Blasphemy Day is important. Not for offending people, but for celebrating the right to speak without fear that such an offense can land you in jail, or worse. Political speech often offends me, but the rough-and-tumble of open political debate is a good thing. When we coddle ideas, we allow bad ones to flourish. Religious speech is, and should be, protected in the same sense that political speech is. This includes religious speech that the listener disagrees with. A day to celebrate this idea? I like it. More after the jump:
Calloo, Callay! It’s blasphemy day!
When we tug on the beard of the prophet;
When we say to the pope, “you’re a miserable dope;
That ex cathedra chair? Just get off it!”
We point out that god is an impotent sod–
If indeed we assume god exists–
Just a vanishing fable, forever unable
To step from mythology’s mists.
Here’s your chance to express what you think of this mess;
If you haven’t before, you should try it!
If you try just one bite, just one blaspheme, you might
Find a welcome new dish for your diet!
The first amendment means, to me,
The right to play at blasphemy;
The right to say “There is no God”
Without the threat of firing squad.
To speak, or sing, or draw, or write
And not be paralyzed with fright.
To mock Jehovah if I wish;
To point and laugh at Jesus fish;
And though the image strikes me weird,
To pluck Mohammed’s silly beard.
To say such things as I may choose
Regardless of opposing views.
About the pow’r of Holy Writ
I proudly do not give a shit.
LOVE the illustration! Suits the verse very well! :D
Huzzah!
The Walrus’s Prayer
With apologies to Lewis Carroll
“The time has come,” the Walrus said,
“To talk of many things:
Of shoes–and ships–and sealing-wax–
Of cabbages–and kings–
And why the sea is boiling hot–
And whether pigs have wings.”
Said walrus to the Carpenter
There will be some discourse.
The sea seems rather tepid now.
It may one day get worse.
And yes, we know that pigs can’t fly.
Someday perhaps they will.
But currently they’re here on earth,
Well grounded, eating swill.
I’d like to differentiate
Tween things that are corporeal
And those which dwell in metaphor
Meant more to be pictorial.
These cabbages can be consumed.
A taste I do not favor.
But real they are, though I prefer
A food of different flavor.
Shoes and ships, we know of.
These are never phasmagorical
And have not been been predicted
By divinity or oracle.
I have seen kings and sealing wax.
One thought I can’t resist
Seems I’m speaking to a Carpenter
I know does not exist.
(Had their really been a Carpenter,
You might have heard Him squawk,
“Well, perhaps I am not real.
But then now walruses can’t talk.” )
Cuttle, The meter is rather uneven. It kept breaking into Gilbert and Sullivan, rather than Lewis Carroll, as it went along. Thank you for that. (Grin)
I opened my eyes this Blasphemy Day
ALIVE?
Surprise!
It’s a wondrous new day.
Confused as I am as
I remove my pajamas,
to find myself waking
O’er someone’s god I’m forsaking
by refusing to kneel down and pray
so they say.
Now,
I’ve heard there’s a “Word”
such a wonderful “Word”
about some kind of zombie
with a federal lobby
and his father’s quite a belligerent Turd.
So,
O’er wine and a curd
I looked up the Turd
and found the “Word” was completely absurd
and the zombie’s lobby
had a hobby
keeping reality blurred.
The Bible, they tell me
is a ticket from Hell, see?
From where the Turd and his zombie son
will spare us each and everyone
if we drop to our knees,
swallow their disease,
and hand over the keys
to our minds.
However,
looking through my opened eyes
I can see through the zombie lobby’s lies
and hear the innocent children’s cries
over the Turd’s buzzing flies.
I shout at all you girls and guys
possessing all the traits of the wise
keep on asking all of those why’s
and soon we’ll clean up religion’s sties.