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Theatre sends in fake armed gunman in worst publicity stunt ever

Imagine you’re a staunch NRA member legally pack’n, in the movie house settling in for a newly released super hero movie, and lo and behold, all of the sudden an armed gunman in full Dawg-theBounty-Hunter gear is up in front of you, what might you do? What might the stranger also pack’n one row over do to you or anyone else when you do what you’ve been jonsing to do since you bought that sweet Glock? This could have gone wrong in a lot of ways. As is, since no one was hurt, do we just call it the worst publicity stunt ever conceived? Or just the worst one this decade?

ABC News Affiliate in JEFFERSON CITY, Mo — Management at the Goodrich Capital 8 Theaters is defending what it calls a publicity stunt at the movie theaters this past weekend.

During the opening weekend of the latest ‘Iron Man’ movie, a man walked into the theater in full tactical gear and carrying a fake gun. Jefferson City police and witnesses, however, are not pleased with the stunt and are questioning the theater’s logic after recent shootings in Aurora, Colo. and Newtown, Conn.

Are people really this morbidly inept? Apparently so. Goddamit, we have almost 8% unemployment, we’re particularly hurting in the jobs that pay a living wage, and these management clowns cooked this up? Red lights and clanging alarms should have flashed in the head of every single person involved over age five. If they’re still employed that should be the second set of alarms going off. Hang out an ad, see a head hunter, in this economy the line of qualified candidates to replace those bozos will stretch around the block.

Comments

  1. theignored says

    Why is it that reading the news is now starting to seem like I’m reading the “Onion”?

  2. Ulysses says

    What were those people thinking? If there had been an off-duty cop or someone with a concealed carry present then there would have been a shootout. The only good thing is the shooting would have been one-way, so fewer bystanders would have been killed or wounded.

  3. machintelligence says

    I think it is was the common failing to say, just after “that sounds like a neat idea”,“what could possibly go wrong?

  4. StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return! says

    They did … what?!

    Really?

    .. Seriously?

    I don’t even .. WTF?!

  5. StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return! says

    @4. machintelligence :

    “what could possibly go wrong?

    It tookme less than a second to think of the possibility that what could go wrong is that the fake gunma could spark a shooing frenzy where xe and hepas of innocent bystanders are killed by gun carrying movie goers and /or spark a deadly stampede for the exist that sees people get crushed and /.or cause people tosufer heart attacks.

    About two minutes to type this.

    (Plus pretty sure you already had that same reaction and thoughts too – like most people I’d guess would do.)

    I.. I ..really .. do not ..believe .. they’d do something that flippin’ stupid! Whaduhfuuu….

    Seems they weren’t thinking one nano-particle sized bit.

    Wonder what their insurer makes of this?

  6. StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return! says

    Arggh. Typos. Sorry.

    Y’all get the gist anyhow I hope.

  7. lorn says

    Wow, remarkably brain-dead. Indeed this is so idiotic that it almost seems to have been planned to be a stupid as possible. In that it is something of artistic performance piece. Like a tone-deaf Buster Keaton and his highly engineered slapstick. But without the talent and humor.

    IMHO there might be some appropriate legal charges that might be leveled: reckless endangerment, inciting a riot, depraved indifference, creating a pubic nuisance, and, the always handy, disturbing the peace and malicious mischief.

    Display of a weapon and menacing might also apply. Even though there was no actual weapon both of those laws are written so that anything not immediately identifiable as a fake weapon, from the back row of the theater, counts.

    If the actor said anything about people having to stay, or implying that they cannot leave, while brandishing the fake gun or acting as if he intended violence it is kidnapping. Seeing as the manager was involved it would be a conspiracy.

    I won’t claim any of those will stick but people have been railroaded for less and spending a few hours explaining themselves to a judge, with the possibility of a couple of decades in the big house dangling overhead, might help sober them.

    A judge used to creative sentencing might usefully assign these clowns to working with the families of shooting victims. I figure 500 hours helping families of shooting victims, seeing how serious and devastating it is to a family, sounds about right.

  8. robb says

    see? that is why everyone needs to be armed. if an armed gunman walked into a theater full of other armed gunmen, then no one would notice and everything would be okay.!11!!!11!

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