The Plural Of Walrus

For Scicurious (still and always, the best ‘nym ever for a science writer)

The walruses were gathered,
Tens of K of walri strong
With their floes unfroze, the walrae
Joined a huge walrorum throng

They’re a sign of global warming,
Crammed together on the beach
They would rather float on icebergs
But there are no bergs to reach

If we kill them off, and all that’s left
Are photos, or some mural….
Then we’ll no more have to answer
“What is ‘walrus’ in the plural?”

The latest numbers are astonishing–35,000 walruses are gathered on an Alaskan beach, the tusked equivalent of an immigration nightmare. So many walri! But… like Richard Gere in “An Officer And A Gentleman”, these walrae are here because they “got nowhere else to go!” These huge numbers are Very Bad News, a quorum of walrorum that dares you to ignore’em.

Hey, don’t worry too much. Give it a few years, and we won’t need to know the plural for walrus any more.

Although, come to think of it… that’s the bad news.


  1. says

    I don’t know what all the fuss is.
    Clearly the plural is walrusses.
    And as for the floes, evolution teaches,
    The beasts will adapt to the Big Sur beaches.

  2. Cuttlefish says

    The Big Sur beaches
    Will soon be underwater–
    If not in my life, then
    The life of my daughter
    But no, we won’t worry,
    And no, we won’t fuss…
    We’ll ignore all the warnings,
    Until… shit!! It’s us!

  3. says

    Cuttle, do you know Motor Bus by: A.D. Godley?
    This Pome reminds me of:
    “…Yes, the smell and hideous hum
    Indicat Motorem Bum!
    Implet in the Corn and High
    Terror me Motoris Bi…”

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