God speaks to the Idiot-in-Chief

If you’ve got a high tolerance for nonsense, you might want to check out 50 religious insights from George W. Bush. The man is a regular mullah, full of deep insights. I rather like juxtaposing these two:

I’m also mindful that man should never try to put words in God’s mouth. I mean, we should never ascribe natural disasters or anything else to God. We are in no way, shape, or form should a human being, play God. Washington, D.C., Jan. 14, 2005

I am driven with a mission from God. God would tell me, ‘George go and fight these terrorists in Afghanistan’. And I did. And then God would tell me ‘George, go and end the tyranny in Iraq’. And I did. Sharm el-Sheikh August 2003

There are 48 more. Also useful as an emetic.

I might believe god is actually talking to George, but he’s been looking in all the wrong places and getting all the wrong messages. Look to the skies, W, look to the skies! God has something to say to you!


(Hat tip to the irregulars at After the Bar Closes, and to Denis for the appropriate photo)


  1. Coragyps says

    “Also useful as an emetic.”

    Too strong. Five gallons of Syrup of Ipecac would be milder.

  2. says

    “5. I tell people all the time, you’re equally American if you’re a Christian, Jew, or Muslim. You’re equally American if you believe in an Almighty or don’t believe in an Almighty. That’s a sacred freedom.
    Washington, D.C., Mar. 10, 2006”

    Tell that to your dad, Dubya.

  3. Karen says

    I used to point out statements like these to friends who were still trying to rationalize their support of Bush. Now, they’re as scared as I am – and he’s STILL not being held accountable for anything.

    I almost think we could handle it via some insanity charge. Those quotes are frightening.

  4. Ex Patriot says

    I only hope the U.S. can survive another 15 months with this idiot at the helm.It will be a hard 15 months!!!

  5. Steve_C says

    Just think…

    We were one corn chip away from the end to out national nightmare. If Cheney had become president there would have no hesitations to impeach the bastard.

  6. Curt Cameron says

    I believe the quote about God telling him to go out and fight the terrorists in Afghanistan and Iraq is disputed.

  7. zeekster says

    23. And I just — I cannot speak strongly enough about how we must collectively get after those who kill in the name of — in the name of some kind of false religion.
    Press appearance with King Abdullah of Jordan, Aug. 1, 2002

    This one scares me the most. He specifies that a religion that isn’t his is false. Ah. Perspective.

  8. says

    As I’ve been saying, I’m damn glad I have the chance to outlive this dumb son-of-a-bitch we have masquerading as a president. I eagerly await the day when I will be allowed to spit upon the dead bastard’s grave.

  9. raven says

    ‘Spake,’ god spake unto him. Of course it could just be ‘dry drunk’ psychoses.

    Who says he is a dry drunk? There are periodic reports that he has been hitting the bottle again. I have no way of determining whether those reports are accurate or just the products of his “fan club.”

    OTOH, if he was off the wagon, could anyone really tell the difference?

  10. skyotter says

    that list is pretty well padded with platitudes that could hardly be called “religious insights” — i’m only on #17 and i’ve found three …

    oh gods, i’m nearly defending the man. sorry, i’ll stop

  11. Globle Warren Terrism says

    You’ve got me convinced. I will never try cocaine. It’s a brain poison for sure.

  12. says

    This is a man, with a finger on the button, listening to voices in his head. What’s wrong with this picture?
    Posted by: Branedy

    He’s still alive.

  13. Kseniya says

    Yup, Alan, $145 per month per child for health care was just waaay too much to ask or the American taxpayer here in The Greatest Country In The World™.

    Ok, when I say “American taxpayer” I’m not being completely honest: the extra funding was to have come from a significant increase to the Federal cigarette tax. (There’s some kind of weird irony there.) That isn’t exactly fair and balanced taxation. However, AFAIK, President Bush did not object to the bill on those grounds.

    If the cost increase were to be funded by an income tax increase, the average cost per taxpayer (including corporations) would be $50 per year.

    Of the four Bush vetos, one was to this health care funding bill, and two related to Federal funding of stem cell research. How many vetos did he exercise prior to the mid-term elections of ’06? None? One, maybe? Well, being a Uniter and not a Divider, he didn’t need them (until the Dems took back the majority in Congress) and hey, why bother with vetos when you can can issue signing statements? He broke the bank on those.

  14. Janine says

    I don’t think you order suiciders to kill innocent men, women, and children if you’re a religious person.
    Fond Du Lac, Wisconsin, Jul. 14, 2004

    Yeah, it is those damned sneaky atheists who are ordering it. Don’t we atheists have any sense of morality?

    I guess I should not bring up all of the innocent men, women and children who have been killed as a direct result of the invasion that was ordered by the most faithful of leaders.

  15. wombat says

    I think it should be noted that there is no independent confirmation or recording of the Sharm el-Sheikh 2nd hand quote. The Whitehouse denied he made any such statement after it was reported in the Palestinian media. We should be cautious of unattributed quotes and be as accurate as we can. Misinformation can be quite easily used to discredit other more well founded criticism. There really is not reason to use unverifiable quotes. The properly sourced and attributed ones are bad enough.

  16. Kseniya says

    I read somewhere that the quotes were possibly the result of English-Arabic-English translations. It’s idiomatic in Arabic to attribute all sorts of thoughts and actions to Allah, just as we often say “goddamn” or “god only knows” even when we’re not really talking about god at all…

    Here’s an interesting take on the story.

  17. stogoe says

    We were one corn chip away from the end to out national nightmare.

    I think you’re wrong here. It was a pretzel. The bravest little pretzel soldier that ever lived. And even though his mission failed, he tried his hardest and he gave his life in the service of this country.

    His story comes to theaters (in full CGI) fall 2016.

  18. Ichthyic says

    for those that didn’t manage to make it to the end of the list… those are just his “best” religious quotations.

    the place it came from has been holding idiotic quote polls for GW for years now.

    here’s the list of past winners:


    my personal favorite:

    A political candidate who jumps to conclusions without knowing the facts is not a person you want as your Commander-in-Chief.

  19. Ichthyic says

    I guess that means God is an illiterate prick.

    ah, good thing there is no god then; we have quite enough illiterate pricks as it is.

  20. J Myers says

    Not so fast, Ichthyic–#31 may actually the most convincing apologetic I’ve ever encountered (it is, after all, consistent with what we know of God from other sources).

  21. says

    Look to the skies, W, look to the skies! God has something to say to you!

    If God really exists, there’d be at least a good chance of a diarrheic pigeon flying by.

  22. Ichthyic says

    ah, here’s another Shrub classic:

    Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.

    I do so love irony.

  23. Hank Roberts says

    “Which part of ‘George, go and end the tyranny in Vietnam’ didn’t you understand, George? I said “go” and you didn’t.”

  24. Simon Packer says

    Widespread speaking contemptuously about authority is a Biblical sign of the last days. I am pretty certain that the angry immature voices here would be less reliable in power than Bush. 2 Peter 2v10 describes you nicely, presumeably from your language you also fall into the other vices mentioned. Repent, and believe, the Kingdom of God is near.

  25. says

    “we should never ascribe natural disasters or anything else to God”

    Awesome! The President-Ayatollah tells us that no phenomena may ever be explained with reference to a divinity!

  26. Arnosium Upinarum says

    Simon Packer #42: “I am pretty certain that the angry immature voices here would be less reliable in power than Bush.”

    “Pretty certain” of that, aye? “Less reliable IN POWER”, AYE?

    SP: “Widespread speaking contemptuously about authority is a Biblical sign of the last days.”

    Oh, you mean like around Palestine a few THOUSAND YEARS AGO during the Roman occupation?

    Repent, and believe, sir: thou art a Fool worthy of the very highest standard.

  27. Simon Packer says

    Yes, being a fool in the eyes of the world was also a Biblical prediction, indeed exhortation, 1 Cor 3v18. Admittedly, it should be for the right reasons.

    The fool is the one who thinks mans prevailing opinions, as against God’s revealed truth, are reliable to live by.

    Respect for authority should not be unconditional, and the acquiescence of the church in Nazi Germany was not right, though understandable given the level of intimidation in the country. The behaviour of Bush is not really in the same category. If Islamic extremists explode a nuke in the US, you can guarantee people will start to say, or at least realise, that Bush should have been more proactive towards potential threats. This does not mean he got Iraq completely right.

    I repeat, repent for the Kingdom of God is near. That is the important issue.

  28. True Bob says

    Aside, if I were King (a la shrubco) I would be much more consistent and humane about my actions.

    Rejoice! Thor shall soon slay Jörmungandr!

  29. True Bob says

    though understandable given the level of intimidation in the country. The behaviour of Bush is not really in the same category

    Didja know that the Blackwater Mercenary Group just got itself a piece of a $15B contract – drug enforcement, through the DOD (WTF?). Coming to a neighborhood near you. But nobody could predict the coming level of intimidation.


  30. says

    Simon, I am enthralled. Please, do go on telling us what other predictions in the bible come true.

    Wait, here’s one by ol’ JC himself: “Verily I say unto you, There be some standing here, which shall not taste of death, till they see the Son of man coming in his kingdom.” (Matthew 16:28).

    Which is your favourite make-believe answer that explains why Jesus can’t work the scheduling function on his blackberry? Is it one of those “if you believed in God, you’d understand how this isn’t a failed prophesy but a metaphorical message that shows you how important it is to believe in God”-type or do you go in for the full-on anti-semitic Wandering Jew explanation?

    Never mind. We can’t hear you anyway as your words are all muffled. I suggest you’d be better off checking for polyps than posting here while your head is shoved up there.