A moment’s panic


The Countess dropped me a note to say I might get a laugh out of this list of the 100 Unsexiest Men of 2007, and I had a brief, horror-stricken thought that the reason was because I was on it. That’s the only reason I read the whole thing.

Dick Cheney is only at 77? There’s something wrong there.

Comments

  1. afarensis says

    Anne Coulter came in at #80, clearly the list is biased. I would have thought she would have made it into the top 50 at least.

  2. Jazmin says

    PZ, the only reason I read it was because I KNEW you were not on it. One of these days, you bearded, atheistic, cephlopod geniuses are going to realize how sexy you are to the other half of the race.

    Yes, I have been drinking Jack Daniels, but that just means I can’t spell; my judgement remains impeccable.

  3. Kseniya says

    Holy crumbling shortcake!       =8-O

    [84] DEVENDRA BANHART, Acoustic fabulist

    Because sometimes, what a girl really wants is to wrap her legs around the face of a less-well-groomed Charles Manson. Errrr . . . not. Squeeze him and out comes a sound like Tiny Tim getting gang-raped by a syphilitic 1930s Kentucky jug band. Not even a team of New York Times Magazine stylists and a wardrobe ripped off the cover of Fleetwood Mac’s Rumors could save this psych-folk moonie from striking out.

  4. says

    The Phoenix is interesting. On the one hand, it’s very much Boston’s answer to the Village Voice or the Chicago Reader, with some first-rate political and legal writing (Matt Taibbi, Alan Dershowitz, and Harvey Silverglate are all regulars). On the other hand, they’re frequently mocked by other local media (justifiably IMHO) for being stuffy, and the publisher, Stephen Mindich, is something of a drama queen. He hasn’t raised much trouble lately, but there have been times where he’s made the news as much as publishing it.

  5. says

    mAnn Coulter is only #80 — I would have thought mAnn and Dick would have been right next to each other.

    If that is not enough to show that something is indeed wrong then the final proof is in having the Geico Caveman in the top 100 and not George W. Bush!

  6. Kseniya says

    The Simpson dad was a good pick. He’s Creepy. Repugnant. A loathesome paternal role model. A negative fifty-five on the sexy scale, right there next to the perpetually sodden uncle who always wants you to come sit on his lap. Even when you’ve turned 13. (Especially when you’ve turned 13.)

  7. Maronan says

    Aw, you didn’t make the list? That’s sad.

    If it makes you feel any better, I had a dream about you last night. In the dream, I ran into you at a hotel. At first you were one of the guests, but somewhere mid-way through, you somehow became a room cleaner/housekeeper.

    For some reason, you were trying to get your tip from between the cushions on a sofa, except the “tip” was a slice of Swiss cheese. Apparently, this was legal tender in my dream.

    No cephalopods were involved in that dream.

    (Kinda off-topic, but it was interesting.)

  8. wildcardjack says

    damn it!

    I went off to sleep and woke up from a dream involving Ann Coulter and Dick Cheney, with Gilbert Godfry offering commentary!

    I might have to avoid midnight readings of this blog.

  9. Brian W. says

    “when Saget went Rambo and started telling gross-out jokes to play off the shame of having raised the Olsen twins, he crossed the line from pathetic bottom-feeder to slimy douchebag.”

    They think he only started telling dirty jokes after Full House? They’re idiots.

  10. says

    Say, Jazmin, (sure you are hungover by now) where do mustachioe’d atheists fit on your list?

    Not that I have a man-crush or anything, but I don’t get why Jimmy Kimmel is on the list. Is it because he shared sloppy seconds with God?

    And I am glad to see Mr. Blackwell on this list. His poetry slams are awful and he usually gets everything bass-ackwards.

  11. Adnan Y. says

    Dick Cheney is only at 77? There’s something wrong there.

    Well, you know how some serial killers get marriage proposals whilst in jail?

  12. Dianne says

    Jazmin is quite right about PZ. Bearded atheistic cephlopod loving biologists…mmmm…

    PZ is right about Cheney’s posiiton as well. Terribe that he scored so low. But the real travesty is that Dubya isn’t on the list at all. I suppose there are less appealing men out there than Dubya, but I can’t think of who they could be right now. Donald Trump…maybe. He’s a good alternative for #1, but for sheer frat-house rapist creepiness, you can’t really beat Dubya.

  13. MAJeff says

    The Twins are ugly enough as it is — imagine if George Clinton and Lil’ Jon had triplets, then killed the cute one

    I fell out reading that.

  14. says

    They also missed Alan Dershowitz, who not only looks like an evil clown, but manages to be worse than his appearance by recently losing his mind by becoming an apologist for torture, suspension of habeas corpus, prior restraint, etc.

  15. says

    Awwww, J-Dog is hawt! He shouldn’t be on the list! Booooo!

    I love that Ann Coulter got listed. I love even more that Tom Cruise got listed. (A certain creationist, in response to my challenge to post a photo of himself, posted one of Cruise. Bad move, sugar. Blehhh!)

    I’m with Jazmin. PZ, ’nuff with the self-depreciation – and I am perfectly sober. I am perfectly sober, people.

  16. says

    Oh, PZ, I never even thought for a second that you’d be on that list. LOL, you had a momentary sense of panic! The Count looked at that list last night, and he laughed over it, too. So many deserving candidates, eh?

    Thanks for posting my link!

  17. David Harmon says

    I liked their justification for including Coulter… also, putting themselves on the list is “classy clowning”!

  18. says

    I liked their justification for including Coulter

    Can we please not encourage the losers who keep flogging the same lame “Mann Coulter” garbage? This isn’t junior high school.

    It would have been perfectly easy to put Joakim Noah in the space they wasted on her. But no, they had to go for the cheap transsexual joke.

  19. Kseniya says

    Dan, I agree. I loathe Coulter’s work beyond what the breadth of my vocabulary enables me to express; and yeah, I get The Joke (oh, how funny it would be if the creature after whom all those homophobic male conservatives have been lusting all this time turned out to be a man). Regardless, it exudes the subtle aroma of sexual double-standard, of GLBT-baiting, of Vox Day’s “Pharyngurl” and all other lame attempts at denigrating an individual and his or her positions by questioning the legitimacy of his or her presented gender. How many equivalent jokes have been made about Rush Limbaugh being a woman? Maybe… none?

    Which is too bad, of course, cuz Limbaugh actually DID used to be a woman. *cough*