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Jan 28 2012

What is it with all the donuts?

First it was Stuart Pivar, deriving everything by twisting plastic toroids around; then it was Fleury, master of the swirling vortices, and then Andrulis, gyring and gimbling in the wabe. And now…The Thrive Movement. It’s completely bonkers. It’s got these high aspirations, striving to create a thriving world living in peace and harmony with nature and all that, and as far as goals go, it’s rather sweet. But then you watch the promotional video…

Ancient astronauts! Crop circles! Mysterious symbols! UFOs! David Icke and Deepak Chopra, mating! (Oh, OK, I made the last bit up…but they are both in the movie). Perpetual motion machines! Global conspiracies to bury the secret of free energy! People waving their hands over glowing CGI donuts!

Here’s their “science” proposal:

Let’s look to see how to use the lenses of the torus and the Global Domination Agenda (GDA) to optimize our solutions strategies.

In my view the GDA is focused on destroying individual wholeness and centralizing power over others. Surviving and thriving as individuals and as a species depends, I believe, on learning rapidly how to do just the opposite.

Through recognizing the wholeness of the toroidal energy form and the infinite abundance of the energy plenum we inhabit, we can have clean, inexpensive energy for everyone through “New Energy” technology. No war, no pollution, no combustion.

Further on, they announce that “Evidence continues to mount that we are all holons in a boundless holarchy, free nodes in a fully-interconnected, holographic and fractal universe of infinite energy.” None of this evidence is provided, of course. That would violate the first rule of kookery.

Let me tell you, though, I’m beginning to look on bakeries with great suspicion.

76 comments

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  1. 1
    Zeno

    And what is god supposed to be? The Holon One?

    Subpar. I know.

  2. 2
    ambassadorfromverdammt

    Many Canadians congregate at Tim Horton’s to worship the bull.

  3. 3
    Ms. Daisy Cutter, General Manager for the Cleveland Steamers

    David Icke and Deepak Chopra, mating!

    GODDAMNIT PZ IT’S TOO EARLY TO START DRINKING HERE

  4. 4
    Larry

    Let’s look to see how to use the lenses of the torus and the Global Domination Agenda (GDA) to optimize our solutions strategies.

    I am so using that at our next marketing meeting.

  5. 5
    Glen Davidson

    None of this evidence is provided, of course.

    It’s enough to know that there’s a conspiracy out there. The UFOnauts know.

    Or in other words, it’s pretty much a new age religion.

    Glen Davidson

  6. 6
    SC (Salty Current), OM

    It makes me furious that these people are trying to inject their woo and conspiracy-theorizing into legitimate arguments about capitalism and power and the Occupy movement. It almost makes you think the video is really the work of a rightwi…nah.

    :)

    ***

    I can never decide whether I love or hate the word “torus.” “Toroidal” is right out, though.

  7. 7
    chigau (違う)

    That video almost made me weep.
    They all look so clean and wholesome, it’s hard to believe that their skulls contain vacuum.

  8. 8
    lordshipmayhem

    I recall a TV show where the physicist used “jelly doughnut units” to demonstrate conversion of energy (he also used Tour du France cyclists as part of the conversion of stored energy). This, on the other hand, is conversion of my time to pure wasted energy.

    Salty, I don’t mind the word “torus”, except its too often associated with the word, “Taurus”.

  9. 9
    ChasCPeterson

    Donuts, eh? An obvious police conspiracy. ‘Torus’ is just ‘roust’ spelled sideways, sort of.

  10. 10
    Dhorvath, OM

    I love me some donuts. Mmm, mmm. And they do seem to have provided me with prolonged energy: it keeps hanging around my midsection.

  11. 11
    radpumpkin

    None of the creatures that visit me during my acid trips ever leave me The Secrets of The Universe (TM) behind. Am I doing something wrong?

  12. 12
    HaggisForBrains

    Is this real? That looks like Ed Begley Jnr. playing Foster Gamble.

  13. 13
    WhiteHatLurker

    They have cool graphics though. The little flash thingy at the bottom of their webpage is cute.

  14. 14
    Zeno

    I sense an opportunity for a breakaway sect that insists on the Old Spelling: doughnut.

  15. 15
    Dick the Damned

    Zeno, i used to work for Local Government, & in the Building Control Department, there was a notice regarding ordering ‘doenuts’. I had to point out that was an oxymoron. But the notice remained.

  16. 16
    Neil Rickert

    PT Barnum was right. There is a sucker born every minute, and “Thrive” is out to exploit those suckers.

  17. 17
    chigau (違う)

    “doenuts” would be a GREAT alternative name for TimBits (donut holes)!

  18. 18
    brucej

    There are toruses worth worshiping here.

    To steal from membase “Bacon doughnuts. Your argument is invalid.”

  19. 19
    Nick Gotts

    Sheesh. Ten seconds of this kind of ultra-stupidity is more depressing than an hour of corporate PR videos.

  20. 20
    Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought

    Oy, they seems to be a bunch of libertarians. They want to privatize schools. On the “education” part of their website is this:

    Stage 2: Limit Government Control

    Transition State Scholarship Program to a Private, Charitable Fund

    With billions of dollars of taxpayer money returned to the people in Stage 2, more and more funds would be available for charitable contributions. Caring for others would no longer be handled (inadequately) by the state, but the responsibility of citizens. Given the current state of the world, it’s clear that the state, while officially responsible, actually fails in its role.

    State schools would no longer exist and people would be free to pursue the type of education they desire. The state scholarship program would be phased out and privately run scholarship programs would kick in. For a breakdown of the numbers and how this could work, see Chris Cardiff’s article, What About the Poor?.

  21. 21
    Multifarious

    I saw their website. Might be a new ..movement (??) but they make the same crappy, anchor filled, soundbite overloaded pages as the average xian-community page.
    What’s wrong with these people, don’t they know they have to LURE people in, tickle the interest bone before smothering with half-assed as science disguised advertorials?

    Plus, it always seems like they just throw out the same kind of silly-net, which only gathers stuff for which there is no scientific basis at all. Always the same stuff too.
    Dubious in nature, Incoherant and Unrelated.

    DIU.

    Every. Friggin’. Time.

  22. 22
    cowalker

    Here I was thinking we are all pornos in a boundless pornarchy, free nodes in a fully-interconnected, pornographic and fractal universe of infinite energy.

  23. 23
    Hairy Chris, blah blah blah etc

    Connect the dots? Yup, all fucking loonies.

  24. 24
    'Tis Himself

    They’re only about .4 Timecube.

  25. 25
    ibyea

    @Tis Himself
    If this is what .4 Timecube is like, I don’t think I want to know what Timecube is like.

  26. 26
    Dick the Damned

    chigau @ 17, yeah.

    I’m exiled in the UK, so can only dream of donuts at Tim’s. I’m sitting here salivating at the thought of Canadian Maple & Boston Cream.

  27. 27
    Glen Davidson

    Let me tell you, though, I’m beginning to look on bakeries with great suspicion.

    Bacon doesn’t lend support to woo.

    It’s always bacon for the win. Maybe not if it’s twisted into a torus, true, but that’d be just sick anyway.

    Glen Davidson

  28. 28
    Kagehi

    With billions of dollars of taxpayer money returned to the people in Stage 2, more and more funds would be available for charitable contributions. Caring for others would no longer be handled (inadequately) by the state, but the responsibility of citizens. Given the current state of the world, it’s clear that the state, while officially responsible, actually fails in its role.

    State schools would no longer exist and people would be free to pursue the type of education they desire. The state scholarship program would be phased out and privately run scholarship programs would kick in. For a breakdown of the numbers and how this could work, see Chris Cardiff’s article, What About the Poor?.

    For a break down of why this is insane, consult history books pre-state scholarship/GI Bill, and anything at all about “charities” during the time of Oliver Twist.

    Yeah, I can definitely see what sort of education these idiots would “choose”. Almost as disturbing as the apparent trend of the Coch brothers to start funneling money into colleges, with strings, like, “We get to decide what, how, and who teaches stuff, or we take the money back.”, attached.

  29. 29
    unclefrogy

    stage 2: —The state scholarship program would be phased out and privately run scholarship programs would kick in.
    ———

    I always want to ask what makes you think that would happen? Who would these private organizations be?

    I am truly puzzled by this fixation on form that some people seem to get obsessed with. Not to forget “the power of crystals” that will also solve everything or something.
    That there are common forms in nature is not really so surprising that there are only so many elements and not an invite number of separate unrelated kinds is what we find. That they are made up of the same kind of particles which we are trying to find out what they are made of
    with vast machines.

    I too can see these common shapes all over they grow out of the 4 forces of nature what else could they be from. Not some other force that we can not test for some none corporeal elemental eternal force above or beyond the nature we can see but can believe exist surly?
    Is this “woo” the human mind making up an impersonal deity?

    uncle frogy

  30. 30
    ibyea

    @Glen
    How about a bacon Mobius Strip? ^_^

  31. 31
    Evolouie

    Bacon! Me Loves Bacon

  32. 32
    Evolouie

    Yes Bacon good http://www.flickr.com/photos/briankusler/2337430825/

  33. 33
    Pareidolius

    This unintentionally hilarious movie can be streamed for $5. At North Bay Skeptics, we’re going to have a screening with the projector and do our own MST3K evening. Someone suggested that we all have to take a drink everytime someone in the film says “quantum,” but that’ll probably mean alcohol poisoning.

  34. 34
    Sastra

    When I started reading this post I got a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Uh oh.

    Last week someone in my circle of friends was raving over some new dvd movie she wanted us all to watch. I forget the title, but it dealt primarily with environmentalism and economics (how the oil companies and people like the Rockafellers were running everything): it also included crop circles, quantum theory, and black holes. My bullshit detector was sending out huge red flags (in addition, the group is pretty new-agey), but on the off chance that it made some fairly reasonable point on the whole I agreed to join in and view it — offering my own house if needed.

    I bet it’s this movie. And I bet that the parts that aren’t crap are going to be swamped by the parts that are.

    And I bet everyone is going to hate me when I try to tell them that no, this is not science. No, this is not cutting-edge science. No, this is not a new way of understanding how to do science. No, it’s not just that I don’t understand. No, I am not being closed-minded. No, this is not the type of thing that ought to make people think real hard and deep about the “possibility.”

    And last but not least: no, I am not going to just agree that this all comes down to “opinion”; that all views are equally valid; that whatever anyone wants to think is up to them; and that I think it’s just fine if anyone wants to think this movie is making exciting new discoveries and breakthroughs and I would certainly never try to tell anyone they shouldn’t think that.

    They’re going to hate me. Fortunately, if I actually go through the plan to sit through this movie and then have a discussion afterwards, I won’t fucking care.

    My only hope is that they don’t hate me enough to kick me out. I’m good at dancing on that line, though. I have years of experience.

    Oh …. dear. But maybe I’m wrong. Maybe it’s some other movie. Some other movie involving both the Rockerfellers and crop circles. I’ll try to entertain that vague possibility as long as I can — as my own contribution to the grand art of Fooling Oneself.

    Wish me luck.

  35. 35
    Sastra

    Kagehi #28 wrote:

    Yeah, I can definitely see what sort of education these idiots would “choose”.

    Maybe it’s a front group for the Waldorf schools.

  36. 36
    unclefrogy

    some day I will learn how to spell or at least close enough for spell check to guess correctly (don’t hold your breath). I meant infinite and not invite in the above.
    uncle frogy

  37. 37
    thewhollynone

    It is my hypothesis that the human brain evolved to be addicted to con artistry. Most people are either con artists themselves, or they are in training to be con artists, or they are being gleefully gulled by con artists. Those few of us mutants who can detect and reject con artistry are always in every culture and historical period in grave danger of being burned at the stake.

  38. 38
    ibyea

    @Sastra
    My condolences. If just this is too kooky for me, I don’t know how you will be able to stand the whole movie.

  39. 39
    Multifarious

    @Sastra

    Bring with you books on quantum-mechanics. Tell them you would gladly discuss the matter with them, but that it wouldn’t be fair if they aren’t up to speed. Only agree to discuss with them if they are at least through half the books. If they refuse, then just call them out for the lazy cowards they are…

    Just a thought…

  40. 40
    Irène Delse, on dry land among seabirds

    Quote from the doughnut whisperers:

    No war, no pollution, no combustion.

    I can get behind the first two. But “no combustion”? Really? Do they want to declare war to their own metabolism?

  41. 41
    Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought

    Their vision:

    I imagine a world where each being is free to act according to his or her inner guidance, provided there is no violation of any other’s person or property.

    Association is voluntary, not coerced. Exchange is by choice, not force. There is no involuntary taxation (plunder), so there is no involuntary governance (tyranny). Money is a medium of exchange based on real value (sound currency) rather than arbitrary “fiat” decree (counterfeit and fraud). There are no wars of aggression (mass murder). A truly free market has led to prosperity beyond current imagining, where people have the time and the resources to follow their passions and to care for one another, as needed, voluntarily.

    …linky to the rest of this hallucinogenic experience. (Hint : if governments ceased to exist, we would spend the rest of our lives holding hands and singing Kumbaya)

  42. 42
    duphrane

    @ Sastra:

    Good luck. And up there made a good point, although it may be a bit theatrical to bring the actual books. Maybe just some quick primers on a host of subjects, such as quantum mechanics, thermodynamics (since these kooks brought up “free energy”), and just for fun, some psychological work on wishful thinking.

  43. 43
    jaimeoria

    Scene: Moe’s Tavern, Springfield USA

    Stephen Hawking: “Homer, your theory of a donut-shaped universe is intriguing… I may have to steal it.”

  44. 44
    jacobfromlost

    Well, if this engine thingie is literally true…why are they bothering to make a movie? Just manufacture them and sell them at cost, proving to those who buy them that they are real and generating money via charity to manufacture them for the 3rd world. Soon they will be more ubiquitous than ipods and cell phones combined.

    Although how you keep them from powering Death Rays built by the Reptilian Aliens is beyond me. Did you know all the presidents of the world are Reptilians, working for the rich who are also Reptilians? True story. Not just a theory. Literally true. Yeah. At least until I stumble upon a story I like better.

  45. 45
    codyreisdorf

    What kind of crappy elite global conspirators would let someone make a movie about their vast conspiracy? Also, how did the conspirators tamper with the last 200 years of physics evidence that requires extraction of free energy to be impossible?

  46. 46
    2-D Man

    Powerful toriods? Holy shit! They just figured out how Sonic the Hedgehog could run so fast!

  47. 47
    Rey Fox

    Donuts. Is there anything they can’t do?

  48. 48
    feralboy12

    If those powerful, secret Global Domination people ever find out about YouTube, we’re all in serious trouble.
    Let’s keep this quiet, OK?
    Killed By Fish

  49. 49
    RFW

    I gotses cropses circles!

    Plugses for me earlobes!

    Ain’t they cute‽

  50. 50
    Amateur

    I don’t suppose their promotional has anything to do with their $5 video rental (for 72 hours!), would it? It wouldn’t be about selling all those fine products on their “store” page on which one can buy the entire DVD set for $1200, would it? The “world is waking up” t-shirts for $30?

    Surely they are much more interested in the entire human race “thriving” in universal happiness, no matter what. Maybe just a little profit while they can get it?

    Oh, maybe I’m too cynical. I’m sure it isn’t about the money.

  51. 51
    Richard Drumm The Astronomy Bum

    Guh.
    Now my head is all ‘splodey.
    More superstitious nonsense, this time with a dash of every wacko spice thrown into the stew…
    Gonna go hurl.
    Pretty video, though.

  52. 52
    carolw

    This whole “world waking up and being happy together” all sounds like a creepy Jehovah’s Witnesses book I read. No thanks. I don’t like other people that much.

  53. 53
    Nick Gotts

    I am proud to say that one of the titles in my list of academic publications includes the word “Doughnut” (spelt properly, of course).

  54. 54
    Nick Gotts

    Beatrice@41,

    How disappointing: just standard issue glibertarians with a few extra lunacies.

  55. 55
    DLC

    This reminds me of the fellow who was bleating on Youtube about how I was like a 2 dimensional man, and he could show me how to become three-dimensional. None of these morons has even the slightest clue about quantum physics, or, from what people are saying, even about politics, history or psychology.
    They do seem to know how to produce a slick video, though.

  56. 56
    unclefrogy

    None of these morons has even the slightest clue about quantum physics, or, from what people are saying, even about politics, history or psychology.—–

    or much about any thing real except making videos and selling BS crap ( I know redundant )

    uncle frogy

  57. 57
    timgueguen

    “Clean energy is being suppressed!” conspiracy theories imply every single big corporation and government is involved. Which is ridiculous. All it takes is one to break the embargo and they’ll have infinite power and influence. Apparently I’m supposed to believe Hugo Chavez, Bashar al-Assad, and whoever is actually in control of North Korea this month, are all more interested in supporting the conspiracy instead of using this stuff to become Ultradictator of the World. Unless of course I’m supposed to believe that, being the bosses of countries filled with lots of non-Europeans, they and their subjects are too dumb to understand this stuff. Not so covert racism for the win!

  58. 58
    ronstrong

    Mmmmmmm, Donuts

  59. 59
    ronstrong

    More seriously, it really does seem to be a smorgasbord of woo. No matter what kind crazy ideas an individual may hold, it looks like this video has something for them.

    I suspect it will be very popular, alas.

  60. 60
    Brother Yam

    I imagine a world where each being is free to act according to his or her inner guidance, provided there is no violation of any other’s person or property.

    Hippie libertarians?

    Oh fuck, now I’ve seen everything…

  61. 61
    Markita Lynda—threadrupt

    For a moment, I thought you were talking about the Homer Simpson style of management: “Doughnuts today and the promise of more doughnuts tomorrow.”

  62. 62
    evilDoug

    Mmmmmm! High flux density molybdenum permalloy powder toroid wound with litz. A low AC loss doughnought* of which to be proud.

    *pronouced duff nowt

  63. 63
    evilDoug

    @ronstron @50
    “smorgasbord”
    You forgot the little toroid over the a.

  64. 64
    Inaji

    “Evidence continues to mount that we are all holons in a boundless holarchy, free nodes in a fully-interconnected, holographic and fractal universe of infinite energy.”

    And a global utopia could easily be achieved if only every person on the planet had a holoshed holodeck!

  65. 65
    Muz

    “Harnessing the unlimited power of Crank Magnetism”

  66. 66
    Azuma Hazuki

    From that fount of infallible knowledge, TVTropes (link not provided for everyone’s sanity): the “Flat What.”

    You’ve just been witness to something so bizarre, so eye-crossingly stupid (or possibly so mind-crushingly terrifying as to put you beyond the capacity for rational thought), that your brain no longer has the cognitive faculties to put together a more articulate response.

    Think of it this way. You were trying to say “WTF” with the emphasis on “F”, but your brain short-circuited before getting to “The”.

  67. 67
    psanity

    Well, they’ve got it all wrong. It’s another case of trying to bend facts to fit ideology. Of course, Doughnuts are god — but not these “quantum” ones; what good are they?

    Fortunately, there is no conflict between atheism and Doughnut worship, as long as they’re real, reason-based Doughnuts.

  68. 68
    Ragutis

    Thanks to David Brin, the word “torus’ always makes me think of the Jophur, and that stinks.

  69. 69
    Therrin

    Sastra,

    My only hope is that they don’t hate me enough to kick me out.

    From your own house?

  70. 70
    Christoph Burschka

    Condensing the essence of a Dan Brown novel into a few brief minutes; nice.

    Even with the BS warning, the gradual realization was awesome:

    1. Okay, pretty pictures of the planet and a soothing music. A bit clichéd, but maybe they have something interesting to say.
    2. Human misery and doing something about it. Hey, that doesn’t sound so…
    3. Mh… “code”, “pattern”? What?
    4. Aliens?
    5. FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU—

  71. 71
    Christoph Burschka

    Also: Frigging donuts, how do they work?

  72. 72
    creature

    Donuts? GTFOH! That is the secret of teh universe? All thses years, I’ve been avoiding donuts. Now I have a better reason, than just ‘not liking them’.

  73. 73
    Pareidolius

    MESSAGE BEGINS——————–

    Godless Shills and Minions:
    The Glibertarian Rebels have revealed our Sooper Seekrit plans for Reptiloid PharmaDomination of this festering little backwater. Yes we have traveled the endless light years to reach earth. Yes we have been suppressing everything free, natural and good and replacing it with our own expensive, toxic and eeeeeevil products designed to enslave the mindless monkey mobs to do our nefarious bidding. No, we have never heard of this “YouTube”. What is it? A secret rebel communications system?
    Why have I not been informed of this? I must notify Egg-Mother Lizz and the council of the Illuminati (which means another dreadful evening with the Rockerfellers and the Rothchilds showing us pictures of their hatchlings and prattling on about who has the most money).
    The things I endure for the Corpus.

    Employ Plan 32B. Report back when the rebels have been neutralized, and figure out how to work this v’schraak YouTube thing.

    Lord Draconis Zeneca VH7iHL

    Pharmaca Magna of Terra, Grand Vitara of The Outer Spiral, Foreward Mavoon of the Great Fleet

    Glaxxon PharmaCOM Orbital Command
    011100100101001

    ———————-MESSAGE TERMINATES

  74. 74
    supernova

    I’m increasingly coming to the view that most “new” stupidity turns out to be just some recombination of old stupidity when you scratch below the surface. This just appears to be New Ageism/Postmodernism mixed with Libertarianism with a bit of New World Order conspiracy thrown in for good measure.

  75. 75
    supernova

    Actually according to this the Thrive movement appears to be standard anarcho-capitalism with all the New Age stuff just a cover.

  76. 76
    charlessoto

    This video is a hoax designed to distract us from the real free energy solution – quantum zeppole.

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