We struggle in vain to distinguish a Mass
From your typical Zombie behavior
As they guzzle down red by the bottle or glass
And delight in Filet of Our Savior.
Perhaps it’s a matter of what’s on the menu;
Your Catholic is more of a snacker,
But if you feel teeth on your shoulder, why, then you
Know zombies want more than a cracker.
When Jesus said “This is my blood that you drink,
And this is my body you eat”
Did something he knew of their tastes make him think
They were zombies, and lusting for meat?
Did the Catholic Church, from the time of Saint Peter,
Rejoice in the words that he said,
And at least once a week, become Zombie flesh-eater
And feast upon Jesus Undead?
I worry it’s some sort of slippery slope
Where they struggle ‘gainst gravity’s chains
And I wonder if Ratzinger got to be Pope
By eating the Cardinals’ brains.
Fun stuff, after the jump:
Mmmmm…Brains…
This verse was originally accompanied by this Venn Diagram by Jessica Hagy:
It was brought to mind tonight because Cuttledaughter and I were just watching the AMC Walking Dead marathon. Turns out she has very detailed and specific plans in the event of the upcoming Zombie Apocalypse. I don’t know whether to be very proud or very disturbed.
It’s good to see da youf of ‘Merica thoughtfully preparing for eventualities.
I lol’d. Hello, zombocalypse!
Proud. Very, very proud. When the inevitable comes she will have the resources and means to restore some order from the destructive chaos. You must be proud of that.
Be proud, she’s planning for the worst case scenari. Has she got a copy of the yellow pages and a actual physical map in her zombie survival kit? you got to know where the best places for getting supplies are.
And, if stories can be believed, there is a Michigan State University college course on Zombie Survival. Perhaps Cuttledaughter is preparing for her teaching career. Here’s the link:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/07/michigan-state-zombie-class_n_1328752.html
Perhaps you should show her the CDCs Zombie Apocalypse preparedness blog:
http://blogs.cdc.gov/publichealthmatters/2011/05/preparedness-101-zombie-apocalypse/
To be semi-serious, they started it to get people interested in preparing for natural disasters, (what to put in your emergency kit, etc) but it has really taken off. Check out the T-shirts!
Has she watched Zombieland yet? There are some good rules for dealing with Zombie Apocalypse in there too: Rule 1 Cardio!
TIS, Amen….
Kylie, Awesome poetry! I like the Venn, as well.