Good god, media, I DON’T CARE ABOUT IOWA ANY MORE. It’s a freakish little local contest dominated by hardcore fanatics, and the only reason the results will mean anything is that the media will do its best to pump up the outcome into a portent of things to come. So when I saw this headline in the Minneapolis Star Tribune at the coffee shop today, I just set it aside, disgusted, disinterested, and disenchanted.
Bachmann isn’t going to win. Even if she did, she’s one lunatic among a field of demented dwarfs.
What headline next, Strib? “SARAH PALIN: STILL IRRELEVANT”? How about “JOHN MCCAIN AIN’T DEAD YET” or “SASQUATCH PROBABLY WON’T WIN REPUBLICAN NOMINATION”?
I’m ready to call for a return of party bosses in smoke-filled rooms; this obsession with turning politics into a horse race, with every news source fussing over percentage points, is making a joke of democracy.
The only “points” we should be discussing are the substance of their policies.
65 comments
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Sastra
30 December 2011 at 8:32 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Actually, the way it’s going, Sasquatch would probably stand a decent chance.
Classical Cipher, Murmur Muris, OM
30 December 2011 at 8:32 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Why “dwarfs”?
'Tis Himself, OM.
30 December 2011 at 8:36 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
No, Sasquatch is too hard to pin down on specifics.
Glen Davidson
30 December 2011 at 8:40 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Well obviously it’s Minnesota news, considering the district that she represents. Dull “news” for sure, but there’d be people in Minnesota wondering why Strib wasn’t reporting on Bachmann, for better or worse.
I don’t care, but I care about as little about politics as its participants do about me. I really can’t fault a newspaper covering news of local interest, however, especially as that increasingly becomes the newspapers’ remaining niche.
Glen Davidson
llewelly
30 December 2011 at 8:41 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
SASQUATCH IS A MUSLIM HE VOTED FOR OBAMACARE HE VOTED FOR THE DEATH PANELS AND HE VOTED FOR GLOBAL WARMING!!
Irene Delse
30 December 2011 at 8:43 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
@ Classical Cipher:
Because of their intellectual stature?
Randomfactor
30 December 2011 at 8:51 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Why “dwarfs”?
Because the pygmies are Democrats.
oc1dean
30 December 2011 at 8:55 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
But I want her covered in order to hopefully expose her for the crazed person she is. Maybe her district will come to its senses
feralboy12
30 December 2011 at 8:57 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Hard to see the justification for the Pearl Harbor-sized headline, however.
changeable moniker
30 December 2011 at 8:57 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Hmph. “Dwarrows”, please.
NovaC
30 December 2011 at 8:57 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Llewelly
Bwahahahahahahaahahahah!
Sounds eerily like those faux news watchers that have gone full bore guano!
Rev. BigDumbChimp
30 December 2011 at 8:58 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Evils gives up big for the next Miss America
Zeno
30 December 2011 at 8:58 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
In other news, Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead.
Rev. BigDumbChimp
30 December 2011 at 9:03 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
that would be elvis
Rev. BigDumbChimp
30 December 2011 at 9:05 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
and bid
ok i think that’s enough from me for the year.
Stardrake
30 December 2011 at 9:34 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I was amused to see her book on the 50% off table at the B&N near Southdale (that’s a mall in the southern Minneapolis suburbs, for our non-Minnesota friends). I also noted a similar markdown on Amazon.
It’s been out for just over a month! In political season!
That’s an even better indicator that she is the proverbial toast.
(I mentioned the Amazon markdown to my lady while writing this post–we then broke out in a chorus of “Schadenfreude” from AVENUE Q!)
janine
30 December 2011 at 9:44 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Good news, everybody. PZ gets to get Bachmann as his representative.
thewhollynone
30 December 2011 at 9:58 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
When I see a front page spread like that in my local newspaper, I immediately know that for the next week or so there will be a full page ad paid for by that person or some political committee. Newspapers these days, particularly local or regional papers, must sell advertizing to stay barely alive and to do that they have to throw in front page fluff pieces about the advertizer, whether it’s a politician or a car salesman or the president of the local bank. Nobody takes their journalism seriously anymore. Your Minneapolis Star Tribune is just kowtowing to the local congressperson who is buying ad space with campaign money. It’s capitalism in action! Use the newspaper to line your birdcage.
And yes, your congresswoman really is a dingbat and an embarassment to feminists everywhere. I share your pain.
Kamaka
30 December 2011 at 10:01 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
@ janine
I know you play rough and all, but that is mean even for you.
shouldbeworking
30 December 2011 at 10:02 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Sasquatch would have the same problems as Obama. Given the number and locations of sightings, there is evidence that Sasquatch was born in Canada and freely crosses the border without a passport. He is most lkely an animist, not muslim. Homeland Security and Fakes News should be informed at once.
shouldbeworking
30 December 2011 at 10:05 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Bachmann is probably doing a better job as PZ’s representative when she running for president than if she was actually occupying her seat in congress. She’s less likely to do some real harm to your country.
sprocket
30 December 2011 at 10:06 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Well since it’s a slow news day (forgive the off topic post) this needs to be pharyngulated:
Do you think Muslim prayers should be allowed in school?
http://www.citytv.com/toronto/citynews/news/local/article/144877–groups-protest-muslim-prayers-at-toronto-public-school
Poll on left side down a bit.
Kamaka
30 December 2011 at 10:08 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Dingbat? OK. But she’s a dominionist, which makes her a dangerous dingbat.
janine
30 December 2011 at 10:14 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Kamaka, I was assuming that everyone here is geeky enough to know the Professor Farnsworth way of introducing bad news. Just imagine that I am an one hundred and seventy year old mad scientist.
janine
30 December 2011 at 10:17 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Dingbat? Edith Bunker is much more intelligent and more wise than Michelle Bachmann.
Kamaka
30 December 2011 at 10:18 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
@ janine
I’ll get to work on that, you big meany.
janine
30 December 2011 at 10:25 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Here you go, Kamaka.
I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.
love moderately ॐ
30 December 2011 at 10:27 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
She looks like she’s about to be raptured any minute.
love moderately ॐ
30 December 2011 at 10:28 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
That or she already is rising up into the sky.
Kamaka
30 December 2011 at 10:31 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
@ janine
Hmm, I had a different mental image of you.
But if that is your projection, so be it.
janine
30 December 2011 at 10:39 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Will this work for you, Kamaka? I think it is mean enough.
frankb
30 December 2011 at 10:47 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
As an Iowan, I enjoy seeing crazed Minnesotan. Take that you gophers. Is she standing on a chair in that photo? I can’t picture any of the other candidates doing that. Maybe she lost all her staff so there is no one to get her something to stand on.
JohnnieCanuck
30 December 2011 at 10:49 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
re dwarfs:
http://agirlandherfed.com/1.954.html
shouldbeworking
30 December 2011 at 10:51 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
When I first glanced at the headline I thought it said “run out of Iowa”. No such luch, I guess.
janine
30 December 2011 at 10:57 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Frankb, Bachmann is from Waterloo, Iowa. As was John Wayne Gacy, not the Duke.
crowepps
31 December 2011 at 12:00 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Because there are seven?
boskerbonzer
31 December 2011 at 12:13 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
“Why dwarfs?”
Because it’s more PC than mental midgets or tiny ‘tards or miniscule morons.
anuran
31 December 2011 at 12:15 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Maybe time is running out for Bachmann. But according to the Philadelphia Inquirer Santorum Surges From Behind.
Ragutis
31 December 2011 at 12:32 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Best. Headline. EVER.
StevoR
31 December 2011 at 12:33 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
@22. sprocket : 30th December 2011 at 10:06 pm
Voted.
***
Do you think Muslim prayers should be allowed in school?
Yes (61%) No (39%) Back to Poll
***
As usual they didn’t have enough good options available, eg.
There should be NO prayers of any sort in school. Sigh.
StevoR
31 December 2011 at 12:35 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
@shouldbeworking : 30th December 2011 at 10:05 pm
Yup. Sad but true.
@shouldbeworking : 30 December 2011 at 10:51 pm
If only. Sigh.
stubby
31 December 2011 at 12:35 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
That was kind of a dick move for god to tell her to run and then not help her campaign.
chigau (難しい)
31 December 2011 at 12:37 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
anuran
One of the comments contained “…if Santorum really does slip from the rear…”
I’m not american and I had never heard of Santorum before the new definition, so he is not the first thing I think of.
Very few of the commenters seem aware of it.
anuran
31 December 2011 at 12:52 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Chigau, I’m just wondering why the editor let that one through.
jentokulano
31 December 2011 at 12:54 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
It truly is bizarre that the media are obsessing about a prelim caucus as never before; there is REAL shit happening in the world! Historically, candidates that do well at the caucus in Iowa are forgotten a few months down the road. And hey the media IGNORES the Alaska and Hawaii caucuses (caucii?)…Cockeye? Average Joe sure doesn’t give a shit this early. Like Will Rogers said, they wait until election day , check their pocketbook, and decide.
CompulsoryAccount7746
31 December 2011 at 12:58 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
They’re not demented lunatics.
They’re just speaking in code. :P
Video: BoingBoing – Penn Jillette’s Guide to the Election
StevoR
31 December 2011 at 1:11 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
The Republicans have had so many debates already – but have they had one yet that touches on anything remotely science~y like about the reality (& classroom teaching) of evolution, HIRGO* or space exploration policy?
Will they actually have such a debate at some point? (Imagines PZ Myers or Phil Plait or NdG Tyson moderating – grins!)
In some ways, like watching a train wreck, it has its own morbid fascination to this Aussie.
Given the choice – which I’m not – I’d vote for Bigfoot over all of them. The one I’d like to win is Jon Huntsman but I think Mitt Romney is looking most likely and is about the second least bad of a very bad bunch.
Problem with politics is that whoever gets in you’ve elected a politician.
I have to say your US system of politics and governance makes very little sense to me. But then it seems to work for you in the States so what can I do or say? Not much & I’ve probably said too much as it is..
Just one thing : Please don’t elect someone utterly crazy in 2012 like Bachmann. Please!
(Not that I think you will but .. a slight concern given the US’s global powerand influence esp. over us here in Oz. Also I do like y’all in the States and want things to go well for y’all too.)
———————–
* Human Induced Rapid Global Overheating – a better, more honest and straightforward descriptive term than just “global warming” I think.
Seabisquick
31 December 2011 at 1:54 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Republican Iowa caucus winners:
2008: Mike Huckabee
2004*: George W. Bush
2000: George W. Bush
1996: Bob Dole
1992*: George H.W. Bush
1988: Bob Dole
1984*: Ronald Reagan
1980: George H.W. Bush
*2004, 1992, and 1984 were years of an incumbent nominee, so the winner ran unopposed. So out of the five times that there was an actual contest (1980, 1988, 1996, 2000, 2008):
The Iowa caucus picked the eventual nominee: 2/5
The winner of the Iowa caucus was elected president: 1/5
Iowa picked the winner in years when a republican won the presidency: 1/3
Unimpressive. Certainly not worthy of the hype.
shouldbeworking
31 December 2011 at 2:22 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
We Canucks have sort of a selfish interest in the outcome of your election too. Your republican candidates seem too far to the right or outright loonie for even most of our right wing politicians. Every four years I learn something about your election system. It works (most of the time), but the details make quantum physics seem comprehensible.
Bigfoot may not be eligible as a republican, he might be too well educated and isn’t a lawyer.
DLC
31 December 2011 at 2:35 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I am also sick of the dog-and-pony show. The race is all about : who can be further to the right, who can be more Jesus-soaked and hate-filled, and who can pander to the Lowest Common Denominator the most. None of the current contestants has any decency. Not that Obama is exactly Mr Perfect, but compared to those guys he’s wondrous.
Dr. Audley Z. Darkheart, liar and scoundrel
31 December 2011 at 8:14 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Huh. I’m kind of surprised that you ever cared about Iowa, PZ. Spoiler alert: Romney’s gonna get the nom, so who the fuck cares about the petty power struggles amongst the rest of the candidates? It’s not even particularly good political theater.
Aquaria
31 December 2011 at 8:24 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
The Republicans have had so many debates already – but have they had one yet that touches on anything remotely science~y like about the reality (& classroom teaching) of evolution, HIRGO* or space exploration policy?
Will they actually have such a debate at some point? (Imagines PZ Myers or Phil Plait or NdG Tyson moderating – grins!)
Why have a whole debate for 7 douchebag cabbages with legs to bob in sync and chant, “Science is wrong, there is no evolution and no climate change!”?
humanape
31 December 2011 at 8:25 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I totally agree except for Jon Huntsman who warned the other candidates that their denial of basic scientific facts makes it impossible for intelligent people to vote for them.
Huntsman is a Republican so he has different ideas than Obama, but he was the only Republican candidate who agreed with Obama’s decision to get out of Iraq now. Of course virtually no Republicans will be voting for Huntsman because he isn’t stupid enough.
Kristjan Wager
31 December 2011 at 9:05 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I am guess it is a reference to this
Naked Bunny with a Whip
31 December 2011 at 9:09 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Bachmann is Minnesota’s hardcore fanatic, otherwise the StarTrib would have stopped talking about her weeks ago, like everyone else.
I live in Iowa. I can’t even watch a YouTube video without getting a Mitt Romney pre-view ad now. So trust me, I’m as sick of Iowa as you are.
littlejohn
31 December 2011 at 9:53 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
“Running out of time” is a euphemism for nearing death. So this could be good news.
nmscorpions
31 December 2011 at 10:57 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
The Republican primaries should come with a warning label.
CAUTION: use for entertainment purposes ONLY.
As for Bachmann, she was pretty much irrelevant from the moment she announced her candidacy. Her meaningless “win” of the Iowa straw poll just got her enough attention from TV comedians to make her the butt joke of the year.
charlesthornton
31 December 2011 at 1:22 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Pleas remember that this is the contest that has produced the memorable headline “Santorum Surges” (Sacramento Bee)
I didn’t say it was a good memory …
mekathleen
31 December 2011 at 4:20 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
It’s not a slow news day, President Obama signed the National Defense Authorization Act, codifying into law the civil rights abuses that the Executive Branch has been engaging in since the Bush era and paving the way for war with Iran.
And on the bright side, the Howard County Council in Maryland just passed a gender identity protection ordinance. Some political officers believe in civil rights – for EVERYONE. Yay!
mekathleen
31 December 2011 at 4:21 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I think Bachman’s main function is to help the press distract people from more serious, but less kooky, news.
richardgadsden
31 December 2011 at 6:36 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Doesn’t help. Just results in party polls rather than candidate polls, and every twitch of the Dem-vs-Rep president number getting obsessed over instead.
Believe me, we have the party bosses (the smoke-filled rooms are now smoke-free, but nothing else has changed) and that’s what happens here in the UK.
StevoR
1 January 2012 at 1:39 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Aquaria : 31 December 2011 at 8:24 am
Because I’d like to hope – really hope – there may be something a bit *more* than just that happen.
Also, I guess, so we know just *how* bad they all are and whose worst and least worst out of them.
But, yeah, you’re probably right.
mekathleen
1 January 2012 at 1:39 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
In Illinois we have the smoke filled rooms. By agreement, everyone but the crazies drops out before the election. It looks a lot like the current Republican field and Obama. Everyone who could challenge the party choice has “quiet talks” with Rahm Emanuel and decides to focus on other things.
Rey Fox
1 January 2012 at 2:04 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I think this is what you mean.
chippanfire
1 January 2012 at 4:19 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
If I were to use an insult based on racist or sexist language I would be flamed to death here. And rightly so. So please stop using disabilities as a term of abuse. It is equally unnecessary and equally disgusting.
Thank you.