Aug 26 2011

Friday Cephalopod: Why you should avoid intimacy with a squid

Categories:

Cephalopods, Organisms

by PZ Myers

(via Te Ara Encyclopedia of New Zealand)

(Also on Sb)

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28 comments

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1

feralboy12, der Ken-Puppe Sie außerhalb in 1983 verlassen

26 August 2011 at 2:02 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

I’d kiss them, but I can’t find their lips.
2

Glen Davidson

26 August 2011 at 2:02 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

That and the drowning.

OTOH, millions of squid disagree with your judgment. If they didn’t, pretty soon there wouldn’t be millions of squid.

Glen Davidson
3

PZ Myers

26 August 2011 at 2:04 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Unfortunately, as far as I know, the squid don’t read my blog, so clearly the “you” refers to those less slimy tentacular beings who do.
4

Dhorvath, OM

26 August 2011 at 2:06 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Firm embrace gets a new meaning.
5

Glen Davidson

26 August 2011 at 2:07 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Unfortunately, as far as I know, the squid don’t read my blog

I’m sensing unrequited love now.

Glen Davidson
6

Gyeong Hwa

26 August 2011 at 2:12 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

PFFT. Larval lepidoptrans are worse. If you are trying to impress me, you have failed. /Homer Simpson
7

Mr Ed

26 August 2011 at 2:13 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

This come up a lot where you work?
8

KingUber

26 August 2011 at 2:16 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Tell that to the Japanese hentai industry
9

skeptifem

26 August 2011 at 2:44 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Hey now, I don’t tell you what to do.
10

db_bird

26 August 2011 at 2:46 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

They’re not all like that. That’s a hooker!
11

eric

26 August 2011 at 2:57 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

They shoulda called’em Architoothis!
12

onefuriousllama

26 August 2011 at 2:58 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

I saw a giant squid at Te Papa in Wellington; they have a bunch of exhibits that include squid. I think I tweeted PZ a picture while there.

Squid really are amazing things.
13

Michael Swanson

26 August 2011 at 2:59 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

What I love about that photo is that it clearly shows God’s design. Before the Fall, when all creatures were peaceful and consumed no flesh, those hooks were — obviously! — perfectly designed to harvest kelp and algae. After the Fall, when Eve’s horrible transgression of seeking knowledge doomed trillions of animals to being hunted and consumed — often alive! — the hooks were then set to dig into the flesh of fish before they pulling them in to be chopped up by beautiful, once vegetarian beaks!

Praise be!

(There is always the possibility that animals consumed other animals before the Fall, but I just can’t accept that. Sure something absurd like evolution, which is a supposedly naturally occurring process with no plan, no direction and is apathetic to all suffering could kind of explain it, but there is no way that the God of Love could have designed his creations to inflict and suffer from that kind of pain. Not until the woman he designed to be Adam’s slave bit an apple or a pomegranate anyway. Then everyone and everything everywhere deserves to suffer, of course. Praise be!)
14

Cuttlefish

26 August 2011 at 3:22 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

I see no reason here, though, to avoid intimacy with a Cuttlefish.

Just sayin’.
15

Sili

26 August 2011 at 3:24 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

You’re not the boss of me.

–o–

Incidentally, it seems my Alma Mater has a closet Pharyngulista. That’s a talk about cephalopods aimed at year 7-10. (Misspelt) Dissection included.
16

carolw

26 August 2011 at 3:27 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

How cool would it be to have a few of those up your arms? You could open beers, fillet fish, scare off wandering Seventh-Day-Adventists…
17

TomZ

26 August 2011 at 3:45 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Leela’s mother in Futurama comes to mind…
18

Rixaeton

26 August 2011 at 3:55 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Now there is a hug that just won’t let go.
19

Maverick

26 August 2011 at 3:55 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

I notice this is from a New Zealand publication. Has New Zealand’s offering of glorious cephalopod imagery atoned for the whole TCM thing?
20

Loqi

26 August 2011 at 5:01 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

No, that’s why *you* should avoid intimacy with a squid. I happen to like barbs piercing my flesh.
21

cyberCMDR

26 August 2011 at 5:15 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Of course I would avoid intimacy with this. It’s obviously a mother-in-law.
22

cyberCMDR

26 August 2011 at 5:19 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

My apologies to any mother-in-laws out there. I should have said it reminded me of my mine. My mother in law was so bad, I could make all the MIL jokes I wanted, and my wife agreed with me!
23

amphiox

26 August 2011 at 10:43 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

They shoulda called’em Architoothis!

Mesonychotoothis, actually.

(Architeuthis has a serrated ring instead of a swivel-hook. Perhaps not quite as nasty, but still pretty bad-ass).
24

Andy the ex-cable guy

27 August 2011 at 7:16 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

P.Z. I believe you missed something in that picture. That picture clearly proves the evolution theory. It proves that humans are descended from squid. In the lower left hand corner of the picture you can see what appears to be three fingers of a human’s left hand. Or the other theory could be, that your precautionary statement is too late and this squid’s mother already procreated with a human and this is the result.
25

Squiddhartha

27 August 2011 at 12:26 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Those are its “I’m gonna get you!” suckers.

….sorry.
26

evader

27 August 2011 at 9:11 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Aaah, if only we could teach squid to blog in English…

I’d love to know what they think of us!

I wonder how well they do at sorting us into groups, or what those group naming conventions would be based upon. I would guess based on our nature towards them, and maybe even towards each other?

One can only wonder.

Such a sad thing; to know that we won’t know what they know.
27

johnny fuchs

28 August 2011 at 7:23 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Meanwhile, Octopai are sitting around their computers looking at pictures of sharply toothed mouths saying “Holy shit! Humans put eachother’s GENITALS on that?”
28

azkyroth

28 August 2011 at 4:09 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Do not taunt Rule 34.