Cretaceous Eschatology

I’m a bit reluctant to post this, because … what if they actually start using this argument? Maybe mass extinctions are actually evidence of a prior Rapture.


This would mean, of course, that the Tertiary corresponds to the Tribulation, and we should prepare for the return of Jesus Rex.


  1. Josh says

    It still leaves us with that pesky little sedimentological problem of all dinosaurs distinctly NOT being in the same stratigraphic horizon.

  2. Schmeer says

    So does this mean that the Rapture has already occurred? I would assume that unless there’s a second round of rapturin’ all the devout are a wee bit too late.

  3. says

    Could be a big selling point in Sunday School — “Look, Timmy, there are even DINOSAURS in Heaven, but there won’t be any in Hell, only scientists go to Hell”.

  4. says

    But would they have to electrify the Pearly Gates to make sure none of them got out? I guess not, since we all know that Tyrannosaurus would be picking coconuts with its feeble arms and cracking them open with its jaws…

  5. Janine says

    I don’t care if it rains or freezes
    Long as I have my Raptor Jesus
    Sitting on the dashboard of my car…

    Sing along everybody!

  6. says

    Wow, you know…I think I would actually be more inclined to be content with a religion that openly espoused claims of a Dinosaur Rapture. That’s sort of in the same realm as my feeling that I’d rather live in a world ruled by the Flying Spaghetti Monster than by the Judeo-Christian God. If somehow the FSM, Raptor Jesus, and the Dino Rapture could all be combined, I might just be tempted to convert.

  7. Gimpy says

    I doubt we have to worry about the creationists latching on to this one. They’re quite fond of believing that there is something special about humans that sets them apart from all other species, and I don’t think they’d be too fond of sharing that spot.

  8. xebecs says

    So, a Stegosaurus, a Utahraptor and a Pterodactyl arrive at the Pearly Gates, and the Stegosaurus says to Peter…

    Best joke completion gets my vote for the next Molly.

  9. jimi 45 says

    Technically speaking, Christians already look forward to the return of Jesus Rex, since “rex” is Latin for “king,” and kingship is a common Christian trope. ;D

    Now, Raptor Jesus–that’d be a stretch.

  10. says


    (deep breath)


    well done.

  11. Mooser says

    I got creationists all figured out. They mistake the process of scientific and technological progress, which we describe with the metaphor “evolutionary”, for the evolutionary process in nature. They are, as you all know, not the same thing at all. But ironically, creationists use this “evolution” as a pattern for natural evolution. Without ever realising that the process which powers technological and scientific progress, which they accept every time they fly or go to the doctor, is the same process used to detect and codify and quantify evolution. Since technological “evolution” is the only kind they understand (in that things change and seem to improve) they can’t conceive of change driven any other way. There has to be a “designer” and “builder” or nothing would change, or even work in the first place.
    It’s flattering, but it’s screwy.

  12. says

    I just wanted to say that I’m a Christian, and I think this cartoon is absolutely hilarious! Not all of us are stuffy reactionaries with no sense of humor.

    By the way, I do tend to disagree with you on most issues, but hey… funny is funny.

  13. Dr Paisley says

    Tyrannosaurus Christ

    That would have to be the most misshapen cross evar, to get His tiny little arms nailed up properly.

  14. Lars Dietz says

    Apparently, two “theologians” named Royce and Zolot think that the dinos were satanic creatures that were destroyed by god, and that the meteorite was Satan himself hurled to Earth by God! They also seem to claim that the Book of Revelation is a description of this. Seee Donna Kossy’s summary of their book at:

  15. says

    My favorite disproof of evolution, explaining all about the layers the dinosaurs were found in. . .

    This guy is a hoot!

  16. mena says

    God is a prokaryote and created life in its image? Hmmm, maybe there *is* something to that flagellum thing…

  17. Drekab says

    So, a Stegosaurus, a Utahraptor and a Pterodactyl arrive at the Pearly Gates, and the Stegosaurus says to Peter…

    “Jesus Christ, a Raptor!!”

    see, cause there’s a raptor there, but also Jesus is a Raptor eh, eh. My other ideas include a play on Mormanism cause, you know, the Utah bit. thanks for the nomination xebecs :)

    De-Fault, De-Fault!!