Pope flees from act of God

Pope Francis was in the Philippines, attempting to comfort victims of a catastrophic storm, but his visit (and his comfort) were cut short by what insurance companies like to call “an act of God.”

Pope Francis was forced Saturday to flee a fierce storm in the Philippines that killed a papal volunteer, cutting short a mercy mission to weeping survivors of a catastrophic super typhoon…

Francis delivered an emotional mass to about 200,000 people in the typhoon-ravaged central Philippine city of Tacloban.

However, plans to spend the entire day in Tacloban and nearby areas that were devastated by Super Typhoon Haiyan 14 months ago were ruined by another storm, forcing him to fly back to Manila at lunchtime.

Despite the death of a papal volunteer due to the storm-induced collapse of some steel scaffolding, Pope Francis assured everyone that God is still a basically good fellow.

The pope declared Jesus would never let them down, and many in the crowd said the pontiff’s words had indeed lifted their spirits.

He may kill you, and destroy your homes and families, and leave you emotionally and financially devastated, but other than that, sure, he’s got your back. Great guy. And hey Pope Francis, don’t look now, but he’s following you…

The storm is forecast to follow the pope west across the Philippines and hit Manila on Sunday, when a crowd of up to six million people is expected to hear him celebrate mass at a park.

Shouldn’t be a problem as long as Jesus really can calm raging storms, like Matthew 8 said. After all, he’ll never let you down, right?


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