Gather ’round, children, and dear old Unca Jack will explain to you how the dinosaurs went extinct. It’s not how you think. There were no meteors or comets, no egg-eating mammals, no saurian pandemics. It’s because so many plants died in the great flood.
And then, you see, since only the dinosaurs were afflicted with this oxygen deficit, God’s chosen people could then run around with pointy sticks and kill them all as they tried to hide in the clouds on mountaintops.
Isn’t that sweet and heartwarming? God saved the beautiful dinos so they could gasp and choke and suffer while little people slaughtered them. From this we learn that God loves all the creatures great and small, but he especially loves the ones who say “HAW!” when the butchery begins.
The Chick theory may also have some synergy with the Larsonite Extinction Hypothesis, which would help explain the remarkable specificity of the oxygen problem.