Problem’s, Problem’s, Problem’s…

I was reading through some papers
(It was really quite a stack)
Cos I’ve had them for a week, now,
And the students want them back

But then… a stray apostrophe
Was seared into my soul,
Unleashing horde’s of demon’s,
Till I fully lost control

It took a bit of doing
But I talked myself back down
Read the news at [site redacted]
For the latest from my town

But then… that stray apostrophe,
A simple, plain, mistake
So many good example’s,
Who could know that I would break?

In the comic’s, in the headline’s
In the manual’s for my car!
On the price tag’s, in my vision’s
If I’m looking–there they are!

Those fucking stray apostrophe’s!
Intentional, I know!
They wan’t to see me broken,
And they know the way to go.


  1. coragyps says

    It hurt to read it, too.

    But their you go – English just isn’t like it use to bee.

  2. jstackpo says

    Is there a law of conservation of apostrophes? They are still around, just in the wrong places?

  3. phytophactor says

    Do you laugh or cry when you read an education student’s research paper illustrating scientific “injury”. One would like to inquire if anything other than my brain got broken. Gad, and they want to teach!

  4. Trebuchet says

    When I am King of the World (KotW, tm), abuser’s of apostrophe’s will be sentenced to six month’s of remedial English. Right along side he and she who don’t know how to use compound pronouns.

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