I will never be able to justify the number of zeroes in front of that number in the title. This is a bonus post; see the adjacent articles for the regularly scheduled content. You can still join this RP by comment, open for two more players. Catch up from the beginning here, or whatever. This is an “urban fantasy” in an earth-like world. The characters are students at the equivalent of a community college, for the usual reasons a person might end up there instead of a more prestigious school. What are you doing here? What’s your major, something mundane or something adventurous?
~Previous~ 🏵️ ~~~
At Magic Boots, the party was certainly going to burn through the night. Yes, the prudish human conquerors of The City of Romance had set a two o’clock closing time, but the hearty revelers had literally inhuman stamina, and would simply take the party out into the streets when the bouncers shuffled them through the doors.
It felt like everybody in the building had, at some point, danced with everybody else. Some debauched characters found dark corners to do a bit more than dance. What sort of biz might your guy have gotten up to, and with whom? One of the crew, or a mysterious third party altogether? Or more than one of the above?
What of the Cortellire Hall freshmen? Div and Racker were the biggest party animals, in their own distinct ways. Div took the club for its intended purpose, sharing erotic energy with the masses, experiencing the release of reckless dance, drink, and drug. Racker partook of his share, but was also getting into other kinds of hijinks, making the bouncers mad and always disappearing before the hammer came down. At one point he surfed across the dance floor balanced on a folded “wet floor” caution sign, at another he took over the DJ booth and played a bunch of sexual groans and bellows from a soundboard.
The meatheads Tollison, Liu-gon, Markud, and Grundr all had good times and bad – one minute making time with a promising fella, the next finding out it was bad news, the next minute onto another. Grundr was easy to lose track of at his height. The tallest meathead was Humuk, which meant he was the easiest to keep an eye out for – and this was good, because he seemed the most out of his depth. Still, his muscles helped. He could hold his own when the bawdy got too ardent for his experience level. He’d find out about himself at his own pace, tho that pace would surely be accelerated by the night’s foolishness.
Josh and Keires were the easiest to lose in the crowd and it was hard to see how they were doing, tho at some point after midnight, Keires used his elemental powers to dance above the crowd’s heads – a spectacle they appreciated. Ilenka and Kaldonia likewise became hard to see, shorter than the main run of manly dancers.
But trouble was brewing. The freshmen kept catching haughty looks and threatening body language from a large clique of guys. A few wore garments or accessories that gave away the source of their solidarity – they were from The University of Romance. Mostly human and well-off, they seemed to regard the community college kids as a contemptible vulgarian freak show. The freshmen were holding their own, not letting the insult get out of hand, but as two o’clock drew nigh, it was harder by the minute.
~Previous~ 🏵️ ~~~
Ilmardan set to work proving that his disclaimer was not idle self-deprecation. On paper elves had many natural advantages when it came to dancing – they were lithe, dextrous, quick-thinking and agile beyond human measure. None of these things mattered, however, if one was tone-deaf and dancing more to the music in their own head than what was keeping time on the dance floor, and Ilmardan was very much doing that. Others danced to seem cool or attractive to others in the crowd – Ilmardan danced entirely to please himself. Were he not possessed of the superhuman agility of his people (and a good dose of the awareness tincture keeping him alert) he would most likely have left a trail of black eyes, bruised arms and spilled drinks behind him. Certainly there would be surprise, laughter, derision and social disapproval from all quarters, but he didn’t care about any of that at the best of times. Certainly people would remember Racker’s and Div’s contributions to the night’s mayhem far ahead of his own. Perhaps he ought to bring a pair of actual magic boots on his next visit to make things even more interesting. Maybe the Boots of Levitation he’d got from Firinthol a few years back.
The brewing sense of conflict and tension among the gathered humans hadn’t passed him by either. To some extent Ilmardan pitied them – how dreary an existence it must be to cultivate petty dreams of status and standing when there are much grander and more exciting things in the world to enjoy. On the other hand he didn’t want things to turn too ugly and spoil the night. He started turning over plans for making a quiet exit, before realising that many of their group would probably be far too hot-headed to go along with something like that. Oh well, if it came down to fast talking (or, failing that, fast running) he could probably just about hold his own. Gradually he withdrew from the dance floor after a sufficient period of release, retreating to a corner table with a good field of view so he could observe what happened next.
Racker was game for lots of things, but the erratic dancing offered no pleasure to his coolness. It didn’t last long, which was fine. A few guys on the twinkish side were drawn to his energetic ways, so he had some company. Nothing serious, but it was fun. No regrets…
Except that the zany dancing drew some of the condescending looks from the frat boys, and that the tincture made sure he felt the full measure of those shitty stares and snorts. Pitying the fools could only get one so far in avoiding an increasing sense of insult. Maybe he was truly capable of stowing that, truly had cast iron self-assurance?
Worse, the corner table had the unexpected effect of leaving Ilmardan cornered. Was it better or worse that he’d lost the twinks by then? A couple of fratties came by with their tenth drinks in hand. They were medium muscled, like racquet sport enthusiasts.
“Ah, what’s this, Bradence? An elf with the finny fits?”
“Don’t look down, Olverworth. Disabilities are no laughing matter.”
They didn’t eclipse the view completely. He could see similar situations unfolding hither and thither. Maybe violence wasn’t the agenda, because some of the big guys on Ilmardan’s squad were being snooted at by guys less physically imposing than they were.
–
“Gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen” Ilmardan began, faking the manic overconfidence of the moneyed class since it didn’t come at all naturally, “I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced. My name is Caradwen Maraya, of the Intrepid City Marayas, and I’m here with some friends trying to have a fun night at the club my family’s cartel recently acquired a controlling stake in. It’s not a bad place, all things considered. The floors are unpleasantly sticky, but aren’t they everywhere? I expect it will yield adequate revenues for the foreseeable life of the investment, as long as it keeps attracting a discerning clientele. And you must be that clientele here now! Tell me, how is the alchemixologist doing? Potions up to snuff? I certainly hope so… Osworth, was it? and… Braidflench? I can see you’re both partial to the old Calaverian Dreamwine. It really does stain the teeth something chronic, doesn’t it?
But where are my manners! – I haven’t introduced you to the crew yet, have I? That one floating over there above the dance floor is Keires, a very sharp customer and rather enamoured with this place. Terrible temper though, and when he gets upset you wouldn’t want to be within a league of the tempests he can call up. But he’s lovely really, when you get to know him. Then we have Div on the podium, and let me tell you he’s been eyeing you up for the last hour or two. Very lucky you are there – he doesn’t just take a liking to anybody. Very choosy by the standards of his people. Anyway, he has confided in me a desire to take you two to some secluded spot outside and indulge his carnal desires with you. I haven’t indulged in those with him myself, but he comes highly recommended. I’m sure I can put in a good word when you have the time, though I’d recommend a long shower afterwards to recover. Liu-Gon, Humuk and Grundr all seem to be enjoying themselves, but between you and me they’re terribly violent sorts, and probably need to go home soon or they’ll start a fight, and I’m sure none of us would want that, would we? Who else? Oh yes, you’ve probably met my bodyguard Racker already. He’s a mischievous sort who likes to party, but we all have a fondness for his antics so we let him get away with murder. Not actual murder, of course, though there have been rumours. He’s been invaluable in showing me what this quaint little town has to offer. May I get you another drink? Perhaps some more Dreamwine? Or you might have some urgent business to attend to elsewhere. I certainly wouldn’t want to keep you from whatever that is.”
The insults did not go over their heads, where the lies seemed for a moment like they were going to work, until they didn’t.
“Oh do save your gold, Finny Mariah,” said Osworth. “You’ll need them at the *community* college.”
Braidflench tittered like a fifteen year old sidekick bully. “Oh dread. I can scarcely imagine that life. How do you do it?”
Elsewhere, Div was the first to snap, and had to be restrained by Liu-gon and Tollison. He was cussing up a storm. Bouncers all began to take notice at once, exchanging glances, taking in the situation.
The girls had either gone unnoticed or were so far beneath contempt that they weren’t worth pestering. That meant Ilenka and Kaldonia had an angle for attack, pouring booze inside the backs of their collars. They used that move on the guys bothering Josh and Keires, whose shuddering disgust was only slightly less rhythmic than Ilmardan’s dance had been.
Racker had been defending Humuk with his wits, when the escalation hit. The preppies turned to see what was going on elsewhere, and got double wedgies. This was not going to end well.
–
Ilmardan let out sigh of disappointment. “fine, I gave you a chance to be civil but unfortunately your manners are rather lacking for a pair so convinced as to their own superiority. Not a good look, gentlemen, not a good look at all. Still, if you insist on being so coarse and unsophisticated then I have no doubt my friends could show you a very coarse and unsophisticated time. You might want to go and help that gaggle of chinless popinjays you came in with – you know as well as I do that something is about to kick off, and I’m not sure anyone is going to come out of this smelling of roses. Now if you don’t mind, the mood has rather soured – I think we’ll be leaving to find somewhere that doesn’t stink quite as much of overprivileged little squeaks with far too high an opinion of themselves.”
He pushed past the pair of them as imperiously as he could manage, narrowing his eyes and never taking his cold stare off them until he was well clear. If the evening wasn’t going to end in absolute disaster he’d best round up as many of the gang as he could and convince them a prompt exit would be the best course of action. But who held the trust of the rest? Which of his companions would he need to persuade first? Div seemed to have a commanding presence that buoyed the others up, but in his current state he’d be all but impossible to sway. Kaldonia was his second choice, but things seemed to be getting physical in her general vicinity, and once those brats had recovered from their impromptu dousing they’d likely resort to fists. She also seemed to be enjoying the confrontation rather too much.
Did they respect him enough that a speech to the whole crowd would convince them to give up their violent intent and walk away with him? It seemed unlikely, but he was almost out of ideas. It was that or smash the fire alarm and hope they could get clear in the chaos. Anxiously he made his way to the DJ’s booth, where he tried his hardest to convince the DJ to let him speak over the sound system and try desperately to calm everyone in his party down.
Technically the wedgies were the first act that could legally be considered assault, which caused some a couple of bouncers to hit that area first. Racker distracted them with by tricking the wedgied guys into attacking each other (how tf did he do that?), then shoved Humuk into motion for the retreat. The inexperienced guy was fearful of real trouble and easily set to running.
As predicted, the ones who got slimed also got into violence quickly, but Keires and Josh were pretty spry, and led them on a less-than-merry chase. Kaldonia and Ilenka strolled quickly in an attempt to get lost in the shadows. Could they? Lights were coming up.
More bouncers came upon the scene around Div -still the center of attention- and were making their presence felt, when Ilmardan reached the mic. The DJ was gone, and getting that thing live again was as easy as flipping a switch.
–