A riddle

Here’s a riddle for you. What do you call a father who never shows up any more to spend any time with his children, who stays away so much that they wouldn’t even recognize his face or his voice, and never shows up to help when they really need him?

A) A deadbeat dad.
B) God.

Tough one, ain’t it?



  1. mikespeir says

    Oh, but I’ve heard testimony after testimony about how God has always been there in time of need. “…for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.” And it’s true, they tell me. I guess I just don’t have the imagination for it. 🙁

  2. Cerus says

    And who sends you unreliably postmarked letters (looks like your skeevy uncle’s handwriting) threatening you with a beating if you don’t comply with the demands in the letter (which mostly involves giving your uncle money).

  3. Emmet says


    If God is who Christians claim him to be, he isn’t in fact a “father who never shows up to spend any time with his children, who stays away so much that they wouldn’t even recognize his face or his voice, and never shows up to help when they really need him”, so the above analogy falls flat on its face.

    Or did I miss something in this post?

    • Deacon Duncan says

      I assume you’re referring to God allegedly showing up 2,000 years ago or so? I’m talking about fathers who show up to spend time with their living children.

  4. Owlmirror says

    I feel compelled to cite scripture…

    And of which of you that is a father shall his son ask a loaf, and he give him a stone? or a fish, and he for a fish give him a serpent? Or if he shall ask an egg, will he offer him a scorpion?

    … and deconstruct it.

    When we ask anything of God — the putative Father — we don’t usually get it, and when we do get it, it certainly looks like by means that are indistinguishable from not coming from God. We don’t even get an answer as to why we don’t get it.

    It might be argued that the verses only apply to True Believers ™ , yet they don’t seem to get anything when they ask for anything. Petitionary prayer fails to be distinguishable from chance.

    “For everyone who asks receives” appears to be bullshit, much like the whole faith moving mountains business. It looks like a grandiose claim, but I’m pretty sure that if anyone pointed this out, the withering response would probably be something like “It only applies to spiritual things”, or something like that. But that doesn’t seem to work either.

    And yet, despite all of the above, True Believers ™ believe. True Believers ™ , as best I can tell, are in the business of calling “stones”, “bread” (when it suits them), and “snakes”, “fish”, and “scorpions”, “eggs”. Because that’s how faith works; post-hoc rationalization.

  5. jasperthepilot says

    I think most Christians would say that their god “shows up” by taking their cancer away, making the bank loan go through, providing food for their Thanksgiving dinner, etc. They never seem to attribute anything to the natural order of reality.

    Here’s another riddle: what do you call a father who tortures his disobedient children with fire?

  6. davidct says

    There was no mention of not paying court ordered child support so I’ll have to go with B.


    Christians have not really got a handle on who or what showed up 200 years ago. They never exactly call it god and certainly not a father.

  7. charleyjensen says

    What a crock !
    The funniest thing after a disaster of any magnitude is the stereotypical interview with some religious yokel at the foot of his hospital bed who was tossed in the air by a tornado which broke at least one arm and caused him to have his head bandaged from the cuts that accompany his concussion, as well as having killed his wife, favorite dog and year old baby, leaving his Ford F-150 in a tree in the next county and demolishing his barn as he looks deeply into the camera and says “God was lookin’ out fer me today !”
    What a crock !!!

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