Torturing SF authors for charity
Ryan is considering the sexualization of the female body in geek art, and like all of us people with Y chromosomes, my first thought was, “But what about the meeeeeennnnzzz?” (if you’re reading this aloud, as I’m sure you do, be sure to put a good nasal whine into the phrase). Fortunately, my question has been answered, because Jim Hines and John Scalzi are using SF book covers as guides for posing sexily.
You might not want to click on that link if you’re the sensitive sort.
Scalzi is always willing to indulge in these kinds of stunts, and I’m thinking that a truly malicious sort of person could send him SF and comic book covers that would land him in the hospital with severe spinal injuries and broken ribs and shattered legs. Because, you see, this is what happens to us poor, weak, pitiful men when we try to keep up with those infinitely flexible creatures made out of rubber bands and balloons called “women”.
Caine, Fleur du mal:
December 11th, 2012 at 10:45 am
Jim Hines wins that pose off, but John Scalzi gets something something for almost making me drop hot tea all over myself.
The Mellow Monkey: Caerie:
December 11th, 2012 at 10:51 am
I’m going to forever picture Scalzi like that. Lurking in some bizarre and uncomfortable position, holding a crossbow he can’t possibly fire without falling over…waiting.
The expression on his face is really what sells it.
Josh, Exasperated SpokesGay:
December 11th, 2012 at 10:56 am
Escher Guys!
Janine: Hallucinating Liar:
December 11th, 2012 at 10:57 am
I will not be impressed until one of them poses, showing off both breasts and butt.
Caine, Fleur du mal:
December 11th, 2012 at 11:01 am
Janine:
If I remember right, Jim Hines already attempted that pose in the early poses. He didn’t have much good to say about that pose, either.
Josh, Exasperated SpokesGay:
December 11th, 2012 at 11:01 am
In the meantime, Janine, check out my Twitter avatar. It’s the USS Enterprise in a boobs-n-butt pose:
https://twitter.com/SpokesGay
Emrysmyrddin:
December 11th, 2012 at 11:01 am
I love this so much I can barely type for laughing.
Janine: Hallucinating Liar:
December 11th, 2012 at 11:07 am
The Enterprise had a come hither look for Kirk?
Kinky!
Beatrice:
December 11th, 2012 at 11:10 am
I knew I’d seen something similar already, and now that I’ve managed to dig out the link, I see it’s Jim Hines trying out more poses:
http://www.jimchines.com/2012/01/striking-a-pose/
Beatrice:
December 11th, 2012 at 11:11 am
And now I see Caine already mentioned that.
Sorry, I just skimmed the comments to check no one else linked to this already.
Giliell, Approved Straight Chorus:
December 11th, 2012 at 11:14 am
Jim Hines has several series on this, also one on male characters where he came to the conclusion that they hurt less and although often silly still showed of their strength and tho teh Seggthie.
He also writes entertaining books
Caine, Fleur du mal:
December 11th, 2012 at 11:14 am
Beatrice, I mentioned it, but I didn’t link – thanks for that!
Janine: Hallucinating Liar:
December 11th, 2012 at 11:14 am
Regarding #9.
Oh John Ringo no!
Audley Z. Darkheart (liar, scoundrel, college dropout):
December 11th, 2012 at 11:15 am
As if I needed another reason to ♥ Scalzi… .
Cynickal:
December 11th, 2012 at 11:16 am
I’m disturbed.
… That so many authors own crossbows.
Rodney Nelson:
December 11th, 2012 at 11:19 am
Cynickal #15
It’s only a problem if you’re an overzealous editor…or a critic.
NelC:
December 11th, 2012 at 11:38 am
Since Escher guys have been mentioned, I think I should explicitly link to Escher Girls so you can see more horrible examples of bad posing and bad anatomy, if you should want to.
Gregory Greenwood:
December 11th, 2012 at 11:46 am
That Jim Hines actually went so far as to shave one of his legs* adds an extra level of awesomnitude to proceedings.
————————————————————————————————————————–
* And who would have thought that a bearded SF author would have such nice looking legs?
Caine, Fleur du mal:
December 11th, 2012 at 11:49 am
Gregory:
His wife?
:scampers off:
Gregory Greenwood:
December 11th, 2012 at 12:41 pm
Caine, Fleur du mal @ 19;
True, but she’s probably biased.
Scampering – ’tis the cutest mode of locomotion. Even more so when you have nice (multi-jointed arthropod) legs.
I mean, just look at this
adoreable fella…
Caine, Fleur du mal:
December 11th, 2012 at 12:45 pm
Gregory:
Eeeee, must have!
F [disappearing]:
December 11th, 2012 at 1:17 pm
I’ll just fix that explicit link to Escher Girls to explicitly link to Escher Girls.
holytape:
December 11th, 2012 at 1:58 pm
Send him any Rob Liefeld cover. There is absolutely no way anyone could ever pose the way he draws women, and not suffer a horrible death.
Gregory Greenwood:
December 11th, 2012 at 2:39 pm
Caine, Fleur du mal @ 21;
I know. A plush rendition of cinema’s most infamous acid-blood-toting parasite shouldn’t work. It shouldn’t be cute. It shouldn’t trigger the ‘squee, snuggle attack’ reflex, but somehow it just does.
It is all because we are godless infidels, you understand – we naturally want our own pet biomechanical killing machines.
That and a ready supply of succulent roast babies; what more could a black-hearted member of the Horde ask for…?
Tony ∞The Queer Shoop∞:
December 11th, 2012 at 3:06 pm
Holytape:
Liefeld does horrible art period. The women are in awkward, sexualized poses, while the men are buff, macho fantasies given _horrible_ form and just as awkward.
I want to see real people attempt to pose like the cover of YOUNGBLOOD #1 (’91).
****
Gregory, Caine:
I do not think I would call that cute…YMMV
NelC:
December 11th, 2012 at 3:12 pm
Oops! Thanks, F [disappearing]!
Caine, Fleur du mal:
December 11th, 2012 at 3:25 pm
Tony:
It’s adorable! Of course, I have an actual facehugger – Amelia. She still does that to me when I’m trying to sleep.
auntbenjy:
December 11th, 2012 at 3:52 pm
Rion Sabean is officially my new hero :D
I’m not sure I should admit this here, but I am a Conan RPG player (and no, I don’t play a temptress). Illustrations like this are an endless source of amusement for us. Not quite an Escher Girl, but still WTF.
http://www.amazon.com/Adventures-Hyborian-Conan-Mongoose-Publishing/dp/1905850522
Rodney Nelson:
December 11th, 2012 at 3:58 pm
Tony ∞The Queer Shoop∞ #25
For some reason Liefeld cannot draw feet.
The Mellow Monkey: Caerie:
December 11th, 2012 at 4:02 pm
But he really, really likes pouches.
Ogvorbis: 300-year-old Woodcut:
December 11th, 2012 at 4:13 pm
Well done.
Jim Hines is very good at mocking stereotypes. Especially the ones that make no sense. His Goblin Quest trilogy is a perfect example.
Audley Z. Darkheart (liar, scoundrel, college dropout):
December 11th, 2012 at 5:14 pm
Auntbenjy
Heh. Mr Darkheart plays, too.
Gregory Greenwood:
December 11th, 2012 at 5:15 pm
Tony ∞The Queer Shoop∞ @ 25;
It appears that you and I, good sir, have very different definitions of cute…
Amarantha:
December 11th, 2012 at 6:59 pm
This is awesome. But all the “ew, hairy men are posing, you can’t unsee it” rhetoric makes me a bit sad. It’s just the other side of the “women are sexy by definition” coin. I agree that the pose is ridiculous for any human being, but I think the blokes look awesome in their slinky dresses and spiky shoes. Looking forward to Stross’s pose for the $5,000 milestone.
makeinu:
December 11th, 2012 at 7:43 pm
I’ve always loved Scalzi for his writing (“Fuzzy Nation” was brilliant), and his long-ago entry, Being Poor is a perennial favorite of mine, but this?
Pure. Fucking. Gold.
John Morales:
December 11th, 2012 at 7:50 pm
[OT]
Amarantha,
Try freeze-framing people dancing, and you’ll see many ridiculous poses.
sgailebeairt:
December 11th, 2012 at 8:27 pm
….speaking of ridonkulous poses, anyone else catch teh Amazing atheist freaking out, over the #hawkeyeinitiative this past week….??
Rodney Nelson:
December 11th, 2012 at 8:47 pm
sgailebeairt #37
No. Or to put it another way, HELL NO!
sgailebeairt:
December 12th, 2012 at 8:08 pm
huh it looks like he took it down….it was very dumb & mostly him, totally missing the point, like ‘how is it okay for blacks to say, i mean women to exploit men???…but here is doubling down on his basic argument in a snit at with dave willis
http://amazingatheist.tumblr.com/post/37566048181/actually-this-comic-kinda-makes-my-point-better