Fred Phelps is coming to Minnesota to protest the funerals of those killed in the 35W bridge collapse. This is more than a little ridiculous, besides being hateful. Apparently, any death for any cause is actually the result of a vengeful act of God, and is a message against gays.
I wonder what happens on the day a blood clot stops Phelps’ black and shriveled lump of cardiac muscle. Will his followers stand around at his funeral, howling about damned fags and fag enablers?
The craziest thing about Phelps (aside from every other crazy thing) is that he believes only he and his family will make it into heaven. From that premise, it’s difficult to see why anyone would follow him. Unless they’re just trying to get close enough to marry into that bloodline of hatred.
I can’t imagine a more vile little scumbag than Phelps.
How long until we find out he’s a closet-case like Haggard?
Nothing says denial like projecting your neurotic self-loathing onto other people.
actually i’m not sure that’s true. From what i’ve heard he’s a calvinist and thinks that it’s been predetermined who will go to hell and who won’t. Which makes all of his protests completely meaningless.
And ya know what’s extra weird about him? He was a civil rights attorney! According to him atleast, he brought down the Jim Crow laws and won an award from the NAACP because of all the black clients he represented.
By what actions do they believe they’re alone in earning that ‘reward’? I’ve never heard them say anything besides “God Hates Fags and Fag-Enablers.” Surely God asks more of his followers. Otherwise, why is the Bible so long, when the only important message can be written on a T-shirt?
Brownian wrote:
Well said, Brownian.
The only thing that will stop him is if the media (and blogs, etc.) stop reporting on him. That’s what he wants (I see what he does the same way I see neo-nazi rallies – they just want attention and I’d rather they not receive any). Let law enforcement take care of it if they’re doing anything illegal (protesting without a license or disturbing the peace).
n/m. I thought I had read that somewhere, but I can’t find anything to support that, so I take it back. Wikipedia does say:
but that’s not quite what I was saying, I guess.
A recent Westboro foray into my fair city was less than impressive. Four people, including one child, picketed for less than an hour.
Sometimes I think that Phelps is just trying to be hateful, so someone will ban him or strike him at a funeral, and then they can sue for tons of money.
When he finally chokes on a chicken wing…
they should have a massive gay kiss-in at his funeral.
200 gays and lesbians sucking face as he’s lowered into the ground.
What would be more apropos?
An orgy on Jesse Helms burial plot (please let that be soon).
Anyone thats studied the “by bull” (bible) should know that
only a 144,000 people will actually go to heaven and they
are all Jehovah’s Witnesses,so Mr Phelps is SOL!!!
The rest of us are completly fucked
When you get right down to it, how different really is this message from the John Piper message you posted on yesterday? It’s just that Phelps focuses on only one reason for God to hate someone and want him dead, when Piper can think of all KINDS of reasons–including the biggest of all: just being human. Pipers little Calvinist god has Munchausens by Proxy: predestines humans to be sick so he can swoop in to save us, and then get all praise and honor for doing so. We’re the animatronic marital aids in the trinity’s little circle jerk.
Sorry, wandered way off the path. Phelps bad. Me no like.
Even though it’s kind of counterproductive to the whole ‘Ignore trolls’ thing, I wish the Patriod Guard would show up. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patriot_Guard
Were any of the bridge victims veterans?
I don’t think it will ever happen. Fred’s made a pact with the underworld to keep his carcass alive supernaturally. Of course, being an ignorant jerk he forgot to include eternal youth in his bargain. So he’ll just keep getting older, uglier and more senile. (How else would YOU explain his appearance and mental condition?)
Finally, he’ll start chanting, “Braaaaiiiinnsss” and will end up eating his flock.
Our only possible salvation is a small but determined band of zombie hunters!
How long until we find out he’s a closet-case like Haggard?
You’re not the only one who’s wondered:
http://www.barzelay.net/files/images/other/phelps.jpg
Hmm. Protesting at the funeral of Fred Phelps. Sounds like fun. Would it be ungodly of me to hope that the opportunity will soon arise? Probably. Do I care? Oh, not much.
Actually, I kinda admire Phelps in a sick way– he’s read the Bible, he appears to be following it to the letter as he understands it, and he’s making no attempt whatsoever to bring people into his “flock”.
On the contrary, he rapidly disassociates himself from anyone unfit, unworthy, impure, etc– more or less exactly what his god asks. As sick as his behavior is in a civil sense, I’m impressed to find at least a few religious people whose beliefs hold some sort of internal consistency, and who will stick with them regardless of how harsh a life it causes them to lead.
Folks like Phelps are easily dismissed, but if you consider them differently, you can see how helpful they actually are: as a tremendously effective marker on the far-fringes of where the religious continuum leads.
I think it is time for some of the mourners at picketed funerals to step up and take action. I do not think it inappropriate to set aside one’s grief to express an opinion, and I cannot think of a better way to express that opinion than with carefully aimed, urine-filled water balloons.
DaveX,
I’m not sure “admire” is quite the right word for your observation. I think it’s more like you appreciate the illustration he provides for how sick people can appear to the rest of us if you follow the Bible to the letter.
I appreciate his illustration of how twisted the Bible fairy tale is.
The longer Fred’s out there, the more people turn away from the message of the Bible. He will eventually die at one of his protests. When that happens, you’ll be sickened by the number of people out there who come out to mourn him.
—–
Fred, this obscene display of yours is an insult to everyone in Minnesota. In fact, I consider your life an insult. But, keep living; you’re doing a lot of damage to your own cause. I don’t want to be in your Heaven.
So all those people who have died over the millenia — were their deaths also due to modern, 20th century homosexuality?
I guess it makes sense — as well to punish people for something not their fault that will happen after their lives are over as for something not their fault that happened before they were born.
An appropriate protest sign, “Phuck Phelps”.
Greg Peterson:
“Sorry, wandered way off the path. Phelps bad. Me no like.
That’s OK, Greg. Me no like ’em either. Crack about circle jerk was priceless. Can I use it in a song lyric?
Just as long as he dresses appropriately. Full metal jacket would be appropriate, but a simple bow would be all right.
If say by chance Phelps is right, what does that say about his God?
Wouldn’t God in all his power just smash the entire country with his big nicotine stained thumb and be done with all us fag-enablers?
Or is it that God is just incompetent and only manages to cause these relatively small scale dispatching of the sinners and fag lovers?
Doesn’t say much about him either way does it?
Greg Peterson wrote:
Phelps’ message may be even more similar to Piper’s than you think. I once watched a special on the Phelps clan and was surprised to see that the Westboro Baptist Church had a Calvinist “TULIP” sign in it. This one’s a human-hating Calvinist God, too.
In answer to the reporter’s questions on whether their tactics might be “counterproductive” in trying to convince Americans to change their lenient attitudes towards gays, the family would roll their eyes and complain that he just doesn’t get it. They’re NOT trying to get Americans to change anything. They’re NOT trying to persuade.
So what the heck are they doing? They’re displaying their obedience to God, to God Himself. This is the same mindset that admits that preaching the gospel changes nothing, since those who are saved are saved and those who are damned are damned, no matter what they do. One preaches the gospel partly in order to demonstrate a person’s rejection of God, or reveal a person’s existing relationship to God, to the person preached — but mostly to display obedience to a pointless command.
From what I can figure out, in protesting and shouting at funerals, the Phelps clan is — according to their own theology — only digging a hole which will be filled up later, in order to do it.
Why the f!ck do we allow this twit to continue his twisted assaults on innocents?
Seriously. Isn’t there a way we can launch him into LEO and let him free-fall back in or something?
For just one moment in his life, he’d actually be doing something worth seeing.
Fred Phelps is CRAZY . I saw one of his family members recently on Faux and so I looked up their website. I think its GodHateAmerica.com. Anyway…I got their phone number because I emailed them acting like I was a journalist. I haven’t called yet…but I’m going to someday. Just trying to find the perfect ploy. Any suggestions?
I’m with DaveX on this one.
If you understand his theology, of course he’s going to protest this. His argument is that we are living in Sodom. That God Hates America and that all of bad things that happen are God’s Righteous Judgment(tm). He’s five points Calvinist. And isn’t there to convert you exactly, telling you about God’s hate as they are told to do in the Bible. In reality, they aren’t preaching, they are praising. They are saying that you *ARE* doomed, and that it is too late for you… and they praising God for this judgment.
I admire them. They annoy real people, but they are perhaps the most non-cherry-picking Christians ever. I think Phelps really does know much more about the Bible than most other religious leaders. They are also non-violent, so all they have is words. They don’t say that they hate anybody. They say that God hates X, Thank God for X. Really, that’s a pretty interesting line they don’t cross.
For a bit, I thought Phelps was a little bit to the right of the God in the Bible by suggesting that all bad things are Gods Judgment, but after listening to his arguments, he’s right. Anybody who says that God doesn’t condemn an entire people for the acts of a few within the population hasn’t read the Bible. It happens many times in the Bible.
When we say that Christians cherrypick the Bible, and that that cherrypicking is what makes them moral, rather than than the parts of the Bible they do accept. That using one’s innate moral sense to ignore “God’s Law” is really what is the source for their morals. Well… Phelps doesn’t do that. He takes the whole thing.
Couple interesting points:
There aren’t any more Jim Crow laws in Kansas because during the 1980s the Phelps went after them and had a number of the laws stuck down.
There’s no God Hates Atheists site made by the Phelps because they don’t think atheists are dishonest. If you don’t believe in God and know what you’re doing, there’s no argument there. But, the Christians who say they believe in the Bible, but don’t… ooph!
My only argument against them: Believe in the Bible.
“Otherwise, why is the Bible so long, when the only important message can be written on a T-shirt?”
Actually, it’s that the only thing most people can hold in their tiny widdle bwains fits on a T shirt.
Oddly, if people physically attacked the Phelps more often the police would have grounds to deny them their first amendment rights.
>>Why the f!ck do we allow this twit to continue his twisted assaults on innocents?
The first amendment
Their religious belief is that God would drown an entire planet filled with people because of some sin and only save one small little family on a boat. That honestly, God punishes the innocents as well as the guilty, because it’s in the Bible (repeatedly).
>>Wouldn’t God in all his power just smash the entire country with his big nicotine stained thumb and be done with all us fag-enablers?
He is, he’s just taking his time. They view themselves as Lot’s family. Where really they get to speak against the sin for a while before it gets to the smiting.
>>on counterproductive
Yeah, they aren’t trying to productive, they are trying to do exactly what it says they should do in the Bible. The fact is that they have probably done a lot for gay right in this country. Nothing brings people together like being hated by the same people. Nothing is more useful than comparing Bible believing Christians who use their Bibles to say gays are bad to Fred Phelps who does *EXACTLY* the same thing.
Also, I don’t think being called “fag-enabler” is that bad. Really, I support gay marriage, full rights and an end to discriminations. I daresay I’m trying my best to enable. There are only religious arguments against the idea, which is to say that there are no good arguments against the idea.
LOC that number is probably worthless by now. They change it pretty often. Apparently they get a lot of death-threats for a non-violent protest group.
Smn nds t tk gd sht t ths fckng frks, wldn’t t b nc t s thr fckng brn mttr ll vr th dmn rd?
hll yh!
That might be going a little far anonymous.
I take zero offense in being called a “fag enabler”.
Warren says, “Seriously. Isn’t there a way we can launch him into LEO and let him free-fall back in or something? For just one moment in his life, he’d actually be doing something worth seeing.”
Hilarious! It would be expensive, but strangely satisfying and therefore worth the expense to watch as his brain encounters the reality of 18,000 mph gas molecules impinging upon it…yowsa
I wonder what happens on the day a blood clot stops Phelps’ black and shriveled lump of cardiac muscle. Will his followers stand around at his funeral, howling about damned fags and fag enablers?
I would be tempted to declare it a secular holiday!
Break out the brass band and make some noise!
One less fuckhead soiling the planet. Woohoo!
I think folks should just leave them be, especially all those pushing physical confrontation. I saw a short documentary about them a while back, with footage where one of the kids in the family (who was holding a sign he probably couldn’t even read yet) took a pop can to the forehead. Poor kid– his family is full of bible-freaks, and he’s getting hit in the head as well! It was actually pretty damn sad, looked like it really hurt.
Advocating violence against people with different beliefs is a slippery road– and while it looks fairly cut-and-dry with the Phelps clan, I’m curious how anyone rationalizes cutting the violence at certain points along the line.
If one of his followers doesn’t stand around at Fred Phelps’ funeral railing about God hating faggery, then you can be assured that some prankster pretending to be one of his followers will be doing it. It’ll probably be a prankster with sufficient skill at impersonating insane crank-addled shitfiends that the distinction will be entirely superficial.
You can’t hurt Fred Phelps by pointing out that he is a sadist who runs a cult of hate (as if he didn’t know this already). Phelps loves to be hated — that’s why he pickets the funerals of innocents. The only way to hurt him is to ignore him utterly. Of course, our nature and culture being what they are, that is exactly the thing we cannot do.
When I thought that the Phelps Clan was only targetting gays with their God-directed hatred, I thought they were disgusting.
Then I found out exactly how much hatred the Phelps Clan thinks God has for the world – God hates pretty much everyone and everything about the world in the doctrine of Phelps. How can anyone take them seriously? God hates fags. God hates soldiers. God hates people who randomly happen to be driving on a particular bridge on a particular day. God hates America. God hates Christians. I mean – it’s like the answer to a late-night question in the dorms at college – if God is infinite, does he have infinite hatred as well as infinite love? Sure, why the hell not?
The Phelps have actually grown on me – like a disgusting fungus, but still grown. They seem to be horrible, horrible people – the kind of people I wouldn’t want to associate with or be near – but they have a fascinating theology that seems not only “Calvinistic” but also distinctly almost like a “Bizarro Gnosticism” in its approach to God. I wish their website read less like the TimeCube website because I’d like to figure out more on how old Fred came to come by these completely consistent but completely non-mainstream beliefs about Christianity.
Better that Freddie and his gang of inbred nutjobs get to rant and rave in public than to force them underground where their insanity can fester and explode out in some sad gesture… such as blowing up a building.
The problem with that whole TULIP elect thing is it leads to this kind of thinking; “I am a sinner, created by God for damnation. Well then why shouldn’t I get my jollies in the now and torture Fred and family or another one of the elect to death? It’s not like Hell could possibly be any worse.”
I can’t wait for Fred to die. I hope every one whose ever had the misfortune to have the Phelps family show up at a funeral they’ve attended show up to make it impossible for his family to get to the cemetary. A whole line of protestors from his house to the grave yard. Of course, I doubt the family would be brave enough to try burying gramps off the compound. That’s one headstone that would be desecrated almost every day.
I always get a doomsday cult vibe off that group. You almost have to wonder if the whole family is going to drink the Kool-aid when Fred dies?
NonyNony@41:
I don’t really think it’s that complicated. I spent an evening reading their site, and as a former fundy myself (granted, much more mainstream than Westboro, but far enough to let me see where they were coming from), I really think they’re just taking the Bible at face value and believing what it says.
Reading through their FAQs, which are mostly questions from people trying to debate their theology, there’s only one point I found where their logic didn’t hold:
As far as I can see, if you grant them the truth of the Bible, they would crush anyone in a debate. I find this fascinating.
DaveX, #38: I wholeheartedly agree. But the human imagination IS a fine generator of fascinating fantasies, and it cannot be shut down. To pay it occasional lip service (especially when it is actuated by the kind of scum as outlined here) is neither an act or a promotion of physical violence. We humans can’t resist the crazy scenarios that inhabit the imagination: it is, after all, the fount of all creativity and art.
Sure, it is ALSO OK to shudder at the extremities such fantasies may visit. We have to rely on the expectation that the vast majority are (still, we may all hope) sane enough to be able to make a distinction between fantasy as a spontaneous mental exercise and fantasy as a message to actualize physical violence and cruelty.
It’s just a scheme to get free airtime.
They choose any high profile tragedy and threaten to stage a protest in order to elicit disgust and outrage from the surrounding community.
Invariably, a local radio station or other media outlet offers these bozos a few hours to spew their venom on the air in exchange for not going through with the protest.
In theory, this scam would cease to be effective if the media would just ignore them. But in reality, no community wants to be the one to silently endure “God Hates Fags” signs in order to teach these clowns a lesson.
The problem with Calvinism is that it is both convincingly logical, given God’s reputed attributes, and utterly repugnant. It is almost impossible to imagine how God could be an all-knowing Prime Mover who set all the boundary conditions and NOT, in a real sense, have determined everything that follows. One can escape that conclusion only by doing injury to the attributes of God that most Christians take for granted (e.g., omniscience and omnipotence). It makes people recoil because the inescapable conclusion is that God, in full knowledge that he would punish most of humanity for eternity, created them anyway, for “glory” that he did not in any way require. It’s hard to find a parallel, but I once likened it to a woman who knows that she has a genetic disorder that guarantees that 9 out of 10 of children born to her will live brief, agonizing lives continuing to get pregnant because having a healthy baby would make her so happy. Is that not a wicked proposition? And it is mild compared to what God appears to be doing under the very biblical Calvanistic view. Even if it could be imagined as true, such a doctrine so shocks the conscience that any decent person should turn from it. The Bible-based Christian’s challenge is to show how this view can be wrong.
Just give us back our signs!
I disagree with everyone who says they admire him for sticking to every part of the Bible. The problem with the Bible is its contradictions. It’s impossible to follow all of it. Jesus says to act like him, but he wouldn’t have the same vengeful views that God supposedly handed down to Moses and the like. Most Christians neglect the Old Testament laws of slavery, revenge, etc. Phelps neglects the New Testaments suggestions of love and forgiveness.
I can safely say I would kiss a man at Phelps’ funeral in protest…and I’m straight.
Smn nds t tk gd sht t ths fckng frks, wldn’t t b nc t s thr fckng brn mttr ll vr th dmn rd?
hll yh!
Posted by: anonymous | August 7, 2007 03:02 PM
I am so happy Philos spells like this. It makes it so much easier to skip over this crap. No need to waste time and then feel stupid for paying attention to a moron.
Why show any admiration for Phelps for sticking to the words of the bible. It seems the he would be holding a hatred for all of humanity no matter what religion he followed. His very cramped view of christianity is a fine way to show his hatred. But admirable, not in the least.
I’m surprised no one has mentioned Louis Theroux’s documentary on the Phelps (link to crappy version on google video). He does a fairly good job at uncovering their idiocy. He does ask a young member about a hypothetical situation involving her own death, which may help answer PZ’s question about Fred’s death.
I’ve never heard of them picketing T-shirt factories for producing cotton/polyester blends, nor New England fisheries for processing lobster. Apparently, out of all the shit God said, he only meant the parts about homosexuality.
How very consistent of them. That’s not cherry-picking from the bible at all.
Well said, Brownian. Although in other news, Phelps also hates…. (insert word here)
The god of the New Testament is infinitely (literally) more vengeful than the god of the Old Testament, because the Hebrews had no clear threat of an eternally tormenting hell. What’s more, punishment in the OT was based more on behavior, which makes at least a certain kind of sense; punishment based on a dearth of mouth-breathing gullibility is nuts.
oh, come on, people.
Phelps is very much a cherry-picker when it comes to the bible, and he is definitely not ‘just taking things at face value’. Whether or not you feel that the overall message of the bible is punishment or forgiveness, there are passages that (even just taken literally) emphasize love and compassion, and Phelps is definitely not interested in taking them at face value. He also tends to re-interperate those and irrelevant passages to justify his position that God hates pretty much everyone except him.
Theologically and from a literary perspective, the Westborough Baptist Church is about as sophisticated and true to their source material as the kid in my high school lit class who decided that every single poem we read was about sex, and proceeded to argue that position incomprehensibly, sometimes citing very warped interpretations of a particular stanza.
There is nothing to admire about Phelps, unless you admire people who are very effective at abusing and controlling others. The Phelps family is practically a textbook case of religious child abuse. He was an abusive, controlling father and husband, and only really got into the public gay-bashing when his children grew up and he could no longer control them with physical abuse or prevent them from leaving.
I know it’s probably wrong of me to wish death on someone else, but please, couldn’t we just have one more bridge collapse here in MN… while the Phelps tour bus is on it. Just them on the bridge mind you. I admit to being enough of an asshole that I would lol.
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/michael_haggerty/expose3.htm
If you want to delve into the mind of Fred Phelps, read this article. It is long but it is as chilling as any horror fiction. Fred Phelps appears to be intelligent, driven, sociopathic and sadistic. Scary stuff.
The only consolation would be that the intensity of this cult will probably fizzle out once old Fred hits the dirt.
i wonder if he eats shellfish.
PZ
I’m glad to hear that he is leaving the safety of Topeka and venturing to Minnesota.
Please keep him there.
thanks in advance
If anyone else has mentioned this in a previous comment, @ you.
The way to treat this traveling troupe of toxicity is the way that was shown in Laramie. First, gather yourselves together in numbers large enough to encircle them. Or at least block their vantage. Do this peacefully, of one accord. Second, turn your backs to them. Join hands if you like. Just be there, surrounding them, cutting them off from as much public notice as the law will allow, and ignore them. This will not stop them, they will hardly notice. But it will show to the rest of the world that atheists, humanists, fence riders and all manner of human preverts can send a profound message by just being quiet and sensible and determined not to be distracted by this family of frightened fatalists. Oh, yeah. They are scared witless. They gotta be. God told them so.
T. Bruce McNeely #59
I just read that whole article/book in one sitting. Egads. If even half of it is true, then Phelps should be in jail.
I think trying to analyze his “theology” is pointless. In many cases, a bad religion can make otherwise good people do and believe terrible things. The root of the problem isn’t with their character or person, but with the narrative they use to make sense of things. But in this case, I don’t think that’s what happened. This guy was sick to begin with.
After seeing Louis Theroux’s show on the group and hearing his “interview” with Phelps, I don’t think Phelps is trying to do anything, I don;t think he has any kind of plan – he’s just flat-out insane. Seems pretty senile too.
they should have a massive gay kiss-in at his funeral.
200 gays and lesbians sucking face as he’s lowered into the ground.
What would be more apropos?Perhaps that he’d get shoved into the ground with no media attention at all, no protests, no one but close family even noticing he’s died.
It would reflect the real relevance he had, which is none what so ever.
I can’t believe we’re this far along on a Phelps thread and no one has posted God Hates Shrimp
Foprtunately he’s been declarted persona non grata here, but if he or his ever managed to sneak past the border I’d be up for a counter protest involving shellfish and cheeseburgers.
If anyone deserves a trip to the Celstial BBQ its Freddie Boy…such a shame it doesnt exist…
Rather like chanting “Meat” while eating a small, diseased leaf of lettuce.
Fred P just reminds of the evil preacher from the Poltergiest movies,so much so that Im still not 100% sure it *isn’t* actually him!
#9:
I think this is exactly correct. I think he chooses high profile cases to run his family up there, and hopes that someone will infringe upon his rights so that he can sure them for lots of money. If you read biographies on his, and read interviews with that one kid of his who ‘got away’, he’s been doing this basically his whole life through one method or another.
At a protest here in Nebraska, Phelps’ daughter, Shirley Phelps-Roper, had her 10-year-old son stomp on an American flag. So she was arrested, and now those of us who are still sane must stand up for the right for these idiots to do this. Nebraska’s law against flag ‘desecration’ is clearly unconstitutional (though maybe not for long, given the increasingly loony membership of the Supreme Court). But it’s infuriating to have to defend these morons, when I’d much prefer to just ignore them. But that’s what they want, of course. I pity the poor kid. What chance does that 10-year-old have to grow up sane?
>>Why show any admiration for Phelps for sticking to the words of the bible.
Because he’s honest about it. He is really is honestly sticking to the words of the Bible as one could manage. Certainly the Bible deserves no admiration at all and deserves our contempt. But, honesty is a rare thing in a theist. Even if it makes them impossible to interact with in a meaningful way.
As for the question about why not condemn T-shirt companies first, I believe their response is first thing first and that the entire culture supporting homosexual culture is really the big one. I’m not sure how exactly they make this judgment.
However, I do direct you to the website GodHatesFigs Yes, thats figs with an ‘I’.
“>>Why show any admiration for Phelps for sticking to the words of the bible.
Because he’s honest about it. He is really is honestly sticking to the words of the Bible as one could manage.”
What? Where are you getting this? His level of honesty is basically “My interpretation of the Bible is The Correct One” and damn near every theist I’ve ever met has had that exact same level of honesty. I really have absolutely no idea what parts of the Bible he’s sticking to other than “homosexuality is bad” and “God punishes people for doing bad things”. Again, most theists I’ve met are pretty good at sticking to one or two things the bible says. And yet, picking out two horrible things instead of two good things is somehow more admirable? How does that work? Is it just the sheer novelty of cherry-picking repugnant things instead of good things?
If all these people are dying because of God’s wrath over homosexuality, you would think that God as well just kill homosexuals. For a supposedly omnipotent and omniscient being, God sure is a lousy marksman.
Wherever I am when Fred Phelps dies, I will drop everything to picket at his funeral.