In what has become an annual tradition of prognostications, religious broadcaster Pat Robertson predicted Tuesday that a terrorist attack on the United States would result in “mass killing” late in 2007.
“I’m not necessarily saying it’s going to be nuclear,” he said during his news-and-talk television show “The 700 Club” on the Christian Broadcasting Network. “The Lord didn’t say nuclear. But I do believe it will be something like that.”
Hang on there. A possible nuclear attack by terrorists? We’ve heard this possibility discussed before as a justification for torture. Robertson knows something. Quick, call Kiefer Sutherland and let the waterboarding begin!
Once he breaks, he’ll lead us to the terrorist mastermind (codename: Lord), and then we can send in a Ranger battalion to take him out.
Later in the article, though, he admits that last year’s prediction of a tsunami striking the US was fulfilled by heavy rain in New England; given that level of slop in his prediction, next year he’ll be able to claim that the nuclear attack prediction was met by that time Dick Cheney had a particularly gassy burrito.