Uh-oh. My actual identity has been exposed, and one of my true forms has actually been published in a publication of the American popular press. Now people are going to understand why I am so pro-choice: “I AM PHARYNGULA, THE HARVESTER OF STILLBORN SOULS!”
About the English thing—I’ve been working on it, ‘k? And I have no idea who the cheerleader chick is.
Otherwise, though, sure, that’s exactly what I look like. Horns, red glowing eyes, muscles like boulders stuck under my skin, armful of squirming babi…hey, wait a minute. What’s with the babies? “I’m a fierce demon and I’m gonna kick your ass…right after I change little Phillipe’s diaper and settle Brittany with a bottle. Hey, know any lullabyes?” What kind of demon is all motherly? And where are the tentacles? They left off the tentacles and drew me with freaking RUG RATS?
All I’ve got is this one panel from DC’s “Countdown” series (thanks for sending it, Marc!). I hope he at least has the power to stun his opponents with boring lectures on development, genetics, and molecular biology. And that he puts the babies down now and then. Maybe he runs a daycare?
P.S. I just got a note from Jim Kakalios: the cheerleader is Mary Marvel, and he’s wearing dead babies. At least that minimizes the fuss of taking care of them, and opens the door to dead baby jokes. Hmmm…I wonder if he’d get offended at dead baby jokes? He might take them very personally, you know.
Dubito Ergo Sum has a scan of the full page. Pharyngula has some unpleasant dietary preferences, it seems.
Damn. The best part of my day, over so early.
Nice chin!
As long as we’re on the subject of comics, why not go give today’s Sinfest a look? It’s a definite bullseye!
Well, someone had to take up the slack when the Catholics put limbo on ice. Why not Pharyngula?
P.S. to Bruce re Sinfest: I totally agree!
Damn you, Bruce! I came over here just to post a link to that, and you beat me by mere seconds!
Otherwise, though, sure, that’s exactly what I look like.
Only in your Robert E. Howard dreams. Let’s face reality – you’re a wimpy college prof who’d have trouble bench pressing 100 lbs. You’d probably do well on an SAT test, tho. And with enough brains, and genetic or evo-devo tinkering – who knows? You may give birth to a entire new race of super-intelligent atheist demons, that erupt from the bowels of the earth to terrorize churchs at will!
Phillipe? Brittany? Come on, PZ. I just know you would give your demon spawn better (read: more Norwegian) names than these!
Speaking of being pro-choice, had you heard about this yet:
http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,20867,21904009-2703,00.html
(Vatican Calls On Catholics To Stop Supporting Amnesty International)
I wrote a bit about my own feelings of abject disgust on my own blog, but I hope to read your own take on it. Personally, I think that Rome needs new parking spaces more than it needs the Vatican.
NATAS SE ZP SREYM! ALUGNYRAHP! By the way, those babies are irreducibly complex.
So now we know why the Pope abolished limbo. He read a comic and found out the truth.
Find me another cult, that one’s insulted.
Can I call you PHSS for short? Looking good btw, nice tan, looks like you’re keeping your horns sharp. And who’s Mary Marvel?
I was expecting some dead baby jokes in the comments. I’ve got a really really nasty one if you want, just plain gross really but thats sort of the idea of dead baby jokes anyway so here goes.
WARNING NASTY JOKE AHEAD, NOT RECOMMENDED FOR ANYONE
What do you get when you skin a dead baby?
An erection.
I think this new persona could be useful in the classroom.
Professor Pharyngula says, “you shall complete this Molecular Biology exam within the allotted time or how do you say , in English — I’m going to devour your flesh and suck the digested waste from your intestines.”
And who’s Mary Marvel?
Mary Batson, sister of Billy Batson, the classic Captain Marvel. Who used to be dressed in white, but is now undergoing temptation to the dark side (starting by losing six inches of skirt length and gaining six or seven inches of breast size).
That is awesome.
I thought at first you had done something clever with Photoshop, vis a vis the name. But no…
Oh, man…can’t wait to read Mary Marvel’s reply in the next panel after PZ states the desire to eat her digested stomach contents. Is ESAD a proper internet thingie?
You’re in a comic book twice now? Dammit! I better work harder to catch up!
Beat you both, Scott. By the time you posted your comments, my link to Sinfest was already an hour old in PZ’s in-box. You slackers sleep in too late.
It’s cool to see you getting DC Comics love, but from what I hear Countdown’s been pretty shitty so far. Probably even worse than Civil War. Which is saying something.
I wouldn’t say it’s worse than Civil War; at least most of the characters are acting in-character. It’s not great, by any means, but some people are really enjoying it.
As far as “love,” I’m not certain that saying “I’m going to devour your flesh and suck the digested waste from your intestines” necessarily constitutes “love.”
Then again, the thought of PZ in a dead-baby suit tickles me without end. And, to continue the trend…
THIS AWFUL JOKE IS COUNTER-INDICATED BY THE SURGEON GENERAL:
What’s worse than 20 dead babies in a trash can?
One dead baby in 20 trash cans.
But where’s the weather station above your head?
Bob
That does it. What if god had put my soul into a stillborn model instead of the one I got???
I do not think god is all that infallible anymore, knowwhatimean?
I thought PZ was bad, I mean he can’t even keep his lipstick on his lips, he draws it down his chin (twice in the first frame, but only once after that, mind you). At least he knows the difference between the live, and the dead models, and quite frankly, I think it is actually a measure of goodwill to only harvest souls that probably wouldn’t really have anything else to do but be harvested in the first place!
If, though, I could offer a humble suggestion: maybe just devour flesh and not so much that other thing you want to do because if there is always one thing I have respected you for, it is your good oral hygiene fresh breath.
Oh, dear. Dead baby jokes were big when I was back in college in the 80’s. This is reminding me of all of them. And that last panel. . .would you say that “Pharyngula” is wearing a. . .shit-eating grin?
Say, what’s easier to unload, a truck full of bowling balls or a truck full of dead babies?
The truck full of dead babies – you can use a pitchfork.
The second part of that joke is a visual. I’m sure many of you remember it.
Don’t be too surprised if some prosecutor with a law degree and some law enforcement uniforms arrive with a backhoe to unearth all the baby remains in your backyard.
So now you believe in souls?
Uh, he’s not wearing dead babies, his body is made up from dead babies. There is a difference you know!
Dead grabby babies, no less.
Dave, you just haven’t seen PZ in his babysuit. It really brings out the red in his eyes.
Not suprised that a cheap shot “bash” on Pharyngula
popped up in a DC comic as opposed to Marvel, etc…
Is it just me, or does anybody else here think
that DC has a “thing” for Authority figures, with the
near deification of Superman and the whole Green Lantern
Corps storyline (We’re going to send agents to police
your world, who cares about your national sovereignty …)
Maybe they should just announce that DC will now stand
for Daddy Control and get it over with.
Ian Spedding’s mother? It sure would explain a lot.
Maybe it wasn’t a cheap shot at me. Maybe a) they think dead babies are cool, so it’s flattery, or b) maybe they actually hate Bill Ballard.
Wow. How much more evil can you get?
Dead baby jokes were big when I was back in college in the 80’s.
and dead puppy songs were all the rage.
*sigh*
memories.
This is, like, the most tasteless comment thread ever. Naturally, I have to participate.
THE FOLLOWING JOKE HAS BEEN PROVEN TO CAUSE CANCER:
How many dead babies does it take to paint a house?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Cheap shot? Well, maybe not. Maybe they just thought giving a demon with those particular predelictions a wicked cool name with built-in prenatal connotations was simply irresistable.
I’ll be impressed when you get a guest spot in Dilbert, and not before.
The above sentence is untrue. Damn.
They were big in the ’60s when I was in college. They probably go back to Ur.
Ooooohhhh! That is just so cute! PZ still fits in his baby clothes.
Given that Marvel ended their Civil War event with Iron Man basically owning every superperson on Earth, and Marvel editorial declaring that this is a good thing? Not so much.
That’s “owning” in the “legal possession” sense, not in the “beating up” sense.
I thought everyone’s get a kick outta that. Imagining PZ as a demon made up of dead babies is really the only entertainment I’ve gotten out of Countdown so far.
On the other hand, World War Hulk…
Here is a comix predecessor to the Pirates of the Caribbean.
S. Clay Wilson,
http://www.moondog.freeuk.com/gums.gif
Jack Chick, eat your heart out. Chick’s little comics have nothing on the Mighty P.
Good to see your second jobs going so well, Pharyngula.
DC as in good ol’ all-American DC Comics? Oy.
Thanks for the laugh.