Dec 09 2011

May your days be wan and miasmal, and may all your Christmases be cacodæmoniacal

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Face it: most of the nativity scenes out there suck. The Squidtivity isn’t bad, but it still doesn’t convey the true message of the holidays.

So I made my own.

Have a squamous Christmas and a rugose New Year!

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30 comments

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1

Gregory Greenwood

9 December 2011 at 12:46 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

That popping sound you hear is Bill Donohue’s head exploding…

For this effort alone, PZ, you should be eaten first.
2

Blondin

9 December 2011 at 12:48 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Charles Darwin!
3

PZ Myers

9 December 2011 at 12:50 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

That’s Charles Darwin holding the skull of one of his enemies.
4

janicot

9 December 2011 at 12:50 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Where is the ‘Caga Nei’? Or is that still only in Catalan nativities?
5

Glen Davidson

9 December 2011 at 12:56 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Baby Jesus’ beginning in a warm little pond.

Well hey, earth’s not as boring as expected…

Glen Davidson
6

chigau (違う)

9 December 2011 at 1:12 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

That is just creepy.
7

PZ Myers

9 December 2011 at 1:14 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Ever seen a crucifix? Now tell me my little diorama is creepy.
8

anuran

9 December 2011 at 1:18 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Crucifixes? They’re just zombie Jewsicles. Appetizing, not creepy.
9

chigau (違う)

9 December 2011 at 1:30 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

One of the crucifixes in my childhood home contained an Extreme Unction kit.
My brother and I used to play with it.
Beat that.
10

René

9 December 2011 at 1:59 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

This is SO not shopped.
11

julietdefarge

9 December 2011 at 2:01 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Needs a krampus.
12

Tethys

9 December 2011 at 2:02 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Ever seen a crucifix? Now tell me my little diorama is creepy

Many years ago when middle spawn was 6 years old, we were driving past a church with a several story high cross in front of it.

“Look Mom, look!” he said from the back seat “There’s one of those things they hang dead people on.”
13

peterh

9 December 2011 at 2:03 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Every Nativity scene I ever saw was somewhere between grotesque and downright awful. Especially the “live” ones.
14

feralboy12

9 December 2011 at 2:20 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

The smaller nativity scenes always look vaguely like those fancy chess sets you see in catalogs. I’m forever opening with “Baby Jesus to King 4.”
Killed By Fish
15

chigau (違う)

9 December 2011 at 2:21 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Every nativity scene needs one of these.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caganer
16

joshuabennett

9 December 2011 at 2:37 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

I took a crucifix and made it better. Really it was Bill Donahue who inspired me to do it.
17

'Tis Himself, OM

9 December 2011 at 2:41 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Every Nativity scene I ever saw was somewhere between grotesque and downright awful. Especially the “live” ones.

Even the bacon and sausage nativity scene from last year?
18

vincentalvarez

9 December 2011 at 3:04 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

It’s the Horrified B-Movie victims! We have most of this stuff! Should make one of our own! :)
19

felicis

9 December 2011 at 3:06 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Perhaps not as good as yours, but in the spirit of the season:

http://www.darquecathedral.org/archives/47
20

David Marjanović

9 December 2011 at 3:21 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

That’s Charles Darwin holding the skull of one of his enemies.

I’m reminded of when the young Richard Owen stole a head to dissect it… :-)

Baby Jesus’ beginning in a warm little pond.

Best thing you’ve ever said. Thread won. Keep going, and I’ll nominate you for Molly.

Needs a krampus.

Wrong. Krampus day is December 5th.
21

Caine, Fleur du Mal

9 December 2011 at 3:27 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

David:

Best thing you’ve ever said. Thread won. Keep going, and I’ll nominate you for Molly.

Glen Davidson is already an OM.
22

DLC

9 December 2011 at 4:19 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

As Dread Cthulhlu rose from the waves of R’lyeh he spotted Charles Darwin holding the skull of one of his enemies and contemplating, and the Dread Lord from beyond the stars, after eons of brooding in his necropolis, at long last knew fear, and fled, lest Darwin the God-Slayer come upon him.

Thus, Darwin saved Christmas.
23

evader

9 December 2011 at 5:15 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Bwahahahaha!

Coolest nativity scene ever.

Darwin holding the skull of one of his enemies… Superb.

Happy holidays, try not to spend all of them straight and sober (:
24

shouldbeworking

9 December 2011 at 5:25 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Snif! That’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me at this time of year.
25

Rip Steakface

9 December 2011 at 6:22 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

PZ:

That’s Charles Darwin holding the skull of one of his enemies.

*clears throat*

SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!
26

Brother Ogvorbis, OM, Demoted

9 December 2011 at 6:29 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

That’s Charles Darwin holding the skull of one of his enemies.

But does the skull have an orangutan’s jaw? (No, I will not name the hoax — I don’t want to summon that here).
27

peterh

9 December 2011 at 7:28 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

@ #14:

Maybe “King’s Sheep” to K4? We can’t have baby jeebus as a pawn, now! (And yerz gotta begin with 8 of ‘em.)

@ #17:

Awfluller & awfuller! Don’t recall those. Must have had a defensive implosion so’s I’d forget! Wow! The awful – how it stings! Please don’t do that again! What did I ever do to you?
28

LightningRose

10 December 2011 at 11:01 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Okay, where in hell can I get a figurine of Charles Darwin holding the skull of one of his enemies.
29

mythusmage

10 December 2011 at 2:54 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

You forgot the prism and alembic.
30

David Marjanović

10 December 2011 at 4:27 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Glen Davidson is already an OM.

Oh. So I confused him with someone else twice. ~:-|

Thus, Darwin saved Christmas.

Week saved.