Hey, I’m not European!

I have just been informed that those sneaky Europeans at AFOE are having a poll, and I’m on it in the category of “Best Non-European Weblog”, and I’m losing badly. This wouldn’t be so bad if losing meant I got the title of “Best European Weblog”, but apparently trivial geographic and cultural differences will be used as an excuse to disqualify me there. Somehow, though, Sadly, No is winning in a landslide. I don’t understand how that can happen, and can only attribute it to the fact that a bunch of foreigners are voting, and they can’t read the title as an injunction to not vote for them. Sadly, of course. It means “NON” or “NEIN” or “NYET”, people!

I’m also getting whomped by LGM and the Agonist. Maybe the voters think the crews over there are French. Or that the winner of the vote is required to stay as far away from Europe as possible.

And then, perhaps, another problem is that they’ve misspelled this blog as “Pharyngyla”. Pharyngyla? Everyone knows that Pharyngyla is a blog that sucks. Pharyngula, though, is a whole ‘nother kettle of writhing tentacles.

I urge all of you who think I am the most non-European of them all to get out there and vote for someone. Anyone but sucky Pharyngyla. Or send me a kettle of tentacles, instead.


  1. Reginald Selkirk says

    * Pharyngyla has been removed.

    * I’m not good at these European languages, but I think the prize is a satin pajama. You can do without. I mean one satin pajama is not good, I wouldn’t get up for anything less than a pair of pajamas.

    * Your ancestry is European, right? See if that qualifies you for “Best Ex-Pat Blog.”

  2. Tony Popple says

    I hope this doesn’t mean I have to go back to calling french fries “freedom fries” again.

  3. says

    Oh, no…they changed the spelling? But it was so charming, in a Clouseauesque fashion.

    Well, I’m “ex-pat” on my mother’s side by about 120 years, and on my father’s side by somewhere about 350, or more. I suppose on a European scale that’s very nouveau Americain, so maybe that would work.

  4. Mark UK says

    As a European I apologize for the disgraceful and igorant behaviour of my fellow euro-commies (too much time discussing global warming on suspect sites…). The problem might be that because we euros are so much less religious than you Yanks not enough people here are praying for you…

    You have my vote oh Great One.

  5. Gil Antunes says

    I voted for you 2 days ago, and like Sadly, No! predicted, when you would send your minions the vote would skyrocket. Looks like you are getting there.

    Well deserved, keep up the good work

    Greetings from somewhere between Lisbon, Paris and Bucharest.

  6. says

    The title you get if you lose is Non-Best European Weblog, which, of course, is irrelevant unless you happen to be traveling through Non-Best Europe.

    Reminds me of Groucho’s line: Last night, I shot irrelevant in my satin pyjamas. How he got in my satin pyjamas I’ll never know. Note that the original spelling of “pyjamas” also includes the mysterious “y” that wound up in “Pharyngyla.” More proof of an intelligent designer!

  7. Chris Thompson says

    You’re losing because the Europeans consider themselves more erudite than you now, ever since you wrote “a whole ‘nother”. The apostrophe doesn’t excuse it.

  8. says

    But…but…what is the optimal strategy for winning the best non-European weblog? Does it involve being as non-European as I can be, or are they going to be favoring the best simulacrum of a European blog in a non-European location?

  9. Graham says

    Pharyngula, though, is a whole ‘nother kettle of writhing tentacles…

    Some poor unfortunate people have nightmares about “writhing tentacles”, you know. That could be hurting your chances.

    However, I’ll head over and put in a vote for ya, for what it’s worth.

  10. Bob O'H says

    Ooh, you’re in the lead now (just). I’ll claim it was my vote that did it.


  11. bernarda says

    If I understand you rightly, and I hope I don’t, “Maybe the voters think the crews over there are French” is French bashing on the level of Glenn Beck.

    Ok, so they were right about war in Iraq. Should you hold that against them?

    In France, 80% of the people recognize evolution as the scientific theory explaining the development of our world.

    In the U.S. it is 13%.

  12. says

    Graham: People who have nightmares about tentacles probably wouldn’t vote for a cephalopodophilic blog anyway…

  13. Kapitano says

    Move to the UK. That way you get to be called European but stay really American.

  14. says

    Pharyngula’s problem with Europeans is quite simple, imho. In Europe creationism is not a very pressing issue. I for one have never even heard of the word (concept of) creationism until I was 17. And then only by mere accident. At fist I couldn’t believe that anyone with half a working brain would actually take the biblical account of special creation literally.

    Thus nobody here searches for good sites or blogs which defend the scientific method in general and evolution in particular.
    Which in turn explains your (former) low poll results.

  15. says

    Umm, Bernarda, stop being so sensitive. I like France. I’m playing off the convention that the loony Right in this country use “French” as an insult and apply it to us left-wingers all the time, so an outsider might get the impression that every rational, sensible, peace-loving blog with a sense of humor in this country is actually written by French people living here. In that sense, “Sadly, No” is crewed by a bunch of guys with berets humming the Marseillaise while bashing GW Bush over the head with baguettes…and I think that’s a good thing.

  16. says

    Not to bite the tentacle of the squid that feeds me (ah, sashimi!)–or rather, sends the most visitors to Mostly Harmless of any other blog ever–I just voted (for Sadly, No!) and you’re way ahead now.

  17. says

    Oh, no…if I beat “Sadly, No!”, they’ll mock me. And you know how savage they can be in their unrelenting mockity mock-mock mocking mockery.

  18. Paguroidea says

    One of the things I really love is finding blogs that I haven’t visited before that are gems. A Fistful of Euros lists lots of sites that are real treasures. I’ve gone back to their site several times just to check out the variety of blogs listed.

  19. Rorschach says

    A spam troll who fucks up his links hahahahahahaha, do they pay this incompetent wanker by the broken link or what???