1. James says

    Proof positive of the power of prayer!

    CHECK and MATE! Atheists, I hate to say it, but you all just took some cold hard logic up your godless behinds!

  2. Barklikeadog says

    That was disturbing on so many levels. The music sucks BTW.
    It does say something….I….uh….think.?

    Oh, and #1 James, cold, hard logic? Are you for real?

  3. Janine says

    Not to be too much of a jerk here but this is old news. “Lisa’s Father(Waka Baby)” was released in 1989 on the album “Bucketfulls Of Sickness And Horror In An Otherwise Meaningless Life”. Welcome to the hardcore scene.

  4. says

    It reminds me of “I’m an Adult Now” by Pursuit of Happiness. I like the background chanting of Chick standard “haw haw” in parts.

    And I doubt James is for real. Perhaps Poe’s Law is in effect, but before I got to the name, I thought it might be Edward Current.

  5. Barklikeadog says

    I was just wondering. I’m a little slow at times and not with it, as my grown daughters point out often. I sometimes don’t get the humor. That’s what I get for submerging myself in my field. I’ve just now started to come up for air & I find it has a bad smell now. What happened to the plain old demented? Oh yeah, they’re priests and nuns. Anyone read ERV’s most recent?

  6. Leni says

    Ya I gotta second Janine. I had this in high school and I am pushing 40 now. But do they really count as hardcore? I don’t know. I think it’s kinda something else.

    Still, lol. I never knew that was a chick tract.

  7. Janine says

    Alright, not hardcore. But they were on Jello Biafra’s Alternative Tentacle label for a long time. And that does tie into one of PZ’s interests.

  8. Jennifer says

    …not just any Chick tract, but one of the sickest, creepiest Chick tracts ever.

    Uh, how do you figure? I mean, they’re all pretty damn sick and creepy.

    I used to have some links to Chick tract parodies…if I can find them I’ll post. Think most of the folks here would appreciate them.

  9. rpenner says

    The GDI test doesn’t give scores for the specific questions:
    “Should a general belief in mediation or prayer be a postive factor in deciding to lessen a criminal’s punishment?”
    “Should a specific adherence in one particular form of religious practice be a postive factor in deciding to lessen a criminal’s punishment?”

    +3000, and +10000 by my estimation.

  10. Chris Thompson says

    They left out the part where Oral Roberts comes and cures Lisa of her Herpes through the power of prayer. The POWER of prayer. The POWER of PRAYER. THE POWER OF PRAYer, THE POWER OF PRAYER you sleazy shits! THE POWAAAAAAAAHHHHHH OF PRAY-YAHHHHHHH!!!!!

    Oh right. That didn’t happen.

    Kinda like the rest of it.

  11. Leni says

    Janine wrote

    Alright, not hardcore. But they were on Jello Biafra’s Alternative Tentacle label for a long time. And that does tie into one of PZ’s interests.

    Ha! That’s true. Funny. :)

  12. Eliza says

    Wow. I’d not heard of Mr Chick before, so I googled him and looked up the ‘Lisa’ track ( if anyone wants a look), and now I feel, well… icky.
    Is this for real?
    Before I read this I was a little dubious of the whole church sheltering pedophiles thing, but here it is in black and white, if you abuse children, just pray for forgivness, and everything will be ok. No need to inform the police, or child protection agencies, your wife wont leave you, you can keep your kids and heck, you don’t even have to feel guilty!

    Hmm, am wondering if this prayer thing will work for me? Ok, so my worst vice at the moment is chocolate, and being a bit lazy, but I kind of feel guilty about it and surely god doesn’t want me to be fat? (If 10 min of prayer covers child abuse, I think i can get away with a minute or so. Sure would beat the hours of excercise i had been planning…)

  13. Barklikeadog says

    I knew about these Chick Tract comics but always passed it off as a stupid joke. But yes these peaple are for real. What kind of religion is it that forgives horrible crimes for just praying to jesus right before you die?

    Here’s the dialouge…”Oh it’s Ok you boned that lttle boy, you accepted me. He’ll go to hell because he didn’t accept me though. cause he turned to drugs or suicide because you boned him. But it’s Ok, your saved. Too bad for him though. I am a loving saviour.”

    It makes me scream inside. What are these fundies trying to do? Convivnce themselves their horrible lives are worth something? If your not already pissed off, look at this for todays date 2/4/08 about the pedophile nun.

  14. DLC says

    Bark, it’s no joke. Chick puts them out with serious intent.
    but then, he’s a sick old would-be witch-doctor.

  15. says

    I’ve seen that tract before and, like pretty much everything else Chick does, it’s idiotic.

    The funniest thing about the video is while they’re building their little altar on the TV, they’ve got a can of St. Michael Spray sitting in the middle and *I HAVE ONE!* Hehe.

  16. says

    Janine @6,

    oh, I never said it was anything new. Just stumbled across it while browsing YouTube the other night, and thought I should share it with those who’ve never seen it.

    As for you other commenters who know AD, yes, most of their stuff is a little too musicianly to be hardcore. So what? They’re great.

  17. James says

    Oh, and #1 James, cold, hard logic? Are you for real?
    Posted by: Barklikeadog | February 3, 2008 10:46 PM

    And I doubt James is for real. Perhaps Poe’s Law is in effect, but before I got to the name, I thought it might be Edward Current.
    Posted by: Tom Foss | February 3, 2008 11:03 PM

    Tom, you got it! I’m not Edward Current, just a biologist who loves his satire. I was ripping off a quote from this “War on Atheism” video:

    “Why would I wage war on these people? Well, for one, because God told me to.”

  18. ckerst says

    Wow! When did I get old? It sounds like noise and screaming. I still like the Stones and the Who but at some point Bach has also stepped in. I seem to have lost my taste for screaming rebellion.

  19. says

    Yeah. Chick tracks are pretty neat souvenirs but too common. I have some of the “chick comics” (in full-size comic book format) such as “Alberto.” That one really razzed the Catholic Church. Those are collectors’ items, and mine and in near-mint condition.

  20. says

    Freemasons just can’t get enough of the Jack Chick comics accusing us of Baphomet worship. The idea that the religious ones who pray, and have no idea to who they’re praying simply defies logic.

    And don’t even get me started on the idea that some demon hijacks the prayer, the way somebody hijacks a cable signal.

  21. says

    Jack Chick is such a nasty piece of work that I sometimes wonder if he’s really a brilliantly subversive prankster on the order of Jonathan Swift or The Yes Men. But if he were a prankster, he’d have better production values.

  22. says

    ckerst @29,

    if you think Alice Donut is all noise and screaming, buying a Butthole Surfers CD would probably not be a wise investment for you…

    “Lisa’s Father” sounds like noise and screaming because it is, for the most part, noise and screaming; it only really becomes a “song” just before the end. It is certainly not the song on which one should form an opinion of the band. They are hard and loud, but often surprisingly melodic. Try “Sky of Bones” or “Lydia’s Black Lung”, from the same album as the Chick song. You can even watch/hear the latter for free if you click through the link on my page.

    I love Alice Donut. I also love Bach (and have a lot more music from the latter than from the former, including at least six versions of the Goldberg Variations). Variety is a good thing. Of course, if the Stones/Who represent the far end of the “acceptable hardness” scale for you, you probably won’t like Alice Donut no matter much you listen to them; and you most definitely will not like the Surfers. (Not a criticism, BTW; tastes differ, that is all.)

  23. says

    And I thought the reaction from those celebrating the outcome of a certain game last night was disgusting.

    Jack Chick has no shame at all. None. I’m afraid to listen to the song because the tract it was based on was so messed up.

  24. Janine says

    Mrs Tilden, that is your blog PZ linked to? Damn, I guess I need to book mark it. You amuse me.

    Just one question, is the name you use a Kim Deal type joke? Mind you, I am not asking for your name. Just that there is a lot of humor in what you post.

  25. says

    It’s so weird that you posted this, I just found a Jack Chick tract on the train on the way to work.
    It’s called “The Little Bride” and it’s about the dangers of Islam. It features a grandpa who looks like the boss from Harvey Birdman. Also, it teaches that Jebus created the world in 6 days and that all it takes to become Muslim is to say a few words.
    Anyway, awesome blog.

  26. milkbone says

    If nothing else, I loved that video because the guy at the beginning, the narrator of the video is Tom Meltzer, who left Alice Donut before they recorded their first album and became the lead singer/songwriter of the utterly charming NYC country-rock band Five Chinese Brothers. Every woman I took to see them fell in love with him.

  27. says

    Janine @36,

    thanks for your kind words. I’m afraid my website is pretty vestigial and rarely updated these days, though. But if you find something in the archives that amuses you, my work will not have been in vain.

    As for your other point, Kim Deal has always been a personal hero of mine.