If you’ve got a high tolerance for nonsense, you might want to check out 50 religious insights from George W. Bush. The man is a regular mullah, full of deep insights. I rather like juxtaposing these two:
I’m also mindful that man should never try to put words in God’s mouth. I mean, we should never ascribe natural disasters or anything else to God. We are in no way, shape, or form should a human being, play God. Washington, D.C., Jan. 14, 2005
I am driven with a mission from God. God would tell me, ‘George go and fight these terrorists in Afghanistan’. And I did. And then God would tell me ‘George, go and end the tyranny in Iraq’. And I did. Sharm el-Sheikh August 2003
There are 48 more. Also useful as an emetic.
I might believe god is actually talking to George, but he’s been looking in all the wrong places and getting all the wrong messages. Look to the skies, W, look to the skies! God has something to say to you!
(Hat tip to the irregulars at After the Bar Closes, and to Denis for the appropriate photo)
Ian B Gibson says
Hey – just imagine how ignorant and stupid he was before he went to Yale..
Hipple, Rev. Paul T. says
That’s the CLOUD giving the finger to God. God would never give the finger to President George Bush.
“Also useful as an emetic.”
Too strong. Five gallons of Syrup of Ipecac would be milder.
True Bob says
More useful as a snotrag.
‘Spake,’ god spake unto him. Of course it could just be ‘dry drunk’ psychoses.
“5. I tell people all the time, you’re equally American if you’re a Christian, Jew, or Muslim. You’re equally American if you believe in an Almighty or don’t believe in an Almighty. That’s a sacred freedom.
Washington, D.C., Mar. 10, 2006”
Tell that to your dad, Dubya.
I used to point out statements like these to friends who were still trying to rationalize their support of Bush. Now, they’re as scared as I am – and he’s STILL not being held accountable for anything.
I almost think we could handle it via some insanity charge. Those quotes are frightening.
Only 15 more months, people. Hang in there.
‘George, go and end the tyranny in Iraq’
I wonder what God’s thoughts are on the tyranny in the US.
Ex Patriot says
I only hope the U.S. can survive another 15 months with this idiot at the helm.It will be a hard 15 months!!!
We were one corn chip away from the end to out national nightmare. If Cheney had become president there would have no hesitations to impeach the bastard.
our and been…
that’s what’s missing in the post above.
Curt Cameron says
I believe the quote about God telling him to go out and fight the terrorists in Afghanistan and Iraq is disputed.
23. And I just — I cannot speak strongly enough about how we must collectively get after those who kill in the name of — in the name of some kind of false religion.
Press appearance with King Abdullah of Jordan, Aug. 1, 2002
This one scares me the most. He specifies that a religion that isn’t his is false. Ah. Perspective.
I wonder if god told him “George, go make sure millions of kids in your own country don’t have any health coverage” Way to go loving compassionate omnipotent magic man.
This is a man, with a finger on the button, listening to voices in his head. What’s wrong with this picture?
As I’ve been saying, I’m damn glad I have the chance to outlive this dumb son-of-a-bitch we have masquerading as a president. I eagerly await the day when I will be allowed to spit upon the dead bastard’s grave.
Who says he is a dry drunk? There are periodic reports that he has been hitting the bottle again. I have no way of determining whether those reports are accurate or just the products of his “fan club.”
OTOH, if he was off the wagon, could anyone really tell the difference?
that list is pretty well padded with platitudes that could hardly be called “religious insights” — i’m only on #17 and i’ve found three …
oh gods, i’m nearly defending the man. sorry, i’ll stop
Globle Warren Terrism says
You’ve got me convinced. I will never try cocaine. It’s a brain poison for sure.
He’s still alive.
Yup, Alan, $145 per month per child for health care was just waaay too much to ask or the American taxpayer here in The Greatest Country In The World™.
Ok, when I say “American taxpayer” I’m not being completely honest: the extra funding was to have come from a significant increase to the Federal cigarette tax. (There’s some kind of weird irony there.) That isn’t exactly fair and balanced taxation. However, AFAIK, President Bush did not object to the bill on those grounds.
If the cost increase were to be funded by an income tax increase, the average cost per taxpayer (including corporations) would be $50 per year.
Of the four Bush vetos, one was to this health care funding bill, and two related to Federal funding of stem cell research. How many vetos did he exercise prior to the mid-term elections of ’06? None? One, maybe? Well, being a Uniter and not a Divider, he didn’t need them (until the Dems took back the majority in Congress) and hey, why bother with vetos when you can can issue signing statements? He broke the bank on those.
Yeah, it is those damned sneaky atheists who are ordering it. Don’t we atheists have any sense of morality?
I guess I should not bring up all of the innocent men, women and children who have been killed as a direct result of the invasion that was ordered by the most faithful of leaders.
I think it should be noted that there is no independent confirmation or recording of the Sharm el-Sheikh 2nd hand quote. The Whitehouse denied he made any such statement after it was reported in the Palestinian media. We should be cautious of unattributed quotes and be as accurate as we can. Misinformation can be quite easily used to discredit other more well founded criticism. There really is not reason to use unverifiable quotes. The properly sourced and attributed ones are bad enough.
Bush is getting the band back together?
I read somewhere that the quotes were possibly the result of English-Arabic-English translations. It’s idiomatic in Arabic to attribute all sorts of thoughts and actions to Allah, just as we often say “goddamn” or “god only knows” even when we’re not really talking about god at all…
Here’s an interesting take on the story.
I think you’re wrong here. It was a pretzel. The bravest little pretzel soldier that ever lived. And even though his mission failed, he tried his hardest and he gave his life in the service of this country.
His story comes to theaters (in full CGI) fall 2016.
Roland Gold says
Aye, the salted-snack of the earth, wuz he.
Chris for the win. The visual for that is just too funny.
for those that didn’t manage to make it to the end of the list… those are just his “best” religious quotations.
the place it came from has been holding idiotic quote polls for GW for years now.
here’s the list of past winners:
my personal favorite:
2. I trust God speaks through me.
I guess that means God is an illiterate prick.
I guess that means God is an illiterate prick.
ah, good thing there is no god then; we have quite enough illiterate pricks as it is.
Totally OT, but as a PIRATE lover, you might like to see the latest styles.
Maybe a bit distracting at work.
J Myers says
Not so fast, Ichthyic–#31 may actually the most convincing apologetic I’ve ever encountered (it is, after all, consistent with what we know of God from other sources).
John Pieret says
If God really exists, there’d be at least a good chance of a diarrheic pigeon flying by.
Monado, close, very close FCD says
Why does God have six finger? (OK, five fingers and a thumb.) Is She a panda?
ah, here’s another Shrub classic:
I do so love irony.
Chris D'Costa says
John Pieret said: “If God really exists, there’d be at least a good chance of a diarrheic pigeon flying by.”
In that case, here’s proof of God’s existence:
David Harmon says
#37: What irony? Occasionally he can’t be bothered to lie….
Grace RN says
re:”The man is a regular mullah, full of “…bull-a!
Hank Roberts says
“Which part of ‘George, go and end the tyranny in Vietnam’ didn’t you understand, George? I said “go” and you didn’t.”
Simon Packer says
Widespread speaking contemptuously about authority is a Biblical sign of the last days. I am pretty certain that the angry immature voices here would be less reliable in power than Bush. 2 Peter 2v10 describes you nicely, presumeably from your language you also fall into the other vices mentioned. Repent, and believe, the Kingdom of God is near.
Martin R says
“we should never ascribe natural disasters or anything else to God”
Awesome! The President-Ayatollah tells us that no phenomena may ever be explained with reference to a divinity!
Arnosium Upinarum says
Simon Packer #42: “I am pretty certain that the angry immature voices here would be less reliable in power than Bush.”
“Pretty certain” of that, aye? “Less reliable IN POWER”, AYE?
SP: “Widespread speaking contemptuously about authority is a Biblical sign of the last days.”
Oh, you mean like around Palestine a few THOUSAND YEARS AGO during the Roman occupation?
Repent, and believe, sir: thou art a Fool worthy of the very highest standard.
True Bob says
SP, thanks for explaining the churches’ roles in the Holocaust.
Simon Packer says
Yes, being a fool in the eyes of the world was also a Biblical prediction, indeed exhortation, 1 Cor 3v18. Admittedly, it should be for the right reasons.
The fool is the one who thinks mans prevailing opinions, as against God’s revealed truth, are reliable to live by.
Respect for authority should not be unconditional, and the acquiescence of the church in Nazi Germany was not right, though understandable given the level of intimidation in the country. The behaviour of Bush is not really in the same category. If Islamic extremists explode a nuke in the US, you can guarantee people will start to say, or at least realise, that Bush should have been more proactive towards potential threats. This does not mean he got Iraq completely right.
I repeat, repent for the Kingdom of God is near. That is the important issue.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present you…
THE VILLAGE IDIOT.
Take a bow Packer.
Rob Jase says
Simon, the prophets in your bible are about as reliable as the late Criswell and much less entertaining.
True Bob says
Aside, if I were King (a la shrubco) I would be much more consistent and humane about my actions.
Rejoice! Thor shall soon slay Jörmungandr!
True Bob says
Didja know that the Blackwater Mercenary Group just got itself a piece of a $15B contract – drug enforcement, through the DOD (WTF?). Coming to a neighborhood near you. But nobody could predict the coming level of intimidation.
Simon, I am enthralled. Please, do go on telling us what other predictions in the bible come true.
Wait, here’s one by ol’ JC himself: “Verily I say unto you, There be some standing here, which shall not taste of death, till they see the Son of man coming in his kingdom.” (Matthew 16:28).
Which is your favourite make-believe answer that explains why Jesus can’t work the scheduling function on his blackberry? Is it one of those “if you believed in God, you’d understand how this isn’t a failed prophesy but a metaphorical message that shows you how important it is to believe in God”-type or do you go in for the full-on anti-semitic Wandering Jew explanation?
Never mind. We can’t hear you anyway as your words are all muffled. I suggest you’d be better off checking for polyps than posting here while your head is shoved up there.