The New York Times is reporting that Spirit, everybody’s favorite* presence on another planet, is finally to be abandoned. After exceeding the wildest expectations of its builders, Spirit finally gave up the ghost a little over a year ago. Nasa has been sending a daily call since then, with no answer, and tomorrow will be the last call. It is exceedingly unlikely that spirit will give any sort of response, but NASA will be listening through the end of the month.

I remind you of XKCD’s homage to Spirit (click through–the pic is too big for my lousy layout, and it is one which brings tears to my eyes), and repost my own verse from January 2010:

Why do we care about poor little Spirit?
A robot is shutting down; why all the fuss?
My theory, assuming you might want to hear it—
It’s not just a bot: it’s a real part of us.

For over six years, I could wander a planet;
This rover named Spirit would act as my eyes!
Much more than suspected, back when they began it,
So, yes, I’ll be sad when the poor creature dies.

You say, “it’s a robot—it never was living!
It’s metal and silicon, lenses and gears!
Exploring the surface of Mars, unforgiving,
Controlled from a distance, for over six years!”

Of course, this is true. It’s a robot, just driving;
It just blindly does what it’s programmed to do.
But it does so where I have no hope of surviving,
And when it shuts down, then I’m blind on Mars, too.

I think it is good that the “death” of this rover
Is met with emotion—a tear, or a frown.
We all hit the off-switch, when our time is over…
I hope you’ll feel likewise when I power down.

*We cheer for underdogs. Spirit’s twin, Opportunity, is still up and running, improbably and wonderfully.

He’s 70 today.

I was late to the table in becoming a Dylan fan; couldn’t stand his voice. Now, it doesn’t bother me so much, and there is no disputing, the man has a way with words.

Anyway, others have said much more intelligent stuff about him and today’s lap of the odometer, so I’ll just say “Thanks for doing all of the heavy lifting”, and link to some of my older verses blatantly stolen. I could have sworn there were more.

They will be leaving, about the most recent rapture.

Ah, yes, with the Wisconsin union fights, it seems you couldn’t turn on a TV without seeing… Charlie Sheen?

How do you do science, when God intervenes? Is there a control for that?

Of course, God intervenes all the time in football. Especially on Super Bowl Sunday.

And a silly little announcement for a blog carnival hosted by the much-missed TUIBGuy.

Happy Birthday, Bob Dylan, and thanks!

With Harold Camping’s second strike,
His wounds were self-inflicted
Cos holy Jesus didn’t like
The date that he’d predicted;

He’s tried again! Oh, what a shame!
But this time, it’s October
(Too bad it’s not a drinking game;
We’d none of us be sober)

You guessed it!

“Harold Camping Fails Again”
The global headline hollers–
But no—his fraud’s a great success…
“Success” defined in dollars

Call me cynical, but I suspect there are two things Harold Camping loves more than Jesus. Money and attention. If we define Camping’s success or failure in terms of these two standards, he is a tremendous success. He took in tens of millions of dollars in just the past few years (the International Business Times reports $100 million in the past 7 years, based on tax returns), in order to spread the his gospel worldwide. Not to mention all the free publicity of the past week or so. No, this is a major win for Camping.

News outlets struggled to capture the Rapture
With interviews, videos, photos and such
Intimate details make writing exciting
So everyone aimed for the personal touch

Editors laughed at the deadline in headlines—
Lunatic out-groups are always fair game—
Some woman attempted to slaughter her daughters;
I doubt that the newsies will shoulder some blame

Watching the rapture was once fun. I think the first story I saw on it was months ago, and it gave me a chuckle; I was amused that such a splinter story would make it to national press. As you are well aware, not only did it make it to national press, but in the past week I don’t know of a media outlet that did not have a rapture story.

And there’s the problem.

A fringe belief was given a sort of legitimacy by round-the-clock coverage. The linked story above is a bit of collateral damage. I expect more, and hope to be wrong.

News outlets could have done differently. The lede tended to be “look at how deeply these people believe” rather than “oh, look, yet another end-times prophesy” (yes, both themes were there, but the ratios were not to my liking). The prophecy was “debunked” by other religious leaders pointing to other bible verses, rather than by historians or social scientists. Camping’s cult is different only in the specificity of their timeline, and the lunacy of the broader belief was never (rarely, and by atheists, another outgroup) questioned.

This should have been a small paragraph on page 13, not a headline.

I didn’t plan this, but it showed up in my mailbox–through the end of this month, you can get 20% off of the regular price of The Digital Cuttlefish Omnibus. If you are buying in bulk (yeah, right), you can save up to 50 bucks. Remember, it’s the perfect graduation gift, or end-of-the-world I-told-you-so gift, or just a really thick coaster for those icy summer drinks (northern hemisphere) or steaming cups of coffee, tea, or chocolate (southern hemisphere).

Just enter the coupon code “BOOK355” (without quotation marks) and congratulate yourself on being a shrewd and thoughtful consumer. Here, I’ll even give you a handy button to bring you right to the store:

Make you a bet: If the world does not end within the next 48 hours (see how generous I am!), you buy one or two. If it does, I’ll buy you all drinks in Hell.

Wrong-again Harold had made a prediction
Wrong-again Harold was once again wrong
Wrong-again Harold believed in a fiction,
But wrong-again Harold kept chugging along.

Wrong-again Harold had plenty of money
So wrong-again Harold bought billboards and such
People who saw them all thought they were funny
But wrong-again Harold, he didn’t care much

Wrong-again Harold misled the believers
Wrong-again Harold expressed no remorse
Wrong-again, wrong-again,
String-em-along-again,
Wrong-again Harold stayed true to his course.

Wrong-again Harold, he looked through the bible
Wrong-again Harold, he did all the math
Wrong-again Harold, he claim’s he’s reli’ble
And gives us the date and the time of god’s wrath

Wrong-again Harold, I feel I should mention,
Wrong-again Harold has done this before;
Wrong-again Harold, he craves the attention—
Wrong-again Harold’s a media whore.

Wrong-again Harold misled the reporters
Wrong-again Harold expressed no remorse
Wrong-again, wrong-again,
String-em-along-again,
Wrong-again Harold stayed true to his course.

Wrong-again Harold’s not much of a story
Wrong-again Harold has nothing to say
Wrong about rapture and heaven and glory
Please, can we just put this story away?

Wrong-again Harold, the media darling,
Radio, papers, the web, and TV
There on your soapbox, you’ve led me to snarling:
Bury this story, and just let me be!

Wrong-again Harold provided the message
Wrong-again Media, added their force
Wrong-again, wrong-again,
String-us-along-again,
Wrong-again Harold stayed true to his course.

Is there a media outlet anywhere that has not given this man coverage? How many separate stories has he been in, among the major players? This has all the civility of a circus freak show, and I’m sick of it.

Mac-ily crack-ily
Apple Enthusiasts
Think about gadgets, and
Light up their brains,

Piquing the interest of
Neuroanatomists,
Glad to discuss what
The picture explains:

Sexily, vexily,
Newest technology
Shows an analysis
Just a touch odd;

Macheads don’t suffer from
Psychopathology;
Rather, their brains see the
Gadgets as God.

Apple-ish, Chapel-ish
Documentarians
Came to conclusions
A bit front-to-back;

God was their yardstick, but
Incomprehensibly—
Truth is, Jehovah is
Merely a Mac.

So, yeah, CNN is reporting about a Beeb documentary on the Secrets of the Superbrands. The big news that CNN takes from it is that Mac devotees’ brains (as measured by MRI) light up when they are viewing Apple gadgets the same way that religious devotees’ brains light up when they see images of their god.

But of course, the interpretation is all wrong. They say that iPads, for instance, benefit from MacHeads’ “god-like devotion”… No, actually. God (whichever god you choose) inspires Mac-like devotion. I doubt very much that an area of the brain evolved to deal with stuff that is not there. I suspect, rather, that it developed to deal with stuff that is actually there, and was hijacked by a fiction.

I have often wondered whether the areas of the brain that light up for religious devotion, might light up for pop stars, movie idols, favorite authors, or the like. It would surprise me greatly if the feeling of awe inspired by a god and the feeling of awe inspired by a Van Gogh are differentially located in the brain. Evolution is a notorious tinkerer, and re-uses stuff all the time: “Love, pain, money, cocaine light up same area of brain“, suggests one title. So, no surprise that iPads and gods are similarly wired.

What would have been extraordinary would be if god-perception was utterly unique. That would be remarkable, actually. But that, I suspect, would require intelligent design. No such luck.

The big fish in their tiny pool
Where all the world is just one school
Can taunt and tease the godless fool
And bow their heads and pray
But video technology
Means, now the outside world can see
The worst of Christianity
In prominent display

Replacing prayer with silent thought?
Not good enough! And so, they fought!
They never figured to be caught—
And also, it was fun!
So, proving that they have no shame
The cowards held the kid to blame
And broke the law; it’s just the same
As Jesus would have done

It could have been such a great civics lesson. It could have been the mother of all teachable moments. It could have been a time for a community to shine.

But no.

It was a time for a community to pull together against a common enemy, to pretend to be victims of a persecution they were actually perpetrating.

Context, and video, at PZ’s.

All across our mighty nation
At this time of graduation
It is Christian obligation
To acknowledge god in prayer
With a solemn invocation
Or an eloquent oration
That’s an open invitation
Aimed at everybody there

With a biblical quotation
To elicit contemplation:
“Lead us not into temptation”
As we head into the world
And with no equivocation
We affirm our adoration
And we pledge our dedication
To a banner there unfurled.

Now some godless aberration
Through his email machination
Seeks no less than termination
Of our simple, cherished rite!
Says we’re all in violation
Of the proper legislation
And demands an abrogation
Or he’ll lawyer up and fight!

Having read his information
We admit, with resignation,
Though it seems abomination
We sought federal advice
With our lawyers’ consultation,
To avoid much litigation
We announce the cancellation
Of the virgin sacrifice.

Via PZ, we hear of the annual dance between God and Country. Only one or the other gets invited to public school graduations, it seems. In Bastrop, LA, it was God that got the ticket, until Damon Fowler reminded the school that their traditional prayer was unconstitutional. As a reward for his civics lesson, the school lauded the young man, and is dedicating the graduation ceremonies to him.

Oh, wait, no. They are threatening him, and pretty much riding him out of town on a rail. Though the school board quickly realized he was in the right, the good christians of the area are planning to overwhelm the compromise “moment of silence” with prayer. This, of course, is their right. And it shows how much they value the words of Jesus, specifically Matthew 6:5-6. I kinda wish someone there would take that moment of silence (if it is indeed disturbed by loud prayer) as an opportunity to sacrifice a chicken or goat, right there, spray its carcass with rum, and basically exercise the same first amendment rights the other praying folks are. Except that I would feel a bit bad for the poor animal.