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I Know as Much about God as the Pope Knows about God, Part I.

Really, I do. I know every bit as much about god as the Pope knows about god. The Pope probably knows a vast amount more about church rules, customs, bank accounts, and beliefs than I do, but this does not give him the right to talk about god. Because he knows he knows no more about god than I know about god.

Clearly, this must be the case. Indeed, I might know more about god than the pope knows about god.

The Pope claims god is against abortions, yet god is the biggest abortionist of all time, causing the deaths of many millions of petri people before they ever even get to be in petri.

With god being such an active abortionist, it is difficult to understand how His Holiness can say, with any kind of straight face, that god is against abortion.

The Pope says god is against condoms (rubbers in my time) or anything else that could possibly prevent any couple in coitus from making another little miracle. Thus, the Pope’s god (the god) has no problem over people getting sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) because they are trying to make babies as the god said they should do, even though the god may abort such babies after they get started as a fertilized egg. And in this reported view of god, it is, according to the Pope’s understanding of god’s thought processes, better to die of AIDS, or some other deadly STDs, than to wrap the tool of personhood implantation in latex (alternatives readily available for the latex intolerant) thereby preventing a fertilizing intent sperm from seeking its target and keeping disease and death outside of the heaven forbidden flexible shield.

Clearly that Pope knows less about the god than I know about the god. Because I do not think it rational to say that the god wants people to die horribly when they need not do so, and it is irrational to say that the god is against abortion.

God makes miscarriages, i.e. abortions, happen to a lot of washed-out-of-the-uterus little miracle embryos. Those that have gone down the drain of destruction were taken away by the Pope’s god. Some of those that do not go down the drain are frozen into “snowflake children.” Really. There are adoption procedures no doubt under way somewhere in “god has his reasons” land.

The Pope’s understanding of the will of the god is that the god loves each of these products of conception as real live “people” that should, by law, be given “personhood.” The Pope, as mouthpiece for the god, says it should be a crime to in any way interfere with the development of a kicking, breathing human being after the sperm of a male human has been planted like a spear in the egg of the recipient of his sexual urges, in this analysis a female human. This goes on all of the time. Humans seem to like to engage in activities that cause the release of sperms seeking eggs to fertilize, and male and female humans practice the art of creating this situation all of the time. The activity is particularly popular on Fridays, Saturdays, holidays, prom nights, and honeymoons.

We will, for the next few blogs or so, look at other obvious reasons why I, or you, know as much about god as the Pope knows about god.

Readers contributions to this dialogue are most welcome.


Edwin Kagin, © 2012.