How not to get famous


Spokane’s most single man is getting a heck of a lot of press. Inquisitr covers him, he made it to Seattle television news…I almost feel sorry for him.

But then I discovered his Tumblr page.

cuties

creep

Sympathy…evaporated. Although with this kind of heavy criticism, it might be a good idea for law enforcement to be aware of him in order to protect him. Another side of this kind of toxic masculinity is that some people will feel justified in doing violence to him. Nothing he has done warrants violent action or even legal sanctions — his creepiness is self-defeating.

I do appreciate the fact, though, that he has taken a fairly common ugly sort of behavior and taken it to such an extreme that the media finally noticed.

Comments

  1. thelastholdout says

    Fun fact: two years ago a friend of mine and I came across this asshole in an atheist group, where he had made a post bitching that a girl wouldn’t date him because she believed in God and he didn’t. Alarmingly, no one called him on the level of creepy that was posting her picture and complaining about her rejection to strangers until my friend and I did. Needless to say, he didn’t react well. We even made a joke group called “The Society for Analysis of Lucas A Werner (SOFALAW).”

    Of course, imagine my surprise when, over the last few days, I started getting dozens of join requests for a group I hadn’t touched in two years. It was really surreal finding out that he’d made the news and gone viral.

  2. thelastholdout says

    Two years ago a friend and I ran across Lucas in that Atheist, Agnostic and Non Religious group. He’d made a post whining that he’d been rejected by a girl for being an atheist, complete with that girl’s picture. Alarmingly, no one called him on the creep factor before my friend and I did, and he didn’t react well when we said something about it.

    His responses were so cringeworthy that I ended up making a joke group called “The Society for the Analysis of Lucas A Werner (SOFALAW).”

    Imagine my surprise when, after lying dormant for two years, I started getting join requests, dozens of them, over the last couple of days. When I posted and asked what was up, the new members filled me in.

    Talk about surreal.

    Anyway, apparently he’s been building a name for himself online for a while now with his insanely creepy behavior. The shit I’ve seen over the last couple of days is a hundred times worse than what I saw when I originally dealt with him.

  3. jambonpomplemouse says

    Every once in a while I see a screenshot like this where some creepo is offering free lodging in his one-bedroom apartment for a sexual relationship. I’m trying to figure out what world these guys live in that you can get regular, exclusive services from a sex worker (with, presumably, house keeping included) and have it only cost half a month’s rent. Amazing that they think that’s a reasonable offer.

  4. wzrd1 says

    Rarely have I witnessed a man go to such great pains and lengths to remove himself from the gene pool.

    But, he’s shown that he missed his true calling – as a poster child for the abortion clinic.

  5. slithey tove (twas brillig (stevem)) says

    No such thing as “free rent” you gotta pay rent with sex on the landholder. Oooooo

  6. slithey tove (twas brillig (stevem)) says

    you can sleep with me for free
    I’d like to see the waiting list

  7. says

    In comment #1, it is noted that Lucas is getting worse.

    […] a hundred times worse than what I saw when I originally dealt with him.

    That is not a good sign. I think the guy needs help now. Before he turns his creepy ideas into actions that do not involve willing participants.

  8. Greta Samsa says

    Every once in a while I see a screenshot like this where some creepo is offering free lodging in his one-bedroom apartment for a sexual relationship. I’m trying to figure out what world these guys live in that you can get regular, exclusive services from a sex worker (with, presumably, house keeping included) and have it only cost half a month’s rent. Amazing that they think that’s a reasonable offer.

    I suppose he imagines that he’s the seller.

  9. Greta Samsa says

    While reading the article, I realized the question I’d missed before:
    Why did he give her a note to hit on her? Did he think he’d be attacked if he spoke to her? I suppose he’d be expelled from the store faster, but that’d be necessary either way.

  10. Greta Samsa says

    slithey, #9
    I can understand that; I’d probably do the same. It seems that he’s got an absurd level of self-confidence, however, since he can so proudly post “memes” declaring the virtue of his bodily fluids, so I don’t quite understand why he would.

  11. Onamission5 says

    Passing a note allows him to subject the target to whatever he’d like to subject her to without him having to deal with her reaction/rejection up front. He then gets to choose whether or not to follow up at his own leisure while the target is left wondering wtf. In this case I’d put my money on it being a power and control thing. This guy isn’t interested in any sort of discoveries which would lead to reassessing his attitudes, behaviors, or tactics, and he’s not interested in treating his targets as though he’s interacting with other human beings. Notes, catcalling, it’s about letting his desires be known in circumstances with a lesser chance of objection. It’s not about being shy or whatever. If it was, he’d not be engaging in street harassment.

  12. says

    PZ

    Nothing he has done warrants violent action or even legal sanctions — his creepiness is self-defeating.

    I’m with you on preemptive violence, but the rest of this is so bad that yes, legal action may be appropriate. As thelastholdout noticed, he’s been getting worse. His behaviour are warning signs, the very signs people say “we should have noticed” after something happened.

  13. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    His behaviour are warning signs, the very signs people say “we should have noticed” after something happened.

    Unfortunately, that where is the US legal system is at the moment. Even SCOTUS is loath to commit somebody before a crime is committed. Which is one of the reasons why the cops don’t like playing social workers.

  14. DanDare says

    @14 unfortunately preemptive systems are way too easy to abuse for political and criminal gain. At best he can be put on a watch list and his behavior can have a big bright light shone on it.

  15. Saad says

    Women need to be instructed to make sure to be polite to him if approached (smile, eye contact) and refer him very politely to a physician for psychiatric evaluation.

  16. drken says

    I’m still not entirely convinced he’s not some Andy Kaufmannesc performance artist, but Kaufmann never bothered the general public and if he’s been at it as long as thelastholdout says, he’s probably sincere. So, I’ve learned my lesson on that point. He definitely needs help, but he probably won’t get it. Worse, he’s probably getting all sorts of support from online douchenozzles telling him to keep up the good fight. It only takes a couple of positive messages to keep a deluded mind going.

    But, right now the only thing missing from this is Richard Dawkins tweeting in defense of him. You know, it’s only mild Ephebophilia.

  17. says

    I’ve seen someone complain about liberals supporting the right for a business to refuse service to a badly behaved customer, as if discriminating against people engaged in skeevy stalkery behavior was equivalent to discriminating against someone on the basis of race, gender, orientation, or religion, implying that sexual predators deserve as much protection.

    The sad part is that I expect alt-right MRAs and even elected Republicans to spew that sort of garbage whenever a man get so much as a slap on the wrist for acting inappropriately. Hell, take a look at the hate for and lies about people who wanted to help the victims of child trafficking in California.

  18. lanir says

    People don’t openly do stuff like this unless they thrive on attention. So all the attention described probably feels like a reward for him even if it seems negative to us.

    The toxic male idea he primarily needs to get over is the one that tells him his sex drive is someone else’s problem to deal with. And that if it’s being neglected it’s not because other people are shirking their responsibilities. He just needs to find some alone time and make the problem go away. Then he can focus on his other no doubt sterling qualities in his search for companionship.

  19. mamba says

    What a douche!

    The guy puts out an ad saying he’ll give you a place, you sleep with him. Since the only “benefit” to the girl is the rent money, and he’s giving the money explicitly for sex, doesn’t that make her a prostitute and him a john and hence the very ad illegal? She’s literally sleeping with him for the rent money because it sure as HELL isn’t for his charm or personality!

    I like the attitude at the end…she’s the incredibly attractive female and he makes it sound like he’s doing HER a favour for letting her sleep with the prize that is him…and it doesn’t even cost her a dime! Gee, what a prize! The girl would have to have crippling brain damage to even consider him, though it seems that’s what he looks for in a woman anyway.

    Yeah, total douche!

  20. numerobis says

    Is rent-for-sex illegal in WA?

    It’s normally impossible to prosecute because you never would write that in a contract (and what self-respecting legal system would believe the woman), but that up there is a written contract offer.

  21. drken says

    @numerobis #22
    Exchange of sex for anything of value is, by definition, prostitution. Therefore, rent for sex is illegal in all 50 states (even Nevada where’ it’s limited to brothels). I could see somebody trying to make a case to prosecute him for solicitation, but I doubt the Spokane DA will go that far.

    @mamba #21
    If it wasn’t for the fact that a) it’s probably already been done, and b) I’d rather not die alone; I would put “you get to have sex with me for free” on my OKCupid profile. Alas, OKCupid is another place where my sense of humor is not appreciated (along with airport security lines and wedding speeches).

  22. hotspurphd says

    This man is indeed creepy and may act out in dangerous ways. He is also to be pitied because he is a lonely tortured man with little chance of positive change. Referral for psychological help would not work because he has no insight. His only chance for such help would be forced after involuntary commitment. And would be unlikely to do much good. I’ve seen many such cases in my work as a psychologist in psychiatric hospitals and clinics. i can empathize with those who vilify and make fun of him -his behavior certainly pulls for that- but I’m sorry to see so little empathy here for a suffering fellow human, who is unlikely to get better. If he were to read the things said about him here it would only make him worse.

  23. says

    hotspurphd

    but I’m sorry to see so little empathy here for a suffering fellow human, who is unlikely to get better.

    That’s probably your professionalism, but seriously, what is it with people first thinking about the creepy dude and then about the victims?
    His suffering is 90% of his own making. You admit yourself that he may be dangerous.

    If he were to read the things said about him here it would only make him worse.

    That’s classical “be nice to your abuser or you only have yourself to blame if he hurts you” there. You emphasise a lot that he’S a human being, yet you act like he’s a dumb beast with zero control and agency.

    You know who I think about? All the women who’ve had a Lucas Werner in their life, a guy who insisted that his dick was what they really need. I’ve had that happen to me and I remember how it feels. How objectifying, how terrifying it is. How unsafe you suddenly feel.
    But you say I should pity him because the women he terrifies don’t give him pussy and he is therefore sad?
    I also had somebody pull a “I will kill myself if you don’t do what I want” on me. And I know that this person was suffering as well (also a lot of her own making), but she was not the victim, I was.
    So no, I’m not being paid to have sympathy with that guy and I will spend my energy focusing on his victims, not him.

  24. Saad says

    hotspurphd, #25

    I’m sorry to see so little empathy here for a suffering fellow human

    What’s the suffering?