in Xinanity original? Seriously, if there weren’t the hundreds of other reasons for doubting it, the fact that every aspect of it is cobbled together from other religions, classical philosophy and the cultural backwash of the societies they enslaved converted would be good enough. An omnimax god who can’t even come up with fresh idea doesn’t sound so great to me.

    Say what you like about Scientology, but at least it gets a few points for originality. Unfortunately, they’re all balanced out by the utter whackjob loonery…

  65. Silverwhistle says

    Yule/Saturnalia/Winter Solstice/Birth of Mithras/whatever: the Christians stole it, so they can’t claim proprietorial rights over it! Just as they nicked the whole dying-and-resurrected God thing, too. All their really fun mythological bits are pre-Christian.

    Here in the UK, the right-wing tabloids tend to get hysterical over alleged ‘attacks on Christmas’. The stupid example they tend to give is the fact that Birmingham Council had a ‘Winterval’ (Winter festival) a few years ago. In fact, the reason they called it this was because it covered far more than the Christmas period – November to February.