Seattle is experiencing a surge of homicides (which are probably not statistically significant in number.) Seattle is also experiencing a surge of squid. Some irresponsible journalists are suggesting these two observations might or might not be linked.
These scurrilous allegations should be addressed by a trustworthy source, like The Typing Octopus. I mean, seriously, the murders are on dry land, with guns. I’d suspect the Sasquatch before I would some disgruntled cephalopod…and even there, the fact that the victims weren’t slammed with hurled tree trunks should let Bigfoot off the hook.
John McKay says
I notice you’re not even addressing the possibility that tree octopuses might be involved.
Bob Calder says
Yeah but you have to admit that cephalopods are sneaky. If I were to type cast one, he would be the kind that sneaks up behind you and . . . smack! The salty trail would be a giveaway, but think of the lineup! Those big liquid eyes, the innocent blush. *sigh* You gotta love ’em.
Hey, didn’t I say that faculty meetings had their share of nuts? Did you hear about the Cheny 9-11 conspiracy? http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/07/21/Sept.11.prof.ap/index.html?section=cnn_us
Maybe he thinks Cheny is a cephalopod. Sneak up and ….whack! Hey makes sense to me, but I am just gettin ready for another meeting about the new “Ever Smaller Learning Communities” initiative.
Hey Paul, Squids with Guns – and really good aim! People have reported seeing them, cross my heart and hope to die. All one has to do is remember the cows with guns rampage from a few years ago (heck, they even wrote a song about it!) to believe it could be true.
For a moment I wondered if this could be the work of PZ’s army of mutant squidmen, but then I realized that the victims were shot with guns and the squidmen are supposed to be armed with lasers.
louis homer says
Since this post is in a lighthearted vein, it would probably be unsporting of me to point out that the “surge of squid” is not in Seattle, but in Alaska. It’s just a problem for the Seattle-based fleet that fishes in the Bering Sea.
John McKay says
I made it to Seattle from Alaska and I only have four limbs. I don’t think those squid are in the clear yet.
Really, what’s the difference between jet propulsion and guns?
It dismays me that even in this day and age, people can still express such surprise when a cephelapod goes bad…
It’s the heat. 96F yesterday, somewhere north of 90F today. I was at Safeco watching the Sox lose, so I never got the official temp today.
It’s too damned hot. Nobody here has air conditioning, and dumbest of all, places that do won’t run it to save money (I’m looking at you Red Robin Burgers. I went out to eat specifically to get a/c. That’s why I left without ordering.)
Because we haven’t needed air conditioning in the Puget Sound area until the last few years, the only relief available has been restaurants or movie theaters. I don’t suppose there are that many squids willing to risk the deep fryer to commit their nefarious crimes in restaurants. My money is on the movie theater stalking squids for the bump in the homicide rate.
Erin D. says
But guys, there’s a statistical correlation here. Does no one respect the scientific principles at work?! For a similar demonstration of correlation that doesn’t imply causality, check out this.
John McKay nailed it in the opening comment:
It’s the tree octopii