Stephen Colbert: you are ON NOTICE!

How else can I respond to this wretched rant against our beloved cephalopods last night? He claims that “Narrowing the gap between cephalopods and humans can only lead to disaster” and that “Our seafood is training for something big”, and he’s right—and the only appropriate response is to welcome our new tentacled masters. Defiance and threats, like those of Mr Colbert, will only hasten your subjugation.


  1. Curt Cameron says

    Hail Octopi!

    It’s difficult to tell from this vantage point whether they will consume the captive earth men or merely enslave them. One thing is for certain, there is no stopping them; the octopi will soon be here. And I, for one, welcome our new cephalopod overlords. I’d like to remind them that as a trusted blog commenter, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underwater lairs.

  2. Conservative Crackpot says

    It is not physical attacks I worry about. The critters are dexterous enough to forge signatures, so they could impersonate lawyers and steal assets, with no one the wiser. Once they own all land outright, they’ll hire mercenaries to evict us. The mercs will drive us into the sea, where — guess what — we’ll be food for cephalopods.

  3. RamblinDude says

    Now their insidious plan is clear; the Land Shark was merely an advance scout!

  4. Jon says

    As long as it’s not those blue-spotted poisonous octopi that make you die real quick.

    Then I’m all for it.

  5. Brian says

    We shall fight them in the beaches. We shall fight them in the submarines. We shall fight them wherever their 8 or 10 tentacled bodies appear. I can only offer you my deep fryer, my oil, my lemon juice to season. But we shall never, ever surrender!
    Winston S. Churchill.

  6. Chinchillazilla says

    I thought I posted this in a comment here last night, but when I came back I couldn’t find it. I am sad.

  7. rrt says

    Forget the toiling! I’m volunteering for the genetic modification and the hybridizing.